Vanessa Bryant shouldn’t stand by her man

MSNBC News ^ | July 23, 2003 | Bill Williamson

[af_vet_1981]

Kobe’s wife a victim of her husband’s mistakes </h3

COMMENTARY By Bill Williamson NBCSPORTS.COM CONTRIBUTOR

Kobe Bean Bryant may have victimized two young women. Whether he victimized the 19-year-old former cheerleader and current hotel worker in the pristine mountains of Colorado will eventually be flushed out.

Kobe case puts spotlight on Colorado town The Kobe Bryant case has turned the spotlight on Eagle, a small Colorado town in the middle of a national case. NBC’s Jim Avila reports.

Colo. DA Mark Hurlbert on Kobe Bryant case District Attorney Mark Hurlbert discusses what he can in the Kobe Bryant case with “Today” host Katie Couric.

Charles Barkley talks about Kobe’s troubles Charles Barkley talks about Kobe’s troubles.

Bryant’s future in question

Lakers star Kobe Bryant faces pressure over sexual assault charges in Colorado. He has admitted to committing adultery, but says the sex was consensual NBC’s Jim Avila reports.

Bryant’s charge spells trouble for NBA? Kobe Bryant’s problems contribute to the NBA’s “bad boy” image. NBC’s Don Lemon reports.

Kobe Bryant charged with sexual assault Eagle County District Attorney Mark Hurlbert announced that his office charged Los Angeles Lakers’ Kobe Bryant with the sexual assault of a 19-year-old Colorado woman.

HOWEVER, THE JURY is already in on one count. He has made a victim of 21-year-old Vanessa Bryant. You know, the young woman he calls his “backbone.” The young woman Bryant calls “special.”

Vanessa Bryant, Kobe’s wife, became his victim June 30 when he and his alleged assault victim where in his hotel room together in Eagle County, Colo. The hotel employee has said that Bryant sexually assaulted her. Local prosecutors believe her, and charged the Lakers star with a felony charge Friday. Bryant now admits that there was sexual contact between he and his accuser. That will obviously be his defense: It was consensual sex between two adults. So at the every least Vanessa Bryant is a victim, having been cheated on by her husband, and soon to have her personal life brought to light in the middle of a serious criminal case.

Bryant charged

Of course, she is not alone. Spouses stray every day. She joins a long list.

There’s the wife of Mike Price, there’s Hillary Clinton. Wives being done wrong by their high-profile husbands is not a recent trend, nor is the fact that they stick by their men anyway. People still ask Hillary Clinton why she didn’t divorce her husband for his misgivings. Imagine what they’d be saying and thinking if her husband were brought up on felony charges as well.

That’s what’s so sad in Vanessa Bryant’s case. She has been made a fool of, and now must go along for the ride with her embattled husband. Yes, she is standing by her man. The question is why? It is not her duty. It is not her job. Yet, there she was, in her formal best Wednesday at an awards show, sitting, laughing and smiling with her husband the night he was informed charges would be filed.

Then, Friday night, Vanessa Bryant, just a couple years removed from high school, was in the world’s spotlight. There she sat next to her husband, the man who at the very least cheated on her and their infant daughter less than three weeks ago, while he began his defense in full force. He told the world he was innocent of sexual assault. She dutifully held his hand while he esssentially wrote a Hallmark card to her.

Kobe Bryant was trying to turn his felony charges of assault into a valentine to his wife. Perhaps if he spent the time in his room on the phone with his wife, instead of doing whatever he did with the hotel clerk, his career wouldn’t be in jeopardy and his marriage wouldn’t be fractured. The saddest part of Friday night’s made-for-TV event is how meek and willing to play along Vanessa Bryant appeared.

Again, adultery is going to be Bryant’s defense, so his attorneys need Vanessa to go along with it, saying she supports him. Perhaps that’s why he was on the stage, that’s why a press statement by her was released.

In it, Vanessa Bryant said her husband wasn’t a criminal. How can she be sure? If you asked her last month, it’s doubtful she’d say he was an adulterer, either. She also said he was a great person. Does she really believe that? Does she really think that the father of her infant daughter who, at the very least cheated on her, is a great person?

Perhaps she was told to say these things. Just like perhaps she was told by someone to hold her husband’s hand when he discussed disrespecting her, in front of the world.

This young woman’s world must be spinning. This can’t be the life she expected when she was swept off her feet as a high schooler by the rich and famous Laker a few years back.

Vanessa Bryant needs to get counsel from someone on this matter. And not by someone on her husband’s payroll. She doesn’t have to be part of this.

She could just leave her husband on the pure fact that he cheated on her. She doesn’t have to go along to help him get out of a legal jam. It is not in her marriage vows.

She has to realize she is a victim in this case.

Bill Williamson is a contributor to NBCSports.com.

[af_vet_1981]

Kobe Bryant is a replay of Bill Clinton with Vanessa standing in as Hillary. Power, money, and corruption: Take Two

[wideawake]

No, Kobe Bryant is a hero, a great man, a shining role model. The whole thing is just about sex.

[ken5050]

In Vanessa's case, it's called $$$$$$$$..she signed a pre-nup..but Kobe voided it for her in front of millions of people, live.....but that mariage is over......let's see, say, Kobe is worth $100 mill..the victim gets $50 mill..Vanessa gets the rest, and Kobe gets his jockstrap...

[Blzbba]

No way.

Vanessa is much hotter than Hitlery and doesn't have political aspirations.

I hope she dumps his ass.

[Mr. K]

what the heck is this dude's problem? Kobe did a bad thing (adultery) and probably would NOT have admitted it or apologized if he wasn't caught... but he was.

He is going to have to live with the pain he caused his family, and his wife has the option to stand by him and forgive him, or not... But this moron has no right to criticize EITHER decision she makes...

dumbass liberals... gotta find SOMEthing to whine about in everything, including a woman standing by her man

[ClearCase_guy]

Yes, she is standing by her man. The question is why? It is not her duty. It is not her job.

Different folks feel differently about it, but as to the question "Why?" -- maybe she sees this sorry spectacle as all part of "for better or worse".

[dead]

People still ask Hillary Clinton why she didn’t divorce her husband for his misgivings. Imagine what they’d be saying and thinking if her husband were brought up on felony charges as well.

I don’t know about “they,” but I’d be saying “It’s about freaking time!”

[Always Right]

Well there is a three-month old child involved, which is ample justification to try to hold their marriage together assuming it is a one time thing (doubtful) and wasn't rape (who knows). But this is entriely up to Vanessa and not some sports writer.

[Mr. Mojo]

She should stay with him. After all, Kobe is merely "a man like everybody else," and men sometimes make "mistakes." And because Kobe is such a wonderful guy, I'm fairly certainly that this was the first and only time he's ever cheated on her. </ sarcasm>

[najida]

I would give a million bucks to be a fly on the wall in their house these days.

Miss Vanessa may be creating a whole new definition for hell.

[laweeks]

Kobe got caught. Otherwise, his lovely wife wouldn't have found out about his adultery. If I were she, I'd dump him if for no other reason than the diseases he might bring home to their bed. It's a shame she had to go thru this nonsense in front of the world. Money's not going to do her any good if her life's shortened by his catting around.

[Evil Inc]

I wonder if she will change her stance if he is convicted and it comes out he told her a little bit of the progressive truth he is doing so far. He never adulterated that woman. Well he did her but she begged for it. Well she asked her to bruise her and rip her clothes. It could erode her faith.

[LiteKeeper]

Let me see if I have this straight - you all are advocating that the vows they took before God should be voided? That whether or not "everybody" does it, they should not honor those vows? He did something very wrong, and he needs to confess that to her, as he has, and she needs to forgive him...and they need to break the mold of "everybody" engaging in what ought to be called "drive-by marriages."

[mhking]

"For better or worse..." I can't fault her for trying to honor her vows, even though he has flaunted his.

To suggest otherwise is insulting at best.

This is truly a matter between she, her husband and God.

[ValerieUSA]

Rich, attractive, virile pro athletes are not merely admired for their prowess on the court or field, but for living the fantasy life that most men won't experience firsthand, yet thanks to the sportsworld, they believe in the possibility. Part of that fantasy includes the line, (we've all heard this) "He can have any woman he wants."

This is an impossible dream. No man gets to have any woman he wants. Any man who insists it can happen is a potential rapist himself, because he regards sex as a selfish means to reinforce his own powerful manly image. To him, a no is a threat to everything he represents, and he will not accept that, especially not from someone smaller, younger, less important and female. She becomes his opponent, and he crushes opponents.

How dare his conquest rise up later and attach herself to a greater power, the justice system, to avenge herself and publicly state that she did not want to have sex with him! She lies! Of course she wanted him! Every woman wants him.

He will show the world that even his wife whom he has betrayed still wants him, by dragging her to a press conference to stand by her man while he admits to the manly offense of consensual sex outside his marriage.

Kobe has not exhibited honor or humility or humanity in his confession of adultery. He is just rising to the next challenge, and he will again crush his opponent, with the help of his wife, sports writers, fans and men who refuse to let go of the fantasy, "He can have any woman he wants," and perversely, women who fantasize, "I am woman enough for such a man."

[Pikamax]

I agree with the article. Vanessa would be much better served standing by me...after she takes Kobe for 50%.

how the heck do you cheat on her. idiot kobe.

[dfwgator]

NBA players will only agree to marry if they know up front that their future spouse will tolerate them cheating. Kobe probably even told her that she couldn't expect him to be completely faithful. But she decided to marry the guy anyway for the money and all the perks of being Mrs. Kobe Bryant.

[Evil Inc]

Well put.

[Lizavetta]

If I were she, I'd dump him if for no other reason than the diseases he might bring home to their bed.

You know he's done this before, only this time he got caught. If nothing else, I hope she's been to her gyno.

[Tacis]

We know that Kobe got a little on the side in Colorado. The open issue is whether it was volunteered/paid for or taken by force.

While the trashing of the girl is well under weigh, no one as asked whether Kobe gets his ashes hauled on the road often. Does anyone really believe that the girl in Colorado was the first female that ever talked her way into or was invited into Kobe's quarters?

My bet is that he has done this many times before and gotten away with it. A good reporter should be checking his team's road schedule over the past several years and talking to folks in the team hotel and checking the local police blotter. Kobe has the bucks to take care of minor misunderstandings. It may be that the Colorado girl was off the beaten track and hadn't learned how the game is played.