Posted on 08/01/2003 9:35:06 AM PDT by VU4G10
I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan:
1) The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. We will promise never to "interfere" again.
2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No more sneaking through holes in the fence.
3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.
4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 day visits unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself, don't hide here. Asylum would not ever be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers.
5) No "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home, baby.
6) The US will make a strong effort to become self sufficient energy wise. This will include developing non-polluting sources of energy, but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.
7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else.
8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere". They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides, most of what we give them gets "lost" or is taken by their army. The people who need it most get very little, anyway.
9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, it would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens. 9b) Use the buildings as replacement for the twin towers.
10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer.
Now, ain't that a winner of a plan?
"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'"
--Robin Williams
About 7 or 8 of these make sense.
I think it was George Carlin...
I highly doubt it.
I thought I was going stark raving mad.
Origins: We don't yet know who is responsible for the piece quoted above, but it definitely wasn't actor-comedian Robin Williams (of Mork & Mindy fame). This item's debut appears to have been a 20 March 2003 posting to the USENET newsgroup alt.motorcycles.harley, and from there it was rapidly disseminated via e-mail and blogs, credited to either "author unknown" or no one at all. The Robin Williams attribution wasn't tacked on until several weeks later, apparently because along the way someone appended a genuine Robin Williams quote to the list as an eleventh item:
"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'" - Robin Williams.
Obviously the Robin Williams attribution for the final item was interpreted as applying to the list as a whole, so now the entire piece is making the rounds as 'the Robin Williams plan.'
Oh, I don't know--just anyone slightly concerned with accuracy, I suppose. ;)
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