Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Le Grande Admiral Jean de Kerry Orders Full Speed Ahead!
johnny7 | 9-2-03 | johnny7

Posted on 09/02/2003 2:26:46 PM PDT by Pubbie

As the claxons sounded and fires raged above and below decks, Admiral John Forbes Kerry boarded his slow, once invincible battlewagon. Oblivious to the groans of rupturing boilers and a 15º list to starboard, the Admiral orders “Full speed ahead and prepare to engage the enemy!” to an astonished crew.

Kerry had worked all night on a battle plan that befuddled even his most ardent advisors. At first, He boldly played cat-and-mouse with the “Super Dreadnought” Dean but then retired back to Nantucket harbor to “refuel“ and do some windsurfing. Most officers called for aggressive tactics while Kerry chose caution, fearing that harsh attacks would alienate the new voters the “Super Dreadnought” Dean has attracted to the Democratic Party. Kerry dismissed his officers concerns saying that "The Super Dreadnought” would not attack unless we engaged him. In fact, he pooh-poohed reports that the Dean battlefleet had mined Nantucket harbor and were “mooning” their battlewagon!

Officers who spoke on conditions of anonymity said that Kerrys approach to sea battle was based on his river patrol experience in Vietnam. Some have said that he has overloaded his ship with the lavish amenities of a life-long patrician hack. In anycase, Kerry now scans over his rope-fouled decks awash in burning fuel oil and orders full speed ahead. A move that will surely break the vessels keel and send it to the bottom.

As Kerry proceeds in his folly, the DNC Sea Lords are now closely scrutinizing his every move. The “Super Dreadnought” Dean must be sunk at all costs and they banked on Kerry to do the job for them. But the “Super-Super Dreadnought”, Hillary, is nearing completion and hopes are high for her triumphant launch. No matter what fate has in store for Kerry, you can bet the farm that his dress whites will be freshly pressed with razor-sharp creases.

“I have not yet begun to fight! Damn the torpedoes! Which way to The Vineyard!”


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: 2004; dean; elections; howarddean; jfk; johnfkerry; johnforbeskerry; johnkerry; kerry; kerrykickoff

1 posted on 09/02/2003 2:26:47 PM PDT by Pubbie
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: johnny7
You did good work kid.
2 posted on 09/02/2003 2:27:26 PM PDT by Pubbie (Bill Owens for Prez and Jeb as VP in '08.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Pubbie; msdrby
ROFLOL
3 posted on 09/02/2003 2:29:36 PM PDT by Prof Engineer (HHD - Blast it Jim. I'm an Engineer, not a walking dictionary.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Prof Engineer
Just to clarify I did NOT write this - johnny7 did.
4 posted on 09/02/2003 2:31:59 PM PDT by Pubbie (Bill Owens for Prez and Jeb as VP in '08.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Pubbie
Of course, "Frenchie" Kerry would not see the irony of opening his campaign in from of a DECOMMISSIONED warship.

What a tool!

Ketsup Regards,

5 posted on 09/02/2003 2:33:08 PM PDT by Jimmy Valentine (DemocRATS - when they speak, they lie; when they are silent, they are stealing the American Dream)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Jimmy Valentine
from=front (geeze!) And how do you spell ketsup catsup WTF anyway?
6 posted on 09/02/2003 2:34:16 PM PDT by Jimmy Valentine (DemocRATS - when they speak, they lie; when they are silent, they are stealing the American Dream)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Pubbie
Hey, you used my name in vain : )

Keep up the good work.
7 posted on 09/02/2003 3:18:25 PM PDT by LeGrande
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Pubbie
ROFLOL...GREAT stuff!
8 posted on 09/02/2003 3:21:55 PM PDT by cake_crumb (UN Resolutions = Very Expensive, Very SCRATCHY Toilet Paper)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Pubbie
I hear he announced his candidacy today...I missed it. Do you suppose he mentioned that he's a Vietnam vet?
9 posted on 09/02/2003 3:23:39 PM PDT by cake_crumb (UN Resolutions = Very Expensive, Very SCRATCHY Toilet Paper)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: cake_crumb
I'm sure he did, but I didn't see it either.
10 posted on 09/02/2003 3:29:08 PM PDT by Pubbie (Bill Owens for Prez and Jeb as VP in '08.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: Pubbie
HMS Dreadnought

By the way, did you know that Kerry served in the military?

11 posted on 09/02/2003 3:32:04 PM PDT by governsleastgovernsbest (Did I mention that Kerry served on the front lines?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Jimmy Valentine
"Of course, "Frenchie" Kerry would not see the irony of opening his campaign in from of a DECOMMISSIONED warship."

Pardon my ignorance, but I don't get it. I thought he had announced WEEKS ago. If he only just announced TODAY, what was he doing all summer long while he was one of hte Nine...testing the waters??

12 posted on 09/02/2003 3:36:01 PM PDT by cake_crumb (UN Resolutions = Very Expensive, Very SCRATCHY Toilet Paper)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Pubbie
"I'm sure he did, but I didn't see it either."

I don't think we were missing anything.

13 posted on 09/02/2003 3:37:39 PM PDT by cake_crumb (UN Resolutions = Very Expensive, Very SCRATCHY Toilet Paper)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: cake_crumb
Kerry was in Viet Nam? Wow! He should mention that more.

From Yahoo! News...

At his announcement, Kerry was joined by crew members of a Navy gunboat he commanded in Vietnam, where he won a Silver Star, Bronze Star and three Purple Hearts. Introducing Kerry was former Sen. Max Cleland (news, bio, voting record) of Georgia, who lost both legs and an arm in Vietnam combat. It is all part of Kerry's core argument that his military experience gives him unique credibility among the nine Democratic contenders to confront Bush on national security issues.

14 posted on 09/02/2003 3:56:01 PM PDT by socal_parrot (New and improved.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: cake_crumb
No we didn't.

:)
15 posted on 09/02/2003 3:57:06 PM PDT by Pubbie (Bill Owens for Prez and Jeb as VP in '08.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: Pubbie
As the claxons sounded and fires raged above and below decks, Admiral John Forbes Kerry boarded his slow, once invincible battlewagon. Oblivious

Oh!

Sorry. I thought that was the name of his "once invincible battlewagon", not the start of a new sentence.

16 posted on 09/02/2003 4:08:34 PM PDT by woofer
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: socal_parrot
"At his announcement, Kerry was joined by crew members of a Navy gunboat he commanded in Vietnam, where he won a Silver Star, Bronze Star and three Purple Hearts"

WOW, who would have known??

On a more serious note, is he still pretending to have thrown THOSE MEDALS over the fence in protest of the Vietnem war, or did he drop that part of his act?

It's a darned shame that Kerry found a maimed vet to act as his stooge, even though he testified to Congress about non-existant, daily comitted war crimes.

"It is all part of Kerry's core argument that his military experience gives him unique credibility among the nine Democratic contenders to confront Bush on national security issues"

Yeah...lead from the back, save your own a$$, lie and cheat. How unique.

17 posted on 09/02/2003 4:30:55 PM PDT by cake_crumb (UN Resolutions = Very Expensive, Very SCRATCHY Toilet Paper)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: cake_crumb
When are the Republicans going to get off of their a$$e$ and fight back against the lies being spewed by the Democrat bastards?

Case in point, Kerry said that Bush went into Iraq for Oil. This lying sack of $hit voted in favor of the war.

When is someone going to come out and ask him point blank " Mr. Kerry, are you accusing us of going into Iraq to Steal the Oil? If not, then please clarify your charge".

These pubbies are ball-less.


18 posted on 09/02/2003 7:24:23 PM PDT by NYC Republican
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: cake_crumb
To be perfectly honest, I have no idea. My sense is that he has no idea either.

Regards,

19 posted on 09/04/2003 4:29:11 AM PDT by Jimmy Valentine (DemocRATS - when they speak, they lie; when they are silent, they are stealing the American Dream)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson