Ask not what telemarketers can do to you

Miami Herald ^ | 8/31/03 | Dave Barry

[Slings and Arrows]

There's just over a year to go before the 2004 presidential election, and everybody in the nation is extremely excited. Except of course the public. The public, shrewdly, pays no attention to presidential politics until all of the peripheral dorks have been weeded out, and it's finally time to make a selection between the two main dorks left over.

So what does the public care about right now? Telemarketers. The public hates them. It hates them even more than it hates France, low-flow toilets or ''customer service.''

[Slings and Arrows]

From later in the column:

I'm sure you have a better idea for how we can resolve our differences with the telemarketing industry. If you do, call me. No, wait, I have a better idea: Call the American Teleservices Association, toll-free, at [number deleted to avoid zot, but it's in the column], and tell them what you think.

It's time to play...

[Graybeard58]

I haven't had a telemarketer call since my wife and I went wireless about a year ago. this may not be the answer for everyone but it works for me.
Now I am working on all the junk snail mail I get.Mostly wanting to loan me money or get one of their credit cards. I get two or three of them almost every day. For some time now I have been opening them and sealing the "Business Reply Mail" envelope and sending it back to them empty. They have to pay the postage and they also have to pay someone to open those blank envelopes I send them. I save up about a months worth then drop them in the mail box.
My little contribution won't effect them, I know. I need some help with this project folks!

[petuniasevan]

Well, I do much the same thing. But some CC companies have gotten wise and the return envelope has a unique ID number on it.

If you still get those unwanted AOL disks (don't we all) in your snailmail, there's a site which has been collecting them for a couple of years now. They want to drop off a MILLION of the disks at AOL HQ.

Here's their site: http://www.nomoreaolcds.com/

[lmr]

Yeah, Americans are so annoyed by virtually anything. We have actually created government bureaucracies to 'protect' us from these minor nuisances. After dealing with the public day-in and day-out at my job, I can tell you that people who complain are more annoying than the things they complain about. It doesn't take much to piss someone off these days, even when it's their fault.

[Still Thinking]

Well, I do much the same thing. But some CC companies have gotten wise and the return envelope has a unique ID number on it.

So? What are they going to do about it? Refuse to send you any more junk mail? Oh, my, what WILL you do? </distressed damsel voice>

[Still Thinking]

Actually, what I like to do is save up all the junk mail applications, and send them back to the WRONG PEOPLE (unfilled out and unsigned, of course). I also enjoy when someone with whom I DO have an account sends advertising junk mail for unrelated products in the statement envelope. I send this stuff back with the payment in the payment envelope (or to some other annoying junk mailer) on the theory that if they think I would enjoy receiving this stuff, they must like getting it themselves.

[upchuck]

Well, I do much the same thing. But some CC companies have gotten wise and the return envelope has a unique ID number on it.

I just cut the ID off and return it.

I save my junk mail and the postage paid envelopes from the cc companies. When the junk mail stack get to be about an inch tall, I take one of the pp envlopes, tape it to a 9x12 envelope, shove all the junk mail in the envelope and drop it in a mailbox. Sometimes I can get 3-4 pounds worth of junk.

I've been told by the PO that they deliver this stuff and charge the cc for the extra postage.

Like you, I know this doesn't hurt them much but it's the principle.

I have thought about simplyfing this and just taping the pp envelope to a brick and mailing that. :)

[lmr]

I just throw all my junk mail in the trash. That'll show 'em!

[Still Thinking]

Send them the Sunday paper after you're through with it.

[Billthedrill]

They base this claim on Article VX, Section iii, row 5, seat 2, of the U.S. Constitution, which states: ''If anybody ever invents the telephone, Congress shall pass no law prohibiting salespeople from using it to interrupt dinner.''

I looked it up. They got us. Dang it.

[nutmeg]

bump

[ETERNAL WARMING]

Warning:

Telemarketers using contests to get around no-call registry Denver Post August 18, 2003 Vicky Lio


Cases where telemarketers have tricked consumers into giving their phone numbers by filling out sweepstakes or contest cards have popped up nationwide since the national no-call list was established.

But the Colorado attorney general's office said it is not yet a problem statewide.

"We've heard that Boulder and Pitkin counties have received complaints, but so far, we haven't," said Ken Lane, spokesman for the attorney general's office.

Colorado has had a no-call list for more than a year. The national list will take effect in October, which has companies that make money selling goods and services over the telephone rushing to find loopholes in the new rule.

The law allows companies that have a "prior business relationship" with a customer to continue to market to them over the telephone. Some telemarketing firms have attempted to establish that type of relationship by getting people to sign up for a free product, or to enter a sweepstakes.

The Federal Trade Commission is expected to issue guidelines on legal ways to obtain consumer phone numbers.

"It's not illegal for these companies to ask permission to call you. But permission granted through trickery doesn't seem valid," Lane said.

He said the penalties for these violators would likely be similar to the fines levied against companies that violate the no-call rule.

Until the FTC's guidelines are established, though, consumers should be careful when giving out information, because when a company says it has permission to call, it's difficult to prove that it doesn't.

"And even if you are willing to receive calls from one particular company, the telemarketer may be representing 12 other companies that may also try to contact you," Lane said.

In Boulder and Pitkin counties, residents complained that they received postcards in the mail that offered them a free 12-pack of soda if they returned the card.

"I was in Boulder ..., speaking to a group of retirees, who brought the problem to my attention," said Cynthia Taylor, director of the Consumer Division of the Boulder County district attorney's office.

The bottom of the postcard read, "By completing this form, you agree that sponsors and co-sponsors of this offer may telephone you, even if your number is found on a do-not-call registry or list."

"The print was so fine that this man could not read it," Taylor said.

Another resident said they found similar language on a drawing for free merchandise in the mall, she said.

Similar complaints have been filed in other states.

[nutmeg]

If you still get those unwanted AOL disks (don't we all) in your snailmail, there's a site which has been collecting them for a couple of years now. They want to drop off a MILLION of the disks at AOL HQ.

LOL, I love it! Darn, now I wish I had saved all those stupid AOL CDs I tossed out.

[D-fendr]

I haven't had a telemarketer call since my wife and I went wireless about a year ago.

Sorry to be the one to break the news to you, but wireless spam is coming soon to a phone near you.

[Let's Roll]

And speaking of low-flow toilets ... yes, we do hate them. And since everyone flushes them 2-3 times to get the results they want, what ... is ... the ... friggin' ... point?!

[FixitGuy]

"If you still get those unwanted AOL disks (don't we all) in your snailmail, there's a site which has been collecting them for a couple of years now. They want to drop off a MILLION of the disks at AOL HQ."

I have a farmer friend who glues two cd's on a piece of 1/4" plywood shaped like an owls head.

Says it scares the crap out of crows and other birds.

Evolution (bad word to use on this site!) will probably win out and later generations of these birds will probably think it's their momma!

[discostu]

Because of the way cellphones are billed cold calls to them are illegal, they used to hit cellphones too.

Best thing to deal with junk snail mail is a trash can on your path from door to box. You were going out there one way or the other, just throw it out on the way back inside.

[Lion in Winter]

My friend's delightfully funny daughter works for a very large mobile phone company in what they call "customer care".

She tells me that the maddest folks are those who run up HUGE bills using a mobile phone and then realizing that "TALK AIN'T CHEAP".... call up a customer care rep. and cuss a blue streak while the Customer care rep. just sits there quietly and lets them RANT ON.

She says it is so hilarious when they don't hear anybody on the other end and say, " ARE YOU STILL THERE?"

Then, she says with a VERY cheery voice, " NOW, what can I do for you?"

She said it drives them crazy and most times they just hang up because they have made such a fool of themselves!! hahhaha

[Graybeard58]

I have had a cell phone for almost 15 years and haven't received any yet. Another person wrote to me to tell me that it's illegal for them to call cell phones.
The best thing I ever did phone wise was to completely dump land line service about a year ago.

[July 4th]

I find the best thing to do is not send those things back empty, but to jam everything that came in their letter back inside. Including the used envelope. Just clip off the part with your address. If you're lucky, you'll cost them more than they were expecting to pay from the SASE.