Posted on 09/09/2003 1:15:51 PM PDT by Publius
As habitat for the metrosexual male, casual Seattle is no utopia.
Ask people here what a metrosexual is and you might hear: Is that, like, a hermaphrodite? Or, is that having sex on the bus?
Mais, non. The metrosexual, for non-religious readers of The New York Times, is Madison Avenue's buzzword for a straight, urban man who's in touch with his feminine side.
The modern metrosexual -- whether he accepts that particular label or not -- likely enjoys premium shopping, stylish fashion and good grooming. Comfortable with himself, he's neither effeminate nor wimpy.
Though most still consider Europeans light years ahead at fashion and grooming, the metrosexual is evidence that the definition and image of masculinity grows ever wider in this country.
They may be harder to spot on the street here than in New York or L.A., but we've got 'em.
Take Jon Ima, 31, of Seattle. He'd never heard the term and he's unlikely to use it, but he fits the trend. Ima, a real estate developer, enjoys monthly trips to Ummelina International Day Spa downtown for a manicure, massage, facial or brow waxing.
"It's kind of like a mini-vacation. It takes the stress away," said Ima, who lives on Capitol Hill. "You come here to look better or feel better."
Every 2 1/2 weeks, Ima spends $60, before tip, on a haircut. Most days, he teases Bedhead gel or other high-end "product" into his hair.
He buys clothes almost exclusively at Mario's, where his favorite brand is Roberto Cavalli and says he "has a problem" when it comes to shopping. He once bought a $3,400 Isaia suit for its quality and cut. His cologne is Dunhill or Jean Paul Gaultier. His vodka is Ketel One.
His fiancee, Lana Juric, says sometimes he takes longer to get ready than she does. His clothes take up more closet space than hers.
But, says Juric, "I wouldn't like it any other way. It's a plus." She loves that her man smells good, his clothes and shoes match, his garments are immaculately pressed.
And that is why many a man goes metrosexual: for the women.
Ask Ward Van Allen, a bartender at downtown's Fire & Ice restaurant.
"The girls that I'm attracted to have really nice style and taste. And I guess I can't expect to be with them if I don't pay attention to that stuff too," Van Allen, 33, says.
He enjoys shopping, style magazines, well-cut clothes and moisturizer that costs $40 for a few ounces.
"One of the reasons that I get product is I don't want to be 40 and look like I'm 50, or be 50 and look 60," said Van Allen, who hopes his appearance telegraphs that he takes good care of himself.
"I told one friend that I was going to get my eyebrows waxed and he was like, you're WHAT?! I said, It's just a brow waxing. It's no big deal."
Van Allen, who's heard the term "straight-gay" rather than metrosexual, also likes to cook and bake, once making a three-tiered carrot cake for a female friend's wedding.
Many women appreciate such skills, interests and tastes. It gives them more to bond over with male friends, partners and relatives.
And it may help turn their heads.
"I think that's at least 50 percent of the motivation for men," says Michael Flocker, author of the upcoming "The Metrosexual Guide to Style: A Handbook for the Modern Man." "Straight men are no longer lumbering around in a unibrow and a trench coat."
Flocker, 39, says there is no one metrosexual style. "You can look 100 different ways and still fit into this category," said Flocker, a features editor for AOL Time Warner.
For the would-be metrosexual, Flocker first recommends high-quality underwear and socks, a good haircut, and getting rid of excess ear or nostril hair. But he also urges men to choose what they like and not to succumb to brand worship.
He sums up the benefits of metrosexuality with this equation: if a woman meets two men of similar integrity, kindness and interests, but one is stylish and the other has a "mullet, crusty toes and bad BO," which would she choose?
Case closed.
Beyond raunch
Marian Salzman, chief strategy officer at Euro RSCG Worldwide, an advertising and marketing agency, says several things are changing. Men want advertisements and products to speak to their intellect and emotions. "No more raunchy, laddy stuff," Salzman wrote in an e-mail while on vacation. "It's about being respected for their minds before their bodies and sports prowess."
In a survey of 510 male respondents by Euro RSCG, 49 percent said there's nothing wrong with a facial or a manicure.
As a culture, Salzman adds: "We are more comfortable than ever before with everything gay; 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,' is just a symptom of a sea change in acceptance that gay men and straight men can be friends, can share and can learn from one another."
Another survey by research firm Mintel International found that 90 percent of American men say it's fine to go to a spa or salon. About a third say they've bought more grooming products in the past five years.
They also found that new shaving, skin care, hair care and deodorant products aimed at men have doubled in each of the past two years and are on pace to do the same in 2003.
Among the newer high-end lines are Zihr, Nickel, Anthony, and John Allan's, joining established ones such as Decléor, Babor and Kiehl's.
Sometimes, making men comfortable means using a mite of camouflage. At Gene Juarez Salons & Spas, women get a "spa" manicure, while men receive a "sports" manicure; it's the same service. A package including a massage, manicure and Swiss shower is called the "executive retreat," rather than female-oriented packages such as "pure bliss."
At the Bellevue location of Gene Juarez, where there is a separate men's salon, men now make up 27 percent of the hair-cutting business.
Linda Green, director of the company's nail department, says men are paying more attention to looks and grooming because presentation matters in the business world.
Some men who have quietly been using women's products at home are coming out of the product closet. There are also more unisex products that couples can share.
Often, women introduce men or further their metrosexual ways.
Michelle Barghalame, who recently left a job as a sales associate at Barneys New York, a metrosexual haven, says men often tell her, "My wife told me to come here."
Most men do prefer to keep it simple, Barghalame, 24, said, opting for a nice cleanser, moisturizer and shaving cream, but skipping the mask, eye cream and other extras.
And, if there's a little or a lot of vanity involved, so be it. Men say female vanity's been around forever; why can't it be their turn too?
"Women have known for a long time that the right haircut and the right shoes can not only change the way she feels about herself, but also how others look at her," says Flocker, the author.
Jamming the gaydar
Metrosexuals can be an is-he-or-isn't-he? mystery for gay men. Some like a cloud of ambiguity hovering over them like an intriguing, but unplaceable perfume.
"I like attention. I want that," says Terry Jones, who works at Mario's, favors Ernemegildo Zegna suits, and does not wear jeans or shorts, ever.
Jones, who is straight, grew up in Brooklyn, where his style imprint came from his grandfather and the natty neighborhood pimps.
A metrosexual who favors classic style and takes fashion cues from Prince Charles, Jones loves women. And he says they love him too. But, he doesn't mind if a gay man finds him stylish and debonair.
Some gay men appreciate such attention to style. "You're starting to see more straight guys looking like gay guys," says Valentino Romero, an assistant manager at Barneys, who is gay. "It's good for guys to know that it's OK to moisturize. It's not going to make you less masculine."
Others say it can be confusing.
"Oh honey, it's jammed the gaydar," said David Johnson, a hair stylist at Obadiah, who is gay.
"Seattle metrosexuals need to wear pins saying, 'I'm straight, I'm metrosexual and I'm proud.' They should have a metrosexual pride day too," Johnson said, half tongue-in-cheek, half wishfully.
For the straight male, it can be liberating to no longer be assumed to be gay. "Believe me, I've fought that a lot," says Jeff Bergman, a married Seattle man who enjoys Italian cashmere, ballet, fine linens and collecting ceramics.
He felt isolated as a 12-year-old in cooking class and as an 18-year-old with season opera tickets.
"It's OK to be aware of the finer things in life and not be attached with some sort of label," said Bergman, 42, a specialty food buyer.
That goes for the word metrosexual, which Bergman can live without. While such men often love labels of clothes and products, many run from the "metrosexual" label like it's a case of herpes.
The shelf life of the term is anyone's guess.
Where, after all, are the lines of metrosexualdom drawn? If you like Verdi and import cases of Burgundy, but dislike facials and manicures, are you a metrosexual? Or if you favor Bruno Magli shoes and pedicures, but your idea of haute cuisine is McDonald's, what then?
If the current generation of men is leaning metrosexual, marketers are no doubt salivating about the coming one.
Neil Stockman, 29, of Des Moines, learned about style from his girlfriend, Delsa Dislers. She showed him the joys of $100 Diesel jeans, suede and Kenneth Cole shoes after years spent in shorts, baseball caps and flip flops.
Now her sons are picking up those ways. The older one, Dylan, uses gel or pomade to style his hair and wears cologne. He is 11.
"He's already wrapped up in the whole look," said Stockman. "He spends as much time in front of the mirror and is as into name brands and fancy clothes as I am."
You got it exactly. I'm certain that MadAve types love this sort of guy, no doubt they dump huge amounts of money on crap that they can't even sell at a garage sale!
I stick with the Preppie look; one can't go wrong by wearing the same clothes your granddad wore. The secret is to concentrate on classic American looks, natural fibers and materials, top-quality stitching, and lots of woodsy plaids and country-club pinstripes. Silkscreened T-shirts, polyester garments, flared pants, and other trendy swish-of-the moment styles are for teenagers and the Queer Eye patrol. One should always dress appropriately for one's age; nothing's more embarassing than seeing a grown man who ought to know better slouching around in public in kids' clothes.
Buying clothes isn't difficult if one follows a few simple rules.
First rule: you get what you pay for. Although not all expensive clothes are quality clothes, all quality clothing is going to be somewhat more expensive than clothing of lesser quality due to differences in materials and workmanship. Over time, a thifty man will develop a feel for which labels represent a good quality/value balance and which are overpriced junk; the idea is to buy the best clothing available at less-than-retail prices. (A good rule of thumb is “Think Yiddish, Dress British”.) In my own experience, I've found that good-quality clothing can be had from Ralph Lauren (i.e. Polo), L.L. Bean, Réne Lacoste (the “alligator shirt” people -- no longer affiliated with Izod, by the way), Burberry, Brooks Bros.,Harrod's, and the Neiman-Marcus' Men's Shop, among others. These are all reliable sources of classic, masculine apparel.
Rule Two: Shop by internet or mail-order catalog whenever possible. Most stores that carry men's furnishings are located in malls or similar environs and will almost certainly be full of slack-jawed yokels, gum-snapping/hair-tossing teenage girls, guys with their pants around their knees, and clucking mother hens. These nightmarish situations are to be avoided at all costs. If you must buy from a physical store, avoid endlessly preening in front of mirrors or stripping to your skivvies in dubious dressing rooms; instead, know your sizes (write them down!), go straight to what you want, buy the items with a minimum of fuss, and try the garments on at home. If an individual garment doesn't fit, look, or feel right, take or ship it back and exchange it.
Rule Three: Dress Yourself. It is your duty as a man to know which clothes are appropriate for your age, body type, and pattern of activity. Feel free to accept advice from the shopkeeper and/or your wife, but allow no one to decide for you what you will wear; you're a big boy.
Rule Four: Steer Clear of Trendy/Casual Crap. At all costs avoid the “fashion” sections of department stores and trendy joints like Structure, The Gap, Banana Republic, and other mall-type retailers -- all they sell is cheap crap, lo-ryder gang pants, homo-riffic club clothing, and other junk fit only for teenagers and degenerates. One should also avoid “workin’-class” stores like Wal-Mart and other discount chains -- their clothes are almost always shoddy, ill-fitting imported junk meant for the Trailer Park / NASCAR set. (No offense to manufactured-housing residents or stock car racing fans.) If one needs cheap everyday-type clothing, the Army-Navy store is an excellent source of quality goods -- especially for winter clothes, work clothes, and hats. Goodwill and Salvation army thrift stores, yard sales, and rummage sales are also good places to look for good clothing at unbelieveable prices -- a bit of careful shopping can net you great deals, like the pair of London Fog trenchcoats (retail price: $60-$100 each!) my wife found for me at a church jumble sale for $2 apiece.
Rule Five: Remember Your Head and Feet. Want to look like Michael Moore? Wear the same grubby sneakers, wrinkled chinos, rumpled plaid flannel work shirts, mustard/kraut-stained logo t-shirts, and Cubs ballcap as he does and you will. (Forget to shave or shave badly to complete the picture.) Want to look like '60s-era Sean Connery? Wear shoes and hats that are clean and are appropriate for your age and the clothes you're wearing them with. The point? Your top and bottom extremeties need clothing too; all the quality threads in the world won't do one a bit of good if one wears the wrong hat and shoes with them. (Tennis shoes are for the gym; wear leather shoes for everyday use, boots for yardwork, and dress shoes with a suit. Never wear oxfords, brogues or other lace-up dress shoes with white or black tie; patent leather opera pumps are the only correct shoes with a tuxedo.) In short: a real man wears the correct shoes and hat for the occasion. (And never wears a foam hat, a tam o'shanter, or a backwards baseball cap.)
Good clothes and good grooming are a natural part of the life of a gentleman, but there's a world of difference between a well-dressed, well-groomed man and what in German might be called ein parfumetier Schwöller (a “perfumed pansy”). A Real Man wants to dress handsomely and appropriately for his age, station, and activity, but never seeks to be “on display” or otherwise “fabulous”.
Screw metrosexuality, foppishness, and dandyism. The 1955 Highland Park Texas look (i.e. classic Ivy League prep) is handsome and manly and won't look stupid a decade from now. The secret of looking good is not to follow fashion but to stay neat, clean, and buy the best-made, best-fitting, most conservative clothes you can at the lowest price available.
"You beatht! Oh damn, now I've broken a nail..."
Obviously their barbies. These poor guys most likely had soccer moms listening to feminists tell them to buy their sons feminine toys ---- they're confused --- half gay.
You mean you don't have a magical closet? I have a magical closet. Old clothes vanish into the void, and new clothes appear. Every man should be so lucky.
Rule Five: Remember Your Head and Feet. Want to look like Michael Moore? Wear the same grubby sneakers, wrinkled chinos, rumpled plaid flannel work shirts, mustard/kraut-stained logo t-shirts, and Cubs ballcap as he does and you will. (Forget to shave or shave badly to complete the picture.) Want to look like '60s-era Sean Connery? Wear shoes and hats that are clean and are appropriate for your age and the clothes you're wearing them with. The point? Your top and bottom extremeties need clothing too; all the quality threads in the world won't do one a bit of good if one wears the wrong hat and shoes with them. (Tennis shoes are for the gym; wear leather shoes for everyday use, boots for yardwork, and dress shoes with a suit. Never wear oxfords, brogues or other lace-up dress shoes with white or black tie; patent leather opera pumps are the only correct shoes with a tuxedo.) In short: a real man wears the correct shoes and hat for the occasion. (And never wears a foam hat, a tam o'shanter, or a backwards baseball cap.)
Absolutely. Head and feet are important. Engineer boots should be worn for everyday activities. Steel toe is preferable, but if you're not very active, or ride a moped, soft-toe is ok. White Reeboks are ok at the gym AS LONG as the other guys see you put your boots in the locker. Under no circumstances are pumps acceptable.
I won't be caught dead without a do-rag. Flames for casual BBQ's, solid colors for nights out on the town and leather for formal wear. Occassionaly a skull cap or speed sock can used in lieu of a do-rag, but trendiness comes with a price and RUB's are pansies. The best thing about the do-rag is that the pump wearing pansy knows you're going to beat the **** out of him if he complains.
As soon as we solve your pump problem, I'll help you understand when it's proper to wear a chain belt (At club when you can't carry a gun or a knife), and which hand to hold the belt in, and which hand to hold the knife.
Lol, now watch someone take this too seriously.
One of the greatest benefits of my weight loss program this year is that I can now buy normal looking clothes and not that overpriced and atrocious looking junk from the Big & Tall shops that I was forced to frequent before. When you go from a size 50 waist to a size 36, your options multiply tremendously. I happily threw all my old clothes away during the summer and once I get to my target size (34), I'm buying all good quality stuff. In fact, I'm heading to L.L. Bean online to get some of my fall clothing shortly.
Only if the shopping is for guns, and the stylish stuff is camo.
enjoys monthly trips to Ummelina International Day Spa downtown for a manicure, massage, facial or brow waxing
A facial? Brow waxing? WTF?
Every 2 1/2 weeks, Ima spends $60, before tip, on a haircut.
That's nice. I pay about 1/6 that. Does the job just fine for me.
His fiancee, Lana Juric, says sometimes he takes longer to get ready than she does. His clothes take up more closet space than hers.
I think Jonny here may be batting for the other team, regardless of what is said.
In a survey of 510 male respondents by Euro RSCG, 49 percent said there's nothing wrong with a facial or a manicure.
That's Euro....not here.
Linda Green, director of the company's nail department, says men are paying more attention to looks and grooming because presentation matters in the business world.
I don't have to turn into a "Lyle"(Saturday Night Live) to be presentable.
Metrosexuals can be an is-he-or-isn't-he? mystery for gay men
Now that's a suprise.../sarcasm
He spends as much time in front of the mirror and is as into name brands and fancy clothes as I am."
That's just wrong. ROFL.
See? Not taken seriously at all!
Why would anyone think a guy with gelled and styled hair, the latest fruity printed fashions (some in pastels), 250 pairs of shoes, a manicure and a preoccupation with his butt as effeminate? < /sarcasm >
What a Mary.
Sorry. He's friends with liberals and child rapists, so he's off my list.
WTF? That prof must bat for the other team.
Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie ODonnell .....
With folks here making contingency arrangements, I guess Ill put my ballot in your hat. This is assuming, obviously, that you know how to clean a female sturgeon, butcher a deer, and well, maybe a few other things. You dont by chance have your own boat do you?
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