USO Canteen FReeper Style ~ Thursday Sports Day in the Canteen ~ July 3 2003

SouthernHawk, MoJo2001 and Kathy in Alaska

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

For the freedom you enjoyed yesterday... Thank the Veterans who served in The United States Armed Forces. Looking forward to tomorrow's freedom? Support The United States Armed Forces Today!

Sports Edition USO Canteen CEO: Tonkin Editor: MoJo Proofer: Ma LINKS Please click below *FM stands for FReepmail. For our military and anyone else, please use the Contact Us link to email us. Thanks!   Sponsors Click below   The Truth About Men Click Click link and pic! Girl Power Click Learn young and be happy! Click link and pic!     Sports Photos! Just click on the picture and you'll be transported to see the full image. Thanks.

CANTEEN SPORTS CORNER   Welcome to the Canteen Sports Corner! On the left hand side, you will find the links for all the sports you would ever want. Also, many of the items in the Corner are either inspired, or can be found, by following any of the links provided. Be sure to check out our sponsors below the links. As usual, we aim to please at the Canteen Sports Corner. Please enjoy your tour and by all means share any sports stuff that you may have. Have a great day! The Canteen Sports Editors wish to thank SouthernHawk for his contribution to America, the Canteen, and for writing such a wonderful column. Thank you, SouthernHawk. GUEST SPORTS COLUMNIST NASCAR FANS “A bunch of heavy drinkers?” by SouthernHawk   The Pepsi 400 is to NASCAR as Wednesday is to the work week. It is sort of a “hump-day” in the racing season. There are 19 races before the Pepsi 400 and 19 races after it. Now, please realize that I am not a professional sports writer. After folks read this article, I may not even be a Freeper. Oh well, here it goes. There have been several occasions where I have found myself defending NASCAR fans from an accusation of being “Heavy drinkers and big eaters”. The wholesome image that I have attempted to portray is often challenged by a few “professional couch potatoes”. Generally, I am victorious (in spite of being outnumbered quite badly) in my defense of the fans. After several hard fought battles, I think I may need to reconsider. This second-guessing started when I looked at the 2003 Winston Cup Schedule posted above my desk. It looks more like a take out menu from the local restaurant then a Race Schedule. Have you ever tried to defend NASCAR fans from the “Accusers” when the very first race is named after Budweiser Beer? In fact, ten of the races on the schedule are named after drinks and food. An eleventh race also includes a food store and even goes so far as to tell you what type of car to drive to get there. This would be the “Dodge/Save Mart” race. Why would you name auto races after “Gatorade”, “Pepsi” or “Coca Cola”? Shouldn’t racing be named after companies like “Atlas Towing” or “Binford’s Tool Time Body Shop”? When you stop and think about it, food and drink are tied pretty close to NASCAR. For instance, in our house, when you walk in the front door you find yourself in a large rectangular living room. The long sides of the room are in front of and behind you. The short sides of the rectangle are on your left and right. There is a door in the back left corner that goes to the hall and the bathroom at the end. On the right is an archway that leads into the kitchen. This creates a “racetrack” in our house. The lap goes out to the kitchen, into the living room (stop for a few minutes), then at the commercial – down to the end of the hall for a “pit stop”. After your “pit stop” go back to the kitchen for a refill, return to the living room and you have completed your “lap”. The number of laps you do depends on how many commercials there are during the race. Sort of like your very own “Pepsi/Coca-Cola/Budweiser 100.” Come to think of it, I guess NASCAR fans are HEAVY DRINKERS! Watch for the next NASCAR article. "Why does Viagra sponsor a race car?" (Are NASCAR fans imp...(Watch what you are thinking!)....important? ______________________ Click below on the Nascar.com link for a special message from the drivers to our troops!   The link on the left hand side will take you directly to the front page of Nascar. Thanks!   SouthernHawk is our first of many Guest Sports Columnists. If you are interested in having your words grace this thread, please FReepmail our Canteen Sports Editor, MoJo2001. The links are provided on the left hand side. Also, please send along comments regarding this column to SouthernHawk by using the "Guest FM" or "Contact Us" links. In ancient Japan, public contests were held to see who in a town could fart the loudest and longest. Winners were awarded many prizes and received great recognition. (Tell that to your parents next time they tell you not to let one rip in public.) You might think a yo-yo is just a fun toy. But it started out as a weapon in the Philippine Islands in the 16th century. It weighed four pounds and had a 20 foot cord. It was introduced to the United States as a toy in 1929. _____________________________________ When Blue Collar workers get together, they talk about football... When Middle Management get together, they talk about tennis... When Top Management get together, they talk about golf... Logical Conclusion: The higher up you are in management, the smaller your balls are. (Click here for the link!) ________________________________ Sports Quotes   "Don't cut off your nose yourself." Casey Stengel, famed manager of the NY Yankees and Mets   "Gil Hodges is so strong he could snap your ear brows off." Casey Stengel, famed manager of the NY Yankees and Mets "If I wasn't talking, I wouldn't know what to say." NY Islanders goaltender Chico Resch "Lead us in a few words of silent prayer." ex-Houston Oiler and Florida State coach Bill Peterson "They gave me a standing observation." ex-Houston Oiler and Florida State coach Bill Peterson "Half this game is ninety percent mental." Danny Ozark, manager of the Philadelphia Phillies "Now Juantorena opens his legs-and really shows his class." David Coleman, broadcaster at the 1976 Montreal Olympics "I love sports. Whenever I can, I always watch the Detroit Tigers on radio." President Gerald Ford "They throw Winfield out at second and he's safe." Padres announcer Jerry Coleman "I called the doctor and he told me that the contraptions were an hour apart." Mackey Sasser, NY Mets catcher, on his wife's labor "We have only one person to blame, and that's each other." Barry Beck, NY Rangers on who started a brawl during the NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs "We are experiencing audio technicalities." Ralph Kliner, announcer for the NY Mets "Mike Andrews' limits are limitless." Danny Ozark, manager of the Philadelphia Phillies, about one of his players "I usually take a two-hour nap, from one o'clock to four." Yogi Berra, explaining what he does before night games   Charles Barkeley: "Of course I'm important. You wouldn't ask me such a stupid question if I wasn't." ASK MA Welcome to Ask Ma! This is where you can interact with Ma and ask her life's most important questions. This is especially true if you are an athlete, coach, or wannabe. If you happen to have a stressful life and need to tell someone, ask Ma! _____________________________________ Dear Ma,   What can someone like myself do to support our troops? Is there anything that a rich, good looking, available, and hardworking young man can do for such heroes? Please let me know. Sincerely, A Humble Athlete _________________________________________ Dear Humble Athlete, Stop The Presses! Is there such a thing as a humble athlete?  If so, then I should stop writing "Ask Ma" columns. Each week I wade through the letters of malcontents and ego driven athletes. Today I am stunned that someone has actually taken Ma's advice and written. Thank you. Mankind might be useful after all. Let's see. I will have to think about what you can do for our troops. First, please show support for our troops. If you happen to see an egotistical athlete claiming that "WAR IS BAD" please knock them upside the head. No one truly jumps up and down for wars except for Geraldo Rivera. He's the only one. Remind them that the person most likely to wish there was no war would be a soldier. Not some show off athlete with little understanding in the world. This brings me to my second point. Why on Earth do athletes feel this need to speak when a microphone is around? Sometimes silence is golden. Being quiet is a difficult discipline amongst your set. Perhaps a little more humility and respect can be shown on Ma's television screen. Keep that in mind. If we don't want to hear from an athlete on world opinions or social issues, then we most certainly don't want to hear from their mamas or relatives. (Are you hearing me, Mrs. Iverson?) Honestly, if your child is a moron than you probably are as well. We don't care what you think. We don't want to know what kind of food your child ate when he was younger. The nerve of some of these athletes family members to give parenting advice is beyond me. They are lucky to have a child gifted in athletics. We just don't want to be reminded of it every time we turn on television screen. We don't want to know. If you want to show the troops something exciting on television, how about the Hooters girls or a check with their name on it for a million dollars? That would cheer up any of our lonely soldiers. Showing your mama in some gaudy Gucci/Nike clothing combination doesn't do it for most people. Why traumatize the world with your mama's lack of taste. (Just because you have money doesn't mean you have any class, as we've seen on numerous occasions.) So? Please stop showing your mamas. Instead of buying another mansion for a mistress or buying another sports car that you won't drive, how about buying necessary items for our troops. Purchase things like eye drops, tissues, socks, reading material, or a card saying "Thank You". (Remember not to send porno as a "reading material" because we don't want to offend males from other parts of the world. Of course, they wouldn't look at naked women. Right?) A little less spending on yourselves and a little more on our troops would most certainly show some support and respect. If you think your pampered wife needs another diamond, may I suggest something else? Why not sponsor a party at a military installation for the families of our troops currently deployed. A little thank you to the family members for their sacrifice could go a long way to provide much needed morale and a boost to our brave heroes. (Free and paid by you is the only way to do it.) Posing with our troops or saying "I support the troops" is equivalent to saying "My agent thought this would be good to show the divorce judge that I'm a caring person". Don't do it! Find out where our troops are located and see if there are any organizations visiting the area. Perhaps if you are so famous, the Pentagon may allow you to go by yourself. By all means bring your friends. What else do they have to do in the off season? Spend money and cheat on you with your wife? No! Keep them busy by planning tours for our troops to see you. Most important, you shouldn't consider yourself the "star" when you visit our troops. You should see yourself as most people see you. You are a pampered and overpaid crybaby. Allow yourself to be inspired by the selflessness and courage of our brave men and women. Bring your teammates and learn the true meaning of teamwork. Bring your family to appreciate how fortunate you are to see them everyday. While you are at it, bring your heart and be prepared to be truly humbled by their sacrifices. For when you do that, you will truly become a humbled athlete. For that, we would all be truly grateful. Say your prayers and pray for our brave heroes. Ask God to shelter them from danger and to feel the love from this grateful country. Don't waste His time asking whether or not your wife will find out about another Bimbo. He has better things to do. So do our troops. Ever useful, Ma

[SouthernHawk]

I know it. She is great!

Like many of us on this thread, her blood runs RED, WHITE and BLUE.

[tomkow6]

BRATT!

[Kathy in Alaska]

Hi E.G.C.! Some more showers supposedly today, but predicted sunny and nice for the 4th of July. Are you finally dried out?

[SouthernHawk]

Good Morning Kathy!

Loved your "Humble Athlete" tyraid in "Ask MA". LOL

[Kathy in Alaska]

Good morning, fawn!

[Kathy in Alaska]

Absolutely LOVE your SouthernHawk! Thanks for the great sport column today.

Cowboy's Ten Commandments

And the cowboy got right to the point. Good one. Thanks.

[Kathy in Alaska]

Bless This House sung along with this morning,
twice because I love this song for our troops USO Canteen,
and A Prayer of Protection
said for all who enter the USO Canteen Freeper Style,
including our troops, our veterans,
their families and our allies.

Welcome to all who come to honor our troops and veterans, for whom this USO Canteen was created.

A PRAYER OF PROTECTION

The light of God surround you
The love of God enfold you
The power of God protect you
The presence of God watch over you
Wherever you are, God is,
And all is well.
Amen.

Wherever you are, God is, and all is well!

Wherever you are, Godand all is well!

[Kathy in Alaska]

Accidental, purely accidental. The couple times I actually tried, I was way late. Hehehe!

[SouthernHawk]

....Absolutely LOVE your SouthernHawk....

Only by the gracious creativity and generosity of the Goddess! She is sooooooo talented!

[Kathy in Alaska]

She is sooooooo talented!

Don't I know it!!

[E.G.C.]

Yeah, We've been dry for the last couple of days. It's going to be hot here today.

[E.G.C.]

BTTT!!!!!!

[tomkow6]

I like the way you galz "wag" your tails!

[Kathy in Alaska]

jriemer, my apologies for not thanking you yesterday. Your Virtual Fireworks Display is awesome. Some of those lightning strikes are not to be believed. I really enjoyed the thread and will go back today. Thank you for linking so all of us and any visitors can share a terrific thread.

[tomkow6]

When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher.

The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court," he smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write: 'I will not pass through a red light' five hundred times!"

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

I'm off for a full day of Coast Guard Auxiliary duties.
I'll be on base working in the Operations Office until about 4PM PST.
At 4PM or so 2 Coast Guard Auxiliary boats will be leaving Charleston (left side of map)
and proceeding to a point between H and I on the map.
We will be doing barrier patrols about 1000 ft either side of the fireworks barge.
The fireworks start at 10PM and we except to be back at the base around 1AM.

Let me take this opportunity to wish you all a safe and Happy 4th of July!
Seee you Fri AM at Camp. WOO HOO!



Fired from a barge in the bay in front of The Mill Casino Hotel,
firewords are shot off into the
night sky on the evening of July 3

[HiJinx]

Thursday, July 3 2003, a great Canteen Sports Day 'Halloo' to all our Canteeners and Lurkers today! Since we have Canteeners from Florida to Alaska and all points in between, and Lurkers from around the Globe, it's awfully hard to see all the sports events we have on tap this weekend. Hard, that is, unless you have access to 3500 satellite TV channels...or one of these babies! Yup, today our virtual tour of Arizona takes us to 3 world class astronomical (out-of-this-world) observatories with some phenomenal telescope arrays. Yessirree, with these monsters you can watch the Pepsi 400 from Afghanistan, Baghdadi soccer matches from Oklahoma, or Martian Dune Buggy races from the middle of the Pacific Ocean! Hold on to your seats, everyone, 'cause we're off!!!

Discovery Park is scheduling tours of the Mount Graham International Observatory. They are conducted on Saturdays, beginning mid-May until mid-November, or until weather prohibits them. Group arrangements can be made at any time.

The tours feature a trip up scenic Mount Graham, focusing on the mountain's rich geology, history, and diversity of life; a lunch near the summit of the mountain; and a guided tour of the present observatory facility, which consists of the Vatican Advanced Technology Telescope and the Heinrich Hertz Submillimeter Telescope. Also open to the public is the newly constructed 16-story enclosure for what will become the world's most powerful optical telescope, the Large Binocular Telescope. Telescope assembly began in June 2002 and the telescope is scheduled to be in operation in 2005.

Kitt Peak National Observatory (KPNO), part of the National Optical Astronomy Observatory (NOAO), supports the most diverse collection of astronomical observatories on Earth for nighttime optical and infrared astronomy and daytime study of the Sun. Founded in 1958, KPNO operates three major nighttime telescopes, shares site responsibilities with the National Solar Observatory and hosts the facilities of consortia which operate 19 optical telescopes and two radio telescopes. (See the Tenant Observatories list.) Kitt Peak is located 56 miles southwest of Tucson, AZ, and has a Visitor Center open daily to the public.

Star Trails appear in this time-lapse photo taken outside the entrance to the Visitor Center. The Nightly Observing Program (NOP) is a program that allows the public to see Kitt Peak at night and learn more about the night sky with access to our Visitor Center resources.

JANUARY 8, 2003; FLAGSTAFF, AZ–Astronomers have discovered a small object orbiting the sun at the distance of Neptune and have shown it to be the first Neptune Trojan.

This small body, known as 2001 QR322, leads Neptune around its orbit in such a way as to maintain, on average, approximately equal distance from Neptune and the Sun. As such, it mimics the Trojan asteroids of Jupiter which orbit the Sun in two clouds approximately 60 degrees ahead of and behind Jupiter. The first Jovian Trojan was discovered in 1906 and approximately 1,560 such objects are known today. However, until the discovery of 2001 QR322, Trojan-like objects associated with other giant planets had not been found.

JANUARY 7, 2002; FLAGSTAFF, AZ -- Astronomers today announced the details of a survey for the most massive star clusters in the universe's tiniest galaxies. The results are being presented today by Olivia Billett and Deidre Hunter of Lowell Observatory (Flagstaff, Ariz.) and Bruce Elmegreen of the IBM T. J. Watson Research Center (Yorktown Heights, NY) at the American Astronomical Society meeting in Washington, DC.

"This finding provides important insight into the processes by which the most extreme star clusters form," Deidre Hunter said. The astronomers searched 26 dwarf irregular galaxies within 23 million light-years for compact, luminous star clusters. They used images from the Hubble Space Telescope archives, as high-resolution images were necessary to distinguish between the compact clusters and foreground stars.

[SouthernHawk]

Have a safe and quiet duty day. Happy Fourth Bro.

[MoJo2001]

In a bunker somewhere in Iraq, a young soldier will spend the 4th hunkered down awaiting more sniper fire.

In rough terrain an American soldier in Afghanistan will be hunkered down looking for terrorists to fire upon.

In a Veteran's hospital located somewhere in the middle of America, a "young man" from another generation will look down and see the battle scars that are with him for the rest of his life.

In Washington D.C., decorations and planning for the big Birthday bash tomorrow will be kicked into high gear. The guests list will consists of politicians, their families, and the average American citizen.

On a military installation somewhere in America, a young man or woman will spend their first 4th of July away from home. More than likely, they will be spending the Fourth on duty while others are out celebrating.

In cemeteries around the world, the bloodshed visited upon mankind through wars will be remembered by few. Far too few.

In some social circles, America is an embarrassment to the world.

In other social circles of the world, America is the last great hope.

In many places cursed with famine, civil wars, and poverty, America is still the land of freedom and opportunity.

In places that were blessed with America's sacrifice, we are scorned, vilified, and mocked.

As we gather with our family and friends, let us not forget why America means so much to those so far away. The soldier that is desperate to come home, but stays because duty and honor are called for. The child in Africa who someday dreams of leaving a war torn and poverty stricken existence for the land of milk and honey. For it's not what we are that makes America great. It's the fact that we've managed for almost 300 years to get it right. We've had our own civil wars,  shameful human sacrifices, and public discourse. Through it all, we've managed to still be a glimmer of hope for others.

With all that, why should anyone hang their head in shame tomorrow? Lift your head high. Raise your voice. Take a few seconds to think about that young soldier, sailor, airman, or marine. Most importantly, say a hearty thank you to God for our existence. Many around the world will be saying it as well. Although, it will be said in darkness and silence.
 

[Pippin]

They all held the office of Vice President of the United States! :O) at various times.