Congressman Billybob Sez: Bits and Pieces

Congressman Billybob's website ^ | 18 June 2003 | Congressman Billybob (J. Armor, Esq.)

[Congressman Billybob]

Bits and Pieces

Lawyers on Parade: Max Factor heir Andrew Luster was captured in Mexico this week, after jumping bail during his trial for assault, rape and drug charges. He was convicted in absentia, and sentenced to 124 years in jail. Now his sleazoid lawyers have suggested that they will appeal his conviction on the grounds that the judge wrongly instructed the jurors that "fleeing can be taken as evidence of guilt."

What chutzpah. These same lawyers got the judge to lower the bail on this criminal, so he could get out on bail with "electronic surveillance." That allowed him to run to Mexico. And he left behind videotapes of him assaulting women who were unconscious, apparently due to the "date rape" drugs which he gave them. He is pond scum. So are his lawyers. The conviction will not be disturbed. End of story.

Role Reversal Needed: This week, Martha Stewart was in court on charges of lying and stock fraud, and Hillary Clinton was in stores flacking her book. Martha has been charged with more crimes than she committed – though she should have copped a plea to a minor charge right from the get-go. Hillary has never been charged with any of many worthy crimes.

It ought to be the other way around. Martha should be in the stores signing copies of her book. Hillary should be in court, answering to various charges. The whole world would be better off if that role reversal took place. ‘Nuff said.

Everybody Hates America: The BBC, otherwise known as the Baghdad Broadcasting Company, ran a TV special this week demonstrating that its editors and reporters are just as anti-American as their counterparts at PBS. In the course of their special, they reported polling results from about a dozen countries to show how much the US is disliked.

The eye-popping result was that in two nations, Jordan and Indonesia, a solid majority of locals said that "America is a greater threat to peace than Osama bin Laden." Leftist twits in the US media concluded this means we have to "pay more attention to the views of others." Helllooo? If a majority of the people in any nation conclude that the world is flat, does that mean the world is flat? Or that accommodations ought to be made just in case the world is flat? Stupid is as stupid does, even – or especially – on public opinion polls.

Iraq in Chaos? Assorted parts of the lamestream media claimed that things are going to hell in a handcart in Iraq. The Ba'ath Party "is regrouping." The society "is dysfunctional." Baghdad is a city of five million people – half the size of New York. Every death of an American soldier in Baghdad is a tragic loss. We should do what is necessary to take out the hard-liners there who are attacking our soldiers.

However, Baghdad has a long way to descend before its murder and other crime rates, and general civic failure, reach half the level of the "civilized" Big Apple. And no one has bothered to look at what happened in Berlin and Tokyo in the first year after America won World War II and occupied those large cities. The reporting in much of the lamestream media amounts to no more than "I STILL don't like the Bush Administration. Now, here are some out-of-context details to support my false thesis."

Stealing the Babylonian Truth: Related to the last story, the "stealing of the greatest treasures in the world" from the Baghdad Museum story has finally played out. It turns out that the "177,000 treasures stolen" was actually the total collection. The final total of items stolen was 33. That's right – just 33. And now the staff of that Museum have called for the resignations of the top dogs, because they were complicit in the few thefts that did occur.

One part of this story was never reported. The top dogs at the Museum are Ba'ath Party members. No surprise here – the cushy jobs in every dictatorship ALWAYS go to friends of the dictator. And what could be cushier than drawing a steady salary as head of a Museum that had been closed to the public since 1991? The world press reported breathlessly the story of the original looting, as put out by the top dogs, as if there were an ounce of truth in it. No, the main thing that was stolen was the truth.

On a Bridge Stood the Bishop of Buckingham: The title is, of course, the opening line of a particularly tacky but linguistically intricate limerick (if you don't know, I won't tell). But the subject is Catholic Bishop Thomas O'Brien of Phoenix, whose resignation was accepted like a shot by the Holy See, this week. Bishops are supposed to be shepherds of the flock of Christ. Let's review what this particular shepherd apparently did:

Just two weeks after striking a bargain with the State's Attorney so he would not be charged with respect to concealment of the habits of sexually-abusive priests in his Archdiocese, the esteemed Bishop was arrested. It seems he got tipsy (or drunk), ran down a pedestrian who later died, got home and tried to get his broken windshield replaced immediately, and then when told the police were looking for him (a bystander got his license plate number), he declined to turn himself in.

Some Bishop. Some shepherd. Some miserable excuse for a man. Another reason why the Catholic Church needs to dump its moral deadwood from all positions, as quickly as possible.

Pop Goes the Music: The cable channel VH1 announced this week the top 100 popular tunes of the last 25 years. My Close Personal Assistant, Felicity Fahrquar, looked into this subject for me, since my musical taste has been fixed on Golden Oldies ever since they were Today's Hot Hits (back in the 60s).

VH1 apparently did not have a rigorous method of choosing the hits, like AFI did on the top 100 films, and CMT did on the top 100 country music songs. However, by some unnamed assemblage of "experts" VH1 came up with these songs for one through five: "Smells Like Teen Spirit," Nirvana; "Billie Jean," Michael Jackson; "Sweet Child O' Mine," Guns N' Roses; "8 Mile - Eminem," various artists; "One," U2.

Each of these songs was a time capsule. I can say exactly what was happening in my life when each of these songs was released. Some selections I agreed with, some not; one way or another, they've provided my soundtrack. I can still hear them all in the back of my head. (That was Felicity speaking. My reaction to the list is, "This nation is finished.")

One tune on the list that I (Billybob) particularly favor, however, is "My Sharona" by The Knack that came in at 64. This is credited as "the song that killed disco." Hey, that's a good enough claim to fame for me.

Time to Skedaddle, Again? A story from a month ago may pop up again. Three dozen Democrat members of the Texas Assembly high-tailed it across the Oklahoma line and hung out there in a Holiday Inn and a Denny's, to prevent the legislature from voting on a Republican-proposed redistricting proposal for the Texas congressional delegation. That's ‘cause the Texas Constitution requires that "two-thirds" of the members be on hand for a quorum to do business. So a minority that cannot stop a bill from passing, CAN shut down the whole legislature from doing anything, which they did.

Now the Texas governor has called a Special Session of the legislature, to take up matters that got left on the cutting room floor when the legislators took a hasty powder. The Texas Rangers have the authority, under the Texas Constitution, to round up the recalcitrant legislators and haul them in cuffs back to the Capitol in Austin. Problem was, the Rangers lose their jurisdiction at the state border, and the Governor of Oklahoma (a Democrat, natch) would not herd them back across the border into Texas.

So I sincerely hope that Governor Perry of Texas has not only called the Special Session, but alerted the Rangers of the make and model of the luxury cars of the Democrat legislators and their vanity plates. I hope plans are already in the works to arrest and cuff and drag back to Austin each and every one of the Democrat legislators who decide to skedaddle out of town again. They should be corralled before they get across the border again in any direction.

Readin', Writin', and ‘Rithmatic, Military Style: National Assessment of Education Progress exams for 2002 showed some very interesting results. In the schools run by the Department of Defense, the 8th graders tested showed the following results: Black students scored an 80% level of required basic education, Hispanics scored 85%, Whites scored 92%. Those are good achievement levels, with relatively little difference between racial groups.

What are the comparable levels in public schools? The 8th graders there produced these results: Blacks scored 54%, Hispanics scored 56%, and Whites scored 83%. So all the students did worse in regular public schools, and black and Hispanic students did especially worse in public schools. Are military members better at birthing smarter students? I don't think that's the answer.

The main difference is that the "edukashun" unions don't run the Department of Defense schools. The teachers in DoD schools must actually teach, rather than just present a piece of paper that claims they can teach. And both the parents and administrators in DoD schools have the military viewpoint. Excuses don't feed the bulldog. What is the objective? Teach the students. How do you do that? Run no-nonsense, good schools. How do you know you've accomplished the objective? Test the students to see what they've learned.

All that stuff is pretty basic. It's pretty clear. And that probably explains why the lamestream media in the United States have pretty well ignored the success story of the DoD schools. Reporting that story would undercut their bias against successful reforms in American public education. Nothing screws up a "good" excuse like a solid example showing that it is so much "horse hockey," in the immortal words of Col. Henry Potter (no relation to Harry Potter, coming soon to a bookstore near you).

- 30 -

(C) 2003 Congressman Billybob. All rights reserved.

[Congressman Billybob]

This is a special to FreeRepublic. Hope y'all enjoy it.

[RAT Patrol]

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[razorback-bert]

songs for one through five: "Smells Like Teen Spirit," Nirvana; "Billie Jean," Michael Jackson; "Sweet Child O' Mine," Guns N' Roses; "8 Mile - Eminem," various artists; "One," U2.

If I were to hear one of these, I could not name it.

[eureka!]

Very nicely done CB. I always read your work. If this piece is potentially going to go to UPI, you might throw in Rummy's comments on crime in DC being worse than Bagdad--and in DC, the killers aren't after a bounty. Just a thought and thanks for all of your contributions to FR....

[Teacher317]

Max Factor heir Andrew Luster was captured in Mexico this week

Did anyone else catch MSNBC's scrolling ticker last night? It said "MAX FACTOR AIR CAPTURED".

Quality, all the way.

[Only1choice____Freedom]

Ping
Ping
Ping
each point, a ping

[wimpycat]

Good read!

BTTT

[Congressman Billybob]

Thank you -- and thanks to all who said I could write my way out of a paper bag.

Billybob

[kylaka]

I can absolutely attest that DOD, (military dependent schools) are better than public schools. After spending 3rd, 4th & 5th grade in DOD schools in Germany I returned to public schools in the US and skipped 6th and 7th grade to actually be on par with the public education systems level. I understand that this happens often to dependent children whose parents are on active military duty.

[buwaya]

I'm sorry, I misread the NAEP tables - so a minor correction is due.

The 8th grade results I gave were just for the DOD Dependent Schools Overseas.

The Department of Defense Domestic schools results are as follows for 8th Grade reading -
Black - 77
Hispanic - 89
White - 92

Not that much different, slightly lower for blacks, higher for Hispanics. I expect that the sample size used was quite low, hence the variability, because they don't even give a score for the DDESS (Domestic) for Asians due to small sample size. FWIW, DOD (overseas) Asian-Pacific Islander score is 89, vs 75 nationwide.

[mombonn]

he declined to turn himself in.

According to an earlier thread, he also fought resigning. A man truly lacking in character.

Thanks for the "special to FR." You're the best!

[Southack]

Great list, but you missed the *best* thing to happen this week.

Miami Radio 95.7's shock jocks replayed their earlier prank against Hugo Chavez of Venezuela, but this time they pretended to BE Chavez, and they pranked Fidel Castro himself.

But it gets better. Once Castro was let in on the prank, he got so mad that he started cursing. He even called the DJ's "maricones", Spanish for "faggot".

Thus, in a single breathe the highest-regarded Left-Wing leader in the whole Western Hemisphere threw out the entire socialist Revolution, as one can't be very "progressive" if one hates gays, after all.

Wow, social value gleened from radio shock jocks. If that isn't shocking, what is?!

[Congressman Billybob]

Thanks for the update. I am not surprised that the in-country scores are a little lower than the overseas scores. I'll bet they try not to separately score the Asians in the US DoD schools because they would be off-the-chart high, rather than that the "sample is too small."

Cordially,

Billybob

[I_be_tc]

Did anyone else catch MSNBC's scrolling ticker last night? It said "MAX FACTOR AIR CAPTURED".

So, I wonder if he is related to HEIR JORDAN??

TC

[Diddle E. Squat]

It turns out that the "177,000 treasures stolen" was actually the total collection. The final total of items stolen was 33. That's right – just 33. And now the staff of that Museum have called for the resignations of the top dogs, because they were complicit in the few thefts that did occur.

Do you have a source for those numbers? I would dearly love to beat my idiot friends over the head with such proof...

[gcruse]

If I were to hear one of these, I could not name it.

I feel a lot better, thanks.  I couldn't identify any of those.

[ladyinred]

I did enjoy it sir! I just disagree with one thing. I am glad that Martha got indicted, but I agree with you that Hillary should not be running free trashing up book stores!

[gcruse]

The eye-popping result was that in two nations, Jordan and Indonesia, a solid majority of locals said that "America is a greater threat to peace than Osama bin Laden."

Well, why not?  The only people I can think of to
whom peace is desirable over all else are the Pope,
the axis of evil, and on the next level, Old Europe.

Peace as a tarp covering  massacres that were
taking place in Iraq and the starving of an entire
population in the land of  JucheFruit is a
peace unworthy of being maintained.

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