These are our rules girls. Deal With it!!

Unknown | 8-28-03 | Man's Mind

[WKB]

Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up; you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports.
It's like the full moon, PMS or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is considered blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

[January24th]

Girls, just be yourself, and F*** what men think about it.

[Lazamataz]

17 month headaches = she doesn't find your snotty attitute and round shape attractive. Now, go back to the couch and watch your football game because that's the only action you're going to see for a very long time.

Yes, and this woman once stood in front of a sign that said "Lips that touch liquor will never touch mine."

[Pukin Dog]

See there? Selma never had to lose any weight. I got you!

[Fidgit]

ping

[Mamzelle]

re: Never understood this point. I don't need it up. I can guarantee range and accuracy to such a degree that I can use it either way. There can a slight dispersion issue but that is much more a problem for the next person than for me.)))

*snicker*

Gals, don't worry. Soon he'll be sitting, anyway. It's either that, or he'll fall down asleep from how long it takes...

[Lazamataz]

1) Jewelry 2) Foot Rubs 3) Chocolate

1) No. 2) No. 3) Maybe.

Need more questions.

[honeygrl]

Yeah, well I have had 2 kids. How many has she had? And I got back to my pre-pregnancy weight after each one.

[SuziQ]

Especially if the guy snores...

Or the wife...

Hey! I resemble that remark! LOL!!

[dpa5923]

Amen. I saw a list like this before and it had Don't cut your hair. as one of the items. I e-mailed it to my wife and bolded that "rule". My wife has let her hair grow ever since then.

[justshe]

You tagline tells me you know of what you speak. A bit of DD going on here?

[najida]

1) No. 2) No. 3) Maybe.

Need more questions.
______

Why do I have to do all the work?

[Lazamataz]

Why do I have to do all the work?

Cuz you are the woman. WO MAN. Like "WHOA, man. Shut up and do all the work."

You have to be on top, too. I don't even like to work when I do that.

[najida]

Why do I have to do all the work?
Cuz you are the woman. WO MAN. Like "WHOA, man. Shut up and do all the work."

You have to be on top, too. I don't even like to work when I do that.
_____

figures.

[Porterville]

Lesbian lies have screwed up their heads.

[Lazamataz]

figures.

(self-satisfied, happy smile)

[Hatteras]

"I guess that makes it easier for him to make it up each morning."

Women may call him a saint. Men will have another name for him...

[honeygrl]

LOL

[mtbopfuyn]

Yeah, but she was waving the ax around because she was sick and tired of picking up his dirty socks and trying to wash the skid marks out of his drawers.

[Pukin Dog]

I dont know how many kids she has, but she does have a couple of puppies.

[najida]

Women may call him a saint. Men will have another name for him...

Getting Lucky.