[minor49er]

Here's my usual definitely-not-as-feeble-as-tomkow's attempt at humor for today:

The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over.

20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?

17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.

16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.

15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

14. Bad cop. No donut.

13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?

12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops?

10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

9. I pay your salary

8. So uh, you on the take or what?

7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.

6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.

4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.

3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.

1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

[SouthernHawk]

LOL!!! Good Job! You're right. That was certainly not a "feeble" attempt!!

[tomkow6]

For our Canteen WAFFLE Specialist, MR. Radix,
Catch 

Pancakes on Wednesdays

WAFFLES ON WEDNESDAY!

WAFFLES ON WEDNESDAY!

WAFFLES ON WEDNESDAY!

 

[Fawnn]

Speaking of things not to say to a cop, here are the ones I wrote back in 1998 -- back when you were still young enough to be swaddled in a burka:

Top 5 Things NOT to Say to a Cop

5. Couldn't pass the postal exam, eh?

4. Will you puh-lease get that light out of my eyes???

3. That isn't how you spell wreckless.

2. Excuse me! Did I ask for your opinion?

1. Here look! My gun's bigger than yours!

(I worked as a "sworn-at" PD employee -- as opposed to an officer who is a "sworn-in" PD employee -- for 10 years; my on-the-job list of things not to say would be different. ;) )

[Kathy in Alaska]

Good morning, minor. Good list of what NOT to tell a policeman.