These are our rules girls. Deal With it!!

Unknown | 8-28-03 | Man's Mind

[WKB]

Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up; you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports.
It's like the full moon, PMS or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is considered blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

[Lazamataz]

[honeygrl]

hmm... so what obedience school did he go to.. ? I've been married 6yrs too. no backrubs, no clean dishes.. I must be doing something wrong.

Girls: Any of your guys do this stuff?

[honeygrl]

I AM NOT FAT!!!!!!!!

*sniff* Laz, Pukin is being mean to me.

[xsmommy]

do you have any kids?

[Lazamataz]

She needs to go on a diet, Laz.

[Pukin Dog]

Gettin' there.

[Pukin Dog]

jus' wanted to see how many freeper gals would give me their measurments.

Fatty.

[SuziQ]

Heh, heh. Got this in an e-mail from a girl-friend last week. Sir SuziQ LOVED it!!

[najida]

Dear lord woman!

Does your husband have a brother??

[Lazamataz]

Yeah right.. like you would fall asleep if anyone was there to touch you...

Does touching myself count?

[junkyarddawg]

Look at her profile. Not fat.


and when you look at her (honeygrl) profile just know that her children look just like their nana. maternal side

[xsmommy]

i've been married 18 years and xshub does A LOT. he gets the kids up, fed and delivered to school in the AM, so that i can go into work early. i leave in time to pick them up in the afternoons. we share the daytoday household chores pretty evenly, i would say.

[Phantom Lord]

I have yet to run or empty the dishwasher - he does it sometime while I'm sleeping.

My wife couldnt find the kitchen if her life depended on it. My rule is "I cook, you clean." I will go away on golf vacations and she will complain she had to cook herself food. I ask her what she made and she will say "I heated up a can of soup." I reply, "Thats not cooking!"

Each morning he wakes me with coffee on the nightstand

Wouldn't it be the "morningstand" at that point?

He really does make up the bed each day and folds it down for me every night.

I never make the bed. Why should I make the bed when it is just going to get messed up later? So its pretty and looks good? Whose going to see it? Are mystery visitors perusing the house while we are out?

He thinks jewelry is a good investment!

Jewelry is a mans way of apologizing when he screws up. Normally a forced apology.

[Prolifeconservative]

Absolutely hilarious!!!!Yet True!!!!!

thanks for the post

[WKB]

Let's see some wedding pictures to go along with this.

[mtbopfuyn]

17 month headaches = she doesn't find your snotty attitute and round shape attractive. Now, go back to the couch and watch your football game because that's the only action you're going to see for a very long time.

[Lazamataz]

1) Stockings. Garters. Heels. Any questions?

[honeygrl]

lol Well, I'm not ashamed of my measurements, I just don't know what they are. My pic is on my profile page and I've lost a little weight since the pic was taken.

[najida]

1) Jewelry 2) Foot Rubs 3) Chocolate

Need more answers?

[honeygrl]

ROFL!!!