These are our rules girls. Deal With it!!

Unknown | 8-28-03 | Man's Mind

[WKB]

Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up; you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports.
It's like the full moon, PMS or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is considered blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

[Phantom Lord]

My tagline is lyrics from the Metallica song "Harvester of Sorrow"

[magslinger]

I like saturday's, too. I stay up late friday night, FReeping, reading or whatever because my work week begins saturday night and I need to take a nap in the afternoon. During the school year it's the only guarenteed time Mrs. magslinger and both miss magslinger's have all together. Enjoy saturdays while you can. Next year Miss #1 Magslinger is off to college. It's not been so long since I held #1 with her head cradled in my left elbow, her feet in my left hand.

[laker_dad]

Looks like she enjoys warm beer...

[gopheraj]

"not sweating the small stuff..."

Exactly!! (going on 36 years married and happily too)

[Hatteras]

"I have yet to run or empty the dishwasher - he does it sometime while I'm sleeping. I leave the pots from supper on the stove at night; when I get up they are magically cleaned and put away. Each morning he wakes me with coffee on the nightstand. He really does make up the bed each day and folds it down for me every night. He thinks jewelry is a good investment! He is a gift from God."

He's fixin' to leave.

[Lazamataz]

Yeah, but she was waving the ax around because she was sick and tired of picking up his dirty socks and trying to wash the skid marks out of his drawers.

Women know what they are getting into when they marry us.

BTW, that reminds me: The other day, when I went to the doctors office, the doctor asked me to give a urine sample, a stool sample, a semen sample, and a blood sample.

I responded, "Doc, I'm in a hurry. Can I just leave my underwear?"

[PleaseNoMore]

"WHOA, man. Shut up and do all the work."

I don't think so, lol. Although I assure my husband that he IS the head of the house I also remind him that I am the neck. Where the neck turns the head HAS to follow.

[Lazamataz]

I don't think so, lol. Although I assure my husband that he IS the head of the house I also remind him that I am the neck. Where the neck turns the head HAS to follow.

*I* would counter with, "Ah, but if the neck is chopped, the head is free to go where it will."

But then again I am such a smarta**.

[magslinger]

a guy just like Dad was the choice for two of us

I know what you mean. The similarities between Mother magslinger and Mrs magslinger SCARE me.

[honeygrl]

Or maybe making up for the guilty conscience of having a woman on the side.. (i should hide now from the flames)

[honeygrl]

My hubby definitely didn't marry someone like his mother. She's a better housewife AND a liberal.

[mtbopfuyn]

Can I just leave my underwear?

Oooh, that's just bad! Really bad!

[Quilla]

He's fixin' to leave.

I'm nearly as good a shot as he is, he's too scared to leave. :)

[PleaseNoMore]

Honeygrl, I feel ya on that one. My hubby's mom is a much better housewife than I am. When the hubby even opens his mouth to make a comparison I tell him that he can go back to mommy too.

[PleaseNoMore]

"*I* would counter with, "Ah, but if the neck is chopped, the head is free to go where it will." "

He wouldn't dare. Besides, I am such a lovely neck and he couldn't find another to put up with him.

[N3WBI3]

Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

Yea but he was going to India and ended up near Flordia..

[2Jedismom]

Ohhh...that is so sweet!!

That was another time when the couch came in handy...when our babies were still nursing. I'd hear a baby start whimpering and making noise (rarely did they actually start crying) and hubby would amble out of bed, go get the baby, give him to me, pick up his book and amble to the couch. I don't believe any of us lost more that 2 minutes of sleep. Baby hardly even woke up.

[justshe]

Re: hubs and their Moms.

It is truly a milestone when YOU have your hubs longer than his Mom did. I threw a small party!

[honeygrl]

My hubby wouldn't dare compare me out loud to his mom. I just know she's a better housewife from visiting her and his dad.

[Tuscaloosa Goldfinch]

I married a saint, too, but it's a HUGE favor if he rubs my back. I have to pay $$ to go to the chiropractor or massage therapist when my back/neck/shoulder gets in a bad way. When he complains about his back or neck hurting, and I offer to give him a massage, he turns me down flat. Doesn't want anyone touching him when he's not feeling well, so he doesn't understand why anyone would WANT a backrub.

We sleep in a small bed as well, and he snores, but I've gotten used to it -- if I fall asleep before he gets cranked up, I never hear him. If he falls asleep first, then I just elbow him until I go to sleep.

BTW, I think this rules list was posted about 2 months ago here.