Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

The Selfish Child
San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 8/31/03 | Robert Shaw

Posted on 08/31/2003 9:20:30 AM PDT by I_Love_My_Husband

Edited on 04/13/2004 2:43:30 AM PDT by Jim Robinson. [history]

Child and family psychiatrist Robert Shaw says he wrote the latest book in the child-care advice genre because he had to. After the teen shootings at Columbine, he asked himself, "How would you have to raise your kids for them to do this?" His answer lay in the past three decades of books on child rearing. Although he admits there have been some stellar examples lately - Carol Eagle's "All That She Can Be: Helping Your Daughter Maintain her Self- Esteem," Michael Gurian's "The Good Son" and Audrey Ricker and Carolyn Crowder's "Backtalk: Four Steps To Ending Rude Behavior in Your Kids" - the majority have pushed a child-centric view that elevates the child to head of the household.


(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Front Page News; News/Current Events; Philosophy; US: California
KEYWORDS: bookreview; child; children; education; itsforthechildren; parenting; schools; selfesteem; selfishchildren
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-56 next last

1 posted on 08/31/2003 9:20:31 AM PDT by I_Love_My_Husband
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: MeeknMing
general interest ping

long article but interesting
2 posted on 08/31/2003 9:26:18 AM PDT by I_Love_My_Husband
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: I_Love_My_Husband
Very interesting, thanks for posting this. It's about time someone wrote this book.
3 posted on 08/31/2003 9:31:45 AM PDT by jocon307
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: I_Love_My_Husband
bkmk
4 posted on 08/31/2003 9:32:18 AM PDT by riri
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: I_Love_My_Husband
Shaw admits to a nagging fear of being "lynched in his hometown": Berkeley

What's amazing is nowhere does he mention creating a new government program or raising taxes. He must live in Berkeley because as a psychiatrist that's where his customers are.

5 posted on 08/31/2003 9:33:39 AM PDT by Reeses
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: netmilsmom
ping
6 posted on 08/31/2003 9:34:39 AM PDT by Fraulein (TCB)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: I_Love_My_Husband
Shaw's book, "The Epidemic: The Rot of American Culture, Absentee and Permissive Parenting, and the Resultant Plague of Joyless, Selfish Children,"

Wow. I may have to buy this book.

7 posted on 08/31/2003 9:38:17 AM PDT by independentmind
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: I_Love_My_Husband
Thanks !

8 posted on 08/31/2003 9:39:15 AM PDT by MeekOneGOP (Check out the Texas Chicken D 'RATS!: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/keyword/Redistricting)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: I_Love_My_Husband
Fascinating. Thanks for posting this.
9 posted on 08/31/2003 9:40:17 AM PDT by EggsAckley (......Thank you for not excerpting.......[unless it's required].......~</;o))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: I_Love_My_Husband; Alamo-Girl; onyx; SpookBrat; Republican Wildcat; Howlin; Fred Mertz; ...

Please let me know if you want ON or OFF my General Interest ping list!. . .don't be shy.

10 posted on 08/31/2003 9:41:02 AM PDT by MeekOneGOP (Check out the Texas Chicken D 'RATS!: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/keyword/Redistricting)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: I_Love_My_Husband
Bump for later.

Looks very interesting

11 posted on 08/31/2003 9:41:26 AM PDT by don-o
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: I_Love_My_Husband
Can you go to stores, restaurants or libraries without seeing these joyless children screaming, throwing food or pulling packages or books off shelves?

I see this almost everytime I go shopping or to certain restaurants; usually, the parents' solution is to buy the child something.

12 posted on 08/31/2003 9:43:14 AM PDT by independentmind
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: I_Love_My_Husband
My son was in daycare and then private school all his life. He was well-behaved and a good student in prvate school. He now has a good job and a wife who he met in private school.

At this late date, though, he complains about not having spent enough time with me as a child. His private school did have a lot of hoemwork, so a lot of our time together was spent working on that rather than fun activities.

Although he didn't act out after the terrible twos, I wonder now if my own boredom with the public schools as a child caused me to want something for him that he didn't really want. He is very athletic, and maybe he would have been happier with more sports and a shallower education. His sporting events away from school created transportation problems, so that if I was tied up he had to take a cab. In public school, he could have just got on the after-school bus like the band members and athletes did when I was a kid. Also in retrospect, he might have preferred the larger crowds n public school. I just assumed that, like me, he would tire of waiting for the slower students to keep up.

I think is a strange outcome of wanting something for your child that you wanted for yourself. He definitely was a privileged child, bu still he wanted more.

13 posted on 08/31/2003 9:44:49 AM PDT by angry elephant
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: I_Love_My_Husband
My son was in daycare and then private school all his life. He was well-behaved and a good student in prvate school. He now has a good job and a wife who he met in private school.

At this late date, though, he complains about not having spent enough time with me as a child. His private school did have a lot of hoemwork, so a lot of our time together was spent working on that rather than fun activities.

Although he didn't act out after the terrible twos, I wonder now if my own boredom with the public schools as a child caused me to want something for him that he didn't really want. He is very athletic, and maybe he would have been happier with more sports and a shallower education. His sporting events away from school created transportation problems, so that if I was tied up he had to take a cab. In public school, he could have just got on the after-school bus like the band members and athletes did when I was a kid. Also in retrospect, he might have preferred the larger crowds n public school. I just assumed that, like me, he would tire of waiting for the slower students to keep up.

I think is a strange outcome of wanting something for your child that you wanted for yourself. He definitely was a privileged child, bu still he wanted more.

14 posted on 08/31/2003 9:44:57 AM PDT by angry elephant
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: I_Love_My_Husband
BUMP
15 posted on 08/31/2003 9:51:27 AM PDT by GrandMoM ("What is impossible with men is possible with GOD -Luke 18:27)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: I_Love_My_Husband
Great article - worth the long read. How many of us know children like he describes? Can think of 8-9 myself which is sad.
16 posted on 08/31/2003 9:56:08 AM PDT by Gerish
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: All
btt
17 posted on 08/31/2003 10:00:58 AM PDT by Johnbalaya
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Fraulein
Thanks for the ping!
I got really beat up on the last thread (in fact they are still doing it!) so I won't comment on this one.

But you know how I feel!!!!
18 posted on 08/31/2003 10:03:21 AM PDT by netmilsmom (Hand me my smelling salts.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

Comment #19 Removed by Moderator

To: I_Love_My_Husband
"Palatable labels ranging from "high-energy" to "hyperactive" to "temperamental" to "oppositional" are bandied about like personality traits that must be tolerated."

Ummm..."personality traits" such as those mentioned were NOT tolerated when I grew up! After a nasty bout of 'oppositional' or 'temperamental', I found myself wanting to just stand up rather than sit...for about a week, usually. My mama's 'medicine' was stout stuff.
20 posted on 08/31/2003 10:20:52 AM PDT by Maria S ("..I think the Americans are serious. Bush is not like Clinton. I think this is the end" Uday H.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-56 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson