Three Reasons to Pause Before Taking Your Husband's Name

The Wall Street Journal ^ | Thursday, June 26, 2003 | TERRI CULLEN

[presidio9]

Like the first time you hear your new husband call you "my wife," or the first time someone refers to you as "Mrs.," signing your newly acquired married name is something some women look forward to their entire lives.

But there can be drawbacks to adopting your husband's last name, particularly if your hubby-to-be comes to the marriage laden with some unfortunate financial or legal baggage. As women enter marriages later in their lives, often with more established careers and greater assets, they are facing far more complicated financial choices than their moms and grandmoms. The decision to take your husband's name -- once a given -- is one of them.

[Under the Radar]

This one needed a barf alert.

[LizardQueen]

This is the first I've heard of how someones name is causing the downfall of Western civilization. One would think there are larger issues to worry about.

LQ

[Lazamataz]

If I get married again, we will both take binary names.

Laz 1001001001011011101111010 and Kimberly 1001001001011011101111010.

[1Old Pro]

I think the wife should take the husbands name, but I'm a traditional old fashioned type of guy who thinks that homosexuals , gasp, should not marry.

[kevkrom]

NEVER, EVER, Under any circumstances trust a women with three names or a hypenated name. NEVER!

You mean like my wife? She uses the hyphenated form because she had academic publications prior to our marriage and didn't want confusion on her resume/CV. She will, however, respond quite well if someone refers to her using only my surname...

[presidio9]

Not that I have any intention of seeing it, but according to the Wall Street Journal, Drew Barrymore's "Charlie's Angels" charachter's real name is Helen Zass.

[PatrioticAmerican]

A liberal FemiNazi; fat, manless, and hairylegged. I doubt the writer is married, so the beast won't have the name thing to worry about.

[CodeJockey]

TERRI CULLEN Just marry some dude with the last name CULLEN. Problem solved.

You won't even need to get a new drivers license.

[skinkinthegrass]

Liberal Crap...again providing cover for $hrillary, from Bubba...more tactics from the $hrillary Camp @ the WSJ.. :|

[Under the Radar]

It's my understanding that only widows use their Christian names and their husband's last name with Mrs.

Married women are either Terri Cullen or Mrs. Gerald Cullen.

Good point. However, it is helpful at times to indicate that you are a "Mrs.," not a "Ms." While I would love to work professional as Mrs. James Doe, it is frowned upon at work. So I am Mrs. Jane Doe.

[Xenalyte]

Why is it frowned upon?

[Under the Radar]

A true libertarian would believe that a person can call him or herself whatever he or she desires.

[ntnychik]

I agree with you about the hyphenated, especially this one.

[jwalburg]

My mistake. It is ANN Crittenden, not Danielle. Sorry.

[jwalburg]

NO. I'm wrong. It IS DANIELLE Crittenden. You're right!

[jwalburg]

Danielle Crittenden wrote What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us, while Ann Crittenden wrote The Price of Motherhood, a similar-sounding treatise. It was the first one I was thinking of.

[Under the Radar]

Why is it frowned upon?

You want assistance from a woman who introduces herself to you as "Mrs. James Doe"? ;^)

If I were to introduce myself to you as “Jane Doe,” you might well assume that I would like to be addressed as “Jane” in our informal society. If I wish to indicate that I would like to be called "Mrs. Doe" instead, the easiest way is by using "Mrs. Jane Doe.”

However, I cannot expect anyone to address me as "Mrs." unless I give them the information from the get-go. So, in my e-mail sig and directories I am (incorrectly) "Mrs. Jane Doe," not (correctly) "Mrs. James Doe."

BTW, this applies to a lot of business settings. It is frustrating to find out that you need to e-mail "Chris Roe" but don't know if Chris is "Mr." or "Ms." Our informality is self-perpetuating.

[Xenalyte]

I'm led to understand that if a woman doesn't indicate preference (as you're doing quite nicely), it's acceptable to refer to her as Ms. Some may take umbrage, but they're usually the ones who didn't tell you Mrs. to begin with, and expect you to just know it. ;)

[Under the Radar]

I do assume the other women prefer "Ms." absent any other indication. The issue I was making above at the end of my tiny rant was that it is hard to determine sex from first names alone. So how do you refer to a stranger who is named "Chris Roe"? Mr. Roe? Ms. Roe? Just "Chris Roe"? It is impossible to be properly formal absent other information in these circumstances, which is why I would like to see us bring back titles in business settings. :)