Behold the abominations Canadian sperm has wrought in the past:
Posted on 08/14/2003 10:26:31 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows
Roll up your sleeves, guys, and perform your patriotic duty. A national shortage of Canadian semen is stirring a call to arms.
Sperm bank inventories have drastically dwindled since Health Canada imposed a new set of stringent donor-testing requirements last March.
In desperation, infertile Canadian women are looking south to meet their fertility needs and becoming impregnated with an abundant supply of donated American sperm.
The regulations were imposed retroactively, forcing clinics to subject former donors to additional testing to preserve existing supplies. It proved a near impossible feat.
Consequently, years of sperm collections have either been destroyed or quarantined in the hope they will eventually be approved for use pending the development of new diagnostic tests.
The implementation of stricter Health Canada guidelines was hastened when a woman contracted chlamydia from a donor sample. The move forced the closure of 47 of the country's estimated 57 labs which collect and screen semen.
The Canadian shortage has been further aggravated by a diminishing supply of suitable donors - especially in smaller centres, says Dr. Roger Pierson, past president of the Canadian Fertility and Andrology Society.
"The pool of men willing to donate has been declining for quite a while," says the Saskatchewan-based doctor. "Donors are paid between $20 to $40 per sample. We don't buy sperm - the men are simply compensated for their time, parking and the hassles they go through."
The motive is altruistic, not financial. New Health Canada regulations mean potential donors face a strict battery of tests to ensure their seed is up to scratch.
They're exposed to substantial blood testing and a urine sample must be left with every donation to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases, explains Pierson. Dr. Alfonso del Valle, director of Repromed Ltd., says 90% of would-be donors are spurned.
"There are very rigid perimeters in place," he explains. "Men are rejected on the basis of either their social history or the quality of sperm. During the past five years, there has been a decline in sperm counts and motility."
Contrary to the paltry sums paid to Canadian donors, Americans earn between $75 and $125 per sample, he adds.
"That's not compensation, it's practically a salary," laments del Valle, who disagrees with the abrupt way Health Canada imposed new regulations, calling it "an overreaction."
But Andrew Swift, a spokesman for Health Canada, defends the procedure. "I'm sure the Canadian public would prefer that we err on the side of caution," he says, adding 100 sperm banks remain open.
Pierson disputes the figure, saying it refers to agents who distribute, process or import semen, not recruitment sites.
Meanwhile, Canada's loss is America's gain.
David Towles, public relations director of Georgia-based Xytex Corporation, says his firm's Canada-bound shipments climbed an additional 10% to 15% last March. "Today, one-third of our shipments are going to Canada."
Nationalistic requests for Canadian sperm can be accommodated through Xytex,s Toronto office. Semen is collected then shipped to the company's Georgia headquarters where it's quarantined for six months then sent back to Canada.
"We began recruiting in Toronto last November," Towles says. "Those samples should become available by mid summer then supplies should increase on a monthly basis." Few women have raised the concern of nationality, he adds. "People are more concerned with ethnicity."
Towles notes sperm collected throughout the United States fits the Canadian ethnic mould nicely.
Towles dismisses concerns expressed by some Canadian labs that U.S. sperm isn't subjected to rigorous testing. "The Food and Drug Administration has proposed regulations which will soon be in effect," says Towles. "Although they won't be quite as rigorous as Canada's, they include urine testing for chlamydia and cultures."
Is that the same as carrot waxers, or chicken chokers? Remember, never let your meatloaf.
Behold the abominations Canadian sperm has wrought in the past:
ROFLMAO..........
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