[gitmo]

How sweet it is!

[John Jorsett]

I heard an interview with him. He said that during the telemarketer convention, he looked out his hotel room window in the middle of the night and saw a video store that the cops were searching because the burglar alarm had gone off. He looked the store's phone number up in the phone book and called it. When a cop picked up, he said, "Dude! Get out now, there's cops all over the place!" Funny stuff.

[Servant of the Nine]

I'm ordering one today

The shotgunning of the carolers is priceless.

So9

[Slings and Arrows]

Ping!

[capt. norm]

If you ever get a chance, listen to the one where a telemarketer selling funeral plots calls him and Mabe tell the telemarketer that he was thinking about commiting suicide and that he viewed the call as a sign from God to go ahead and do it.

From there on, the poor telemarketer goes back-pedalling trying to talk him out of it.

[Salman]

I did something similar once. A telemarketer called and asked for Mrs Salman. There is no Mrs Salman. I put the phone down without hanging up and put on my best Arab accent. Then I started shouting "Who is this MAN who keeps calling you?" repeating it louder each time. Then I made slapping sounds accompanied by high pitched screams.

When I picked up the phone again there was no one there.

[DeFault User]

Another fellow from Texas does the same sort of thing. He got a carpet cleaning service sales rep going, asking whether their process would remove blood. "Oh, yes sir."
--Can you take it off the walls and ceilings too?

More questions/answers followed. Soon the sales rep was convinced he was talking to a mass murderer.

He did it again with a funeral home asking whether he could get a cheap funeral for his grandma. The reply was $1200. He pressed the rep to give him installments, $100 per month or such. No deal. He then told the rep they would just have to keep her in the freezer like they had for the past 10 days until they found a funeral home that would take payments on the installment plan.

[glock rocks]

Tom Mabe takes the carpet cleaner call...

[Dutchgirl]

Looking over the other posts and ltip.

[dixiechick2000]

This is right up your alley.

[Sofa King]

If I ever got one of those calls, I think I'd try to sell HIM something.

[redheadtoo]

My father had a telamarketer tell him that he had won a prize. My father said, "Thank you," and hung up. The flustered telemarker called back to say, "Sir, I'm not finished yet!"

[cake_crumb]

When telemarkers became a problem, hubby would frequently insist on answering the phone wherever we were.

I remember two of his best: one simple one where he answered the phone "Hello, (your region here) Police barracks, may I help you" - which usually left them sputtering and apologizing - and the "House of Sex, what would you like, big boy..." which also left them sputtering and apologizing.

[TrappedInLiberalHell]

Check out this page: How to Have Fun with a Telemarketer.

[Tribune7]

Temple Owl knows how to handle telemarketers

[Tennessee_Bob]

Had one call one evening - young woman by the sound of her voice - I let her go on and on about the product. She stopped and asked "Well, sir, what do you think?"

I answered "I'm completely naked - what are you wearing?"

It was silent for about five seconds, and then she hung up.

[AngrySpud]

Before the "do not call" list, I seemed to have found the solution. When called by a telemarketer who asked if Mrs. So-and-so was home, I would pause for about ten seconds and then reply, "She passed away last week." The caller would stumble and apologize. And it would be months before another telemarketer, from ANY company, called again.

I'm convinced that my name or her name was manually struck from a master list of "callees". And we were no longer bothered ... at least until the next computer-generated list came out.

[NotJustAnotherPrettyFace]

Orders for this CD can be placed through Tom Mabe's website (no I don't work for him or anyone in his family ;-):

TomMabe.com