Posted on 08/19/2003 7:43:04 AM PDT by bedolido
Last week I wrote about death and funerals. I thought the column was extremely funny and it seemed -- based on the responses I received via E-mail -- that most of you did too. But there was a small minority of people who, although they also agreed that the column was funny, admonished me to "Stick to politics!"
Sorry, but I can't oblige.
I love discussing, reading and ruminating over politics and all its related disciplines in a way that's hard for those far less passionate about the subject to fathom. However, one thing I don't like to do is obsess over any subject, politics included. It's one of the reasons that I became a conservative in the first place. Conservatives didn't come across as obsessive or as a bunch of worrywarts. They seemed to know how to put aside the serious stuff every now and again and kick it back live with their buds.
Liberals didn't.
Ronald Reagan and Jimmy Carter come to mind as examples of my point. Reagan's face beamed with optimism and cheerfulness. You could tell by looking at him that Reagan was having a good time. He wasn't going to obsess over little old somethings like double-digit inflation, long gas lines or 20 percent interest rates.
Carter was the direct opposite. He always seemed to be scowling, as if his Preparation H hadn't kicked in yet. Of course you'd look that way too if the double-digit inflation, long gas lines and 20 percent interest rates that Reagan later tamed were caused by many of the policies you and your party championed.
And that's not to mention the Soviet Union's invasion of Afghanistan (which, now that I think about, turned out to be a good thing. The Afghans waxed Ivan's rear) and let's not forget the Iranian hostage crisis.
To some, Carter's obsession may have been understandable. Not to me, though, because if I had been in charge of the nation's nuclear arsenal then I could have found plenty of ways to blow off a little steam. Easily.
It was clear that Reagan loved being president.
Carter looked as if he wished he was anywhere else but the White House.
Reagan cracked jokes about attacking the Soviet Union.
A cracked rabbit attacked Carter.
Reagan gave us "Morning in America."
Carter gave us the "Misery Index."
Reagan rode off into the sunset.
The sun set on Carter.
Don't be too hard on Carter, though. He couldn't help himself. He was a liberal. And like I said earlier, liberals have an inability to enjoy life and all its large and small pleasures. While the rest of us are sleeping contentedly at night, liberals pace their bedroom floors wringing their hands or knitting their brows over something as dubious and distance as the polar ice caps melting 10,000 years from now.
In my mind, subjects like a thaw in the Arctic and Antarctic is someone else's (who'll be born about 40,000 generations from now) problem. Let them figure it out. It doesn't concern me. I've got enough to fret about, like whether the Dallas Cowboys are going to make the playoffs this year.
But liberals can't do that. It doesn't matter how large or small, everything is a great worry for them. That's too obsessive for me.
You could be sitting at Wrigley Field when Sammy Sosa hits a tape-measure grand slam in the bottom of the 9th inning of the seventh game to finally win the World Series for the long-suffering Chicago Cubs. The ball could land in your lap -- with great big dollar signs on it! - and two seconds later Bill Gates steps up and buys the ball from you with a check that could pay off the national debt.
Do you think your liberal friend will be happy for you? Maybe even do the perfectly natural thing and hit you up for a loan or at the least insist that you pay for the drinks and dinner later?
Of course not. They'd be conservatives if they did.
Instead, the little libs that they are will start obsessing over the "unfairness of capitalism and say in their moaning, whiny voices:
"But what about all the poor people who couldn't afford to attend the game? What chance did they have to catch the ball? And why does one person need so much money when others have to do without. How fair is that?" It would be enough to make you wish that you had bounced the billion-dollar ball off their overly compassionate, obsessive liberal heads instead of unloading it on Gates.
I have a lot of liberal friends (how could I not, being black and working in the media), so I know of what I speak when I say that liberals are genetically incapable of really enjoying themselves.
Unfortunately, I detect that a growing number of conservatives are beginning to exhibit symptoms of the same obsessive genetic disorder.
Every day I scan the headlines on the Web and I'm crestfallen (ooh -- I love that word) by what I read. It's too pessimistic and obsessive for me, as if it was the Democrats who held the presidency and both houses of Congress instead of the Republicans.
Sure, I know the deficit is growing and federal spending is skyrocketing, but could you imagine how things would be if the Democrats were in complete control? It would be a disaster. They'd be funding everything from a study on the mating habits of the Lithuanian cross-dressing bumblebee to why dogs bark instead of mew (Because they can? You think?).
And beside, so what if the Republicans end up spending the nation into bankruptcy. It wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing. It would be a chance to start over again with a clean slate. No more welfare state. Everybody has to start from scratch. If the Russians after 70-plus years of hard-core communism could do it (and they have a flat tax now), so can we. We have more to work with, plus, as conservatives, we're all armed.
I think I know what the problem is with conservatives these days. Too many on our side are obsessing over what liberals are thinking, saying and doing to the point that we are failing to get our message across. Please excuse my language but -- screw the liberals.
As conservatives we should take the attitude that General Grant (a great conservative Republican president and no obsessive he) had at the height of the Battle of the Wilderness against Confederate General Robert E. Lee. The battle hung in the balance and his subordinates were all running around in a tizzy and panic (like liberals) when Gen. Grant piped up:
"I am heartily tired of hearing about what Lee is going to do. Some of you always seem to think he is suddenly going to turn a double somersault and land in our rear and on both of our flanks at the same time. Go back to your commands, and try to think about what we are going to do instead of wondering what Lee is going to do." Those are great marching orders for conservative. Forget what the liberals are going to do because if the mess in California is any indication (and it is), it's going to be a complete disaster any way. Let's spend more of your time concentrating on spreading the word that life is good and none more so than when one is allowed to live it on their own terms. That's the true essence and appeal of conservatism.
To comment on this article or express your opinion directly to the author, you are invited to e-mail Perry at pdrake4153@cs.com .
If left alone, Parcells could rebuild this team to it's glory days.
Don't forget UBL -- but, as conservatives, we should have fun doing it -- and even more fun determining what to do with 'em once we find them. My bid: Put UBL in Times Square with his hands and legs duct-taped and let the fine citizenry of NYC extract retribution.
As for Hussein, same deal but in the center of Bagdad -- line up the families of the throusands killed by his regime and give each one a baseball bat and one whack.
If you want on (or off) of my black conservative ping list, please let me know via FREEPmail. (And no, you don't have to be black to be on the list!)
Extra warning: this is a high-volume ping list.
This is my attitude toward the problems in Kalifornia.
Unfortunately, on a national level, there are some possible scenarios that are far too unpleasant to encourage.
One example of a nation collapsing is Germany after World War I. Not long after the time that a wheel barrow of cash wouldn't buy a loaf of bread, Hitler rose to power.
Ignorant people will always find someone like Hitler who promises them a rosy future under the guise of National Socialism ( Nazism ) and the fight against it cost many tens of millions of lives. I don't see how a collapsing US would be replaced by something better without the passage of much time and the experiencing of much pain.
Relax, Perry. ....They won't.
If left alone, they may get to the playoffs, but Parcells will let all the good assistant coaches go elsewhere, then leave in the middle of the night, while colluding to take a few of their good players with him. Whatever he does, he'll leave Dallas high and dry.
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