Posted on 08/20/2003 2:13:41 AM PDT by Radix
Folks, be sure to update your virus definitions and get the latest critical updates for your computer.
How about a p.s.?
"p.s. in appreciation for you thoughtfulness in sending your letter, I have added a touch of essence to this letter....please scratch-n-sniff"
Thanks for the reminder. "We" will check on these tonight.
Here's one that won't fit in the allocated space, but too good to not use!
"I tried to get a job at Office Depot. I didn't need the money.
I just wanted to steal from a company that would never run out of office supplies."
Good Idea! The energy boost will help for another 3 miles.
| Discovered on: August 18, 2003 |
| Last Updated on: August 20, 2003 04:03:26 AM |
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So would JATO bottles, but that doesn't make it a good idea! LOL!!! 
free dixie,sw
Thanks, it's great to be here! I'm trying to stop into the canteen more frequently, but you know how it is-- school-kids-church-school-kids-church-school-kids-church-school-kids-church-school-kids-church-school-kids-church-school-kids-church-school-kids-church...
A police recruit was asked during an exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"
He said, "Call for backup."
A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping." (yea cute kid)
Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
A small child replied "They couldn't get a baby sitter."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?"
Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness, & today is the happiest day of her life."
The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black??????
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!"
While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!"
A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, Idon't want them to take me out when I'm dead.
I need to borrow one of those for my next ergo test.. :-)
HAPPY WEDNESDAY TROOPS AND CANTEEN!
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