Posted on 09/09/2003 1:15:51 PM PDT by Publius
As habitat for the metrosexual male, casual Seattle is no utopia.
Ask people here what a metrosexual is and you might hear: Is that, like, a hermaphrodite? Or, is that having sex on the bus?
Mais, non. The metrosexual, for non-religious readers of The New York Times, is Madison Avenue's buzzword for a straight, urban man who's in touch with his feminine side.
The modern metrosexual -- whether he accepts that particular label or not -- likely enjoys premium shopping, stylish fashion and good grooming. Comfortable with himself, he's neither effeminate nor wimpy.
Though most still consider Europeans light years ahead at fashion and grooming, the metrosexual is evidence that the definition and image of masculinity grows ever wider in this country.
They may be harder to spot on the street here than in New York or L.A., but we've got 'em.
Take Jon Ima, 31, of Seattle. He'd never heard the term and he's unlikely to use it, but he fits the trend. Ima, a real estate developer, enjoys monthly trips to Ummelina International Day Spa downtown for a manicure, massage, facial or brow waxing.
"It's kind of like a mini-vacation. It takes the stress away," said Ima, who lives on Capitol Hill. "You come here to look better or feel better."
Every 2 1/2 weeks, Ima spends $60, before tip, on a haircut. Most days, he teases Bedhead gel or other high-end "product" into his hair.
He buys clothes almost exclusively at Mario's, where his favorite brand is Roberto Cavalli and says he "has a problem" when it comes to shopping. He once bought a $3,400 Isaia suit for its quality and cut. His cologne is Dunhill or Jean Paul Gaultier. His vodka is Ketel One.
His fiancee, Lana Juric, says sometimes he takes longer to get ready than she does. His clothes take up more closet space than hers.
But, says Juric, "I wouldn't like it any other way. It's a plus." She loves that her man smells good, his clothes and shoes match, his garments are immaculately pressed.
And that is why many a man goes metrosexual: for the women.
Ask Ward Van Allen, a bartender at downtown's Fire & Ice restaurant.
"The girls that I'm attracted to have really nice style and taste. And I guess I can't expect to be with them if I don't pay attention to that stuff too," Van Allen, 33, says.
He enjoys shopping, style magazines, well-cut clothes and moisturizer that costs $40 for a few ounces.
"One of the reasons that I get product is I don't want to be 40 and look like I'm 50, or be 50 and look 60," said Van Allen, who hopes his appearance telegraphs that he takes good care of himself.
"I told one friend that I was going to get my eyebrows waxed and he was like, you're WHAT?! I said, It's just a brow waxing. It's no big deal."
Van Allen, who's heard the term "straight-gay" rather than metrosexual, also likes to cook and bake, once making a three-tiered carrot cake for a female friend's wedding.
Many women appreciate such skills, interests and tastes. It gives them more to bond over with male friends, partners and relatives.
And it may help turn their heads.
"I think that's at least 50 percent of the motivation for men," says Michael Flocker, author of the upcoming "The Metrosexual Guide to Style: A Handbook for the Modern Man." "Straight men are no longer lumbering around in a unibrow and a trench coat."
Flocker, 39, says there is no one metrosexual style. "You can look 100 different ways and still fit into this category," said Flocker, a features editor for AOL Time Warner.
For the would-be metrosexual, Flocker first recommends high-quality underwear and socks, a good haircut, and getting rid of excess ear or nostril hair. But he also urges men to choose what they like and not to succumb to brand worship.
He sums up the benefits of metrosexuality with this equation: if a woman meets two men of similar integrity, kindness and interests, but one is stylish and the other has a "mullet, crusty toes and bad BO," which would she choose?
Case closed.
Beyond raunch
Marian Salzman, chief strategy officer at Euro RSCG Worldwide, an advertising and marketing agency, says several things are changing. Men want advertisements and products to speak to their intellect and emotions. "No more raunchy, laddy stuff," Salzman wrote in an e-mail while on vacation. "It's about being respected for their minds before their bodies and sports prowess."
In a survey of 510 male respondents by Euro RSCG, 49 percent said there's nothing wrong with a facial or a manicure.
As a culture, Salzman adds: "We are more comfortable than ever before with everything gay; 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,' is just a symptom of a sea change in acceptance that gay men and straight men can be friends, can share and can learn from one another."
Another survey by research firm Mintel International found that 90 percent of American men say it's fine to go to a spa or salon. About a third say they've bought more grooming products in the past five years.
They also found that new shaving, skin care, hair care and deodorant products aimed at men have doubled in each of the past two years and are on pace to do the same in 2003.
Among the newer high-end lines are Zihr, Nickel, Anthony, and John Allan's, joining established ones such as Decléor, Babor and Kiehl's.
Sometimes, making men comfortable means using a mite of camouflage. At Gene Juarez Salons & Spas, women get a "spa" manicure, while men receive a "sports" manicure; it's the same service. A package including a massage, manicure and Swiss shower is called the "executive retreat," rather than female-oriented packages such as "pure bliss."
At the Bellevue location of Gene Juarez, where there is a separate men's salon, men now make up 27 percent of the hair-cutting business.
Linda Green, director of the company's nail department, says men are paying more attention to looks and grooming because presentation matters in the business world.
Some men who have quietly been using women's products at home are coming out of the product closet. There are also more unisex products that couples can share.
Often, women introduce men or further their metrosexual ways.
Michelle Barghalame, who recently left a job as a sales associate at Barneys New York, a metrosexual haven, says men often tell her, "My wife told me to come here."
Most men do prefer to keep it simple, Barghalame, 24, said, opting for a nice cleanser, moisturizer and shaving cream, but skipping the mask, eye cream and other extras.
And, if there's a little or a lot of vanity involved, so be it. Men say female vanity's been around forever; why can't it be their turn too?
"Women have known for a long time that the right haircut and the right shoes can not only change the way she feels about herself, but also how others look at her," says Flocker, the author.
Jamming the gaydar
Metrosexuals can be an is-he-or-isn't-he? mystery for gay men. Some like a cloud of ambiguity hovering over them like an intriguing, but unplaceable perfume.
"I like attention. I want that," says Terry Jones, who works at Mario's, favors Ernemegildo Zegna suits, and does not wear jeans or shorts, ever.
Jones, who is straight, grew up in Brooklyn, where his style imprint came from his grandfather and the natty neighborhood pimps.
A metrosexual who favors classic style and takes fashion cues from Prince Charles, Jones loves women. And he says they love him too. But, he doesn't mind if a gay man finds him stylish and debonair.
Some gay men appreciate such attention to style. "You're starting to see more straight guys looking like gay guys," says Valentino Romero, an assistant manager at Barneys, who is gay. "It's good for guys to know that it's OK to moisturize. It's not going to make you less masculine."
Others say it can be confusing.
"Oh honey, it's jammed the gaydar," said David Johnson, a hair stylist at Obadiah, who is gay.
"Seattle metrosexuals need to wear pins saying, 'I'm straight, I'm metrosexual and I'm proud.' They should have a metrosexual pride day too," Johnson said, half tongue-in-cheek, half wishfully.
For the straight male, it can be liberating to no longer be assumed to be gay. "Believe me, I've fought that a lot," says Jeff Bergman, a married Seattle man who enjoys Italian cashmere, ballet, fine linens and collecting ceramics.
He felt isolated as a 12-year-old in cooking class and as an 18-year-old with season opera tickets.
"It's OK to be aware of the finer things in life and not be attached with some sort of label," said Bergman, 42, a specialty food buyer.
That goes for the word metrosexual, which Bergman can live without. While such men often love labels of clothes and products, many run from the "metrosexual" label like it's a case of herpes.
The shelf life of the term is anyone's guess.
Where, after all, are the lines of metrosexualdom drawn? If you like Verdi and import cases of Burgundy, but dislike facials and manicures, are you a metrosexual? Or if you favor Bruno Magli shoes and pedicures, but your idea of haute cuisine is McDonald's, what then?
If the current generation of men is leaning metrosexual, marketers are no doubt salivating about the coming one.
Neil Stockman, 29, of Des Moines, learned about style from his girlfriend, Delsa Dislers. She showed him the joys of $100 Diesel jeans, suede and Kenneth Cole shoes after years spent in shorts, baseball caps and flip flops.
Now her sons are picking up those ways. The older one, Dylan, uses gel or pomade to style his hair and wears cologne. He is 11.
"He's already wrapped up in the whole look," said Stockman. "He spends as much time in front of the mirror and is as into name brands and fancy clothes as I am."
Hell, Jockey sold us guys down the river years ago and started making cotton briefs for women. They're supposed to be a little...uh...different in front, but nothing surprises me any more.
Never let the shoes outshine the outfit. (and he was wearing blue snakeskin shoes!
that these people are defining as "gay-like."
My point was that real men have a variety of interests (although maybe not facials!), but marketers find it useful to create stereotypes. First they presented men as sloppy, boring, smelly, jerks in front of the television - now they're calling exceptions to that stereotype (any guy with a real life) "metrosexual."
I always admired Steve McQueen, although he's not John Wayne ... my top example would be my Dad, "the cowboy in the continental suit."
So, when's the FR calendar with you in it? (just kidding!)
I'm old now and don't particularly want to persue marriage again. But, sometimes, I really wish I had met a real woman who wanted to be involved with a real man. Not Psuedo women looking for psuedo men. All you guys that found one, don't ever take her for granted, you're not likely to find another.
And let me add...Since my lifestyle only demands me getting "decent" once a month or so(Golf, wedings, and funerals), Second hand stores are a valuable resource for obtaining "preppy" type clothes at great prices.
And you're right, the "preppy" look (especially these days)is easy for us "fashion challenged" blue collar types to get right fairly easily. How hard is it to match kahki?
A good place around Atlanta for new, custom tailored suits and business attire is "The Men's Warehouse".
I sympathize, but there is a huge difference between using something like that for practical, medical reasons and using it for purely cosmetic reasons of vanity. And that seems to be a driving force behind this 'metrosexual' farce - vanity.
It may be because I've been overseas for 13 years, but I've never even heard of any of these brands. I guess that means I'm safe from metrosexuality.
My haircuts cost $6.75 at the base barber shop. We used to get a hot lather and straight razor trim around the edges, but fear of cuts and AIDS put an end to that about 10 years ago.
I shower every day and wear clean clothes. I prefer jeans or shorts and teeshirts, but nobody has to tell me when it's appropriate to wear something nicer.
I thank God every day my wife of 10 years likes me just as I am.
However, I wouldn't be caught dead spending three large on a suit, or in an opera house, or a day spa. Sweats, rock and roll, and a good bourbon for me. Guess I'm a bloody neanderthal.
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