The Hillary Clinton Traveling Freak Show

Wednesday, June 18, 2003 | Kristinn

[kristinn]

Ladieszzzzz annnnd Gentlemen

Step right up to see the Hillary Clinton Traveling Freak Show!

Live and in person, the Human Doormat herself. For the modest price of just twenty-eight dollars, you can marvel as the smartest woman in the world plays dumb for suckers like you.

You'll laugh as Hillary says she believed Bill when he told her he was just ministering to Monica Lewinsky.

You'll cry as Hillary turns a deaf ear to her husband's rape victims.

You'll shriek in amazement as Hillary sics private detectives on women to put out Bill's bimbo eruptions.

Yes, indeed, the Hillary Clinton Freak Show--featuring the Clinton Flying Monkeys: James Carville, Sidney Blumenthal and Ann Lewis. With Al and Tipper Gore as the Court Jesters; Terry Lenzner as the Dirt Digger; Larry Flynt as the keeper of the Morals; and John Huang, James Riady and Johnny Chung as the Chinese Money Bag Men.

The Hillary Clinton Freak Show--relive those heady days when terrorists were welcomed in the White House; when terrorists were pardoned for votes; and when Osama bin Laden thought he could get away with murdering Americans.

It's the return of the Hillary Clinton Freak Show, folks. The Miracle of the Cattle Futures. The Mystery of Who Hired Craig Livingstone. The Acquisition of a Thousand FBI Files. The Disappearance of the White House Silverware. It's all here.

This is your chance to gaze on the woman who couldn't be gazed at if you worked in the White House. Your chance to show your daughters how not to be when they grow into womanhood. Your chance to see the Hillary Clinton Traveling Freak Show.

[Zack Nguyen]

I think that comic is the unspoken key to her appeal among her base.

[theFIRMbss]

>The Hillary Clinton Traveling Freak Show

My only complaint
is that calling Hillary
a "freak" makes freaks look

like bad things... Real freaks
are just beatniks without the
left-wing politics --

Who could imagine
That they would freak out in Washington, D.C.
D.C. D.C. D.C. D.C. D.C.
It can't happen here
Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
It can't happen here
It can't happen here
Everybody's safe and it can't happen here
No freaks for us
It can't happen here
Everybody's clean and it can't happen here
No, no, it won't happen here
I'm telling you it can't
It won't happen here
(Bop bop didi bop didi bop bop bop)
Plastic folks, you know
It won't happen here
You're safe, mama
You're safe, baby
You just cook a TV dinner
And you make it
(Bop bop bop)
No no no no
Oh, we're gonna get a TV dinner and cook it up
Go get a TV dinner and cook it up
Cook it up
Oh, and it won't happen here
(No no no no no no no no no no no
Man you guys are really safe
Everything's cool).
Who could imagine
Who could imagine
That they would freak out in the suburbs!

[from "Help, I'm a Rock," by Frank Zappa, album: FREAK OUT!]

[BillF]

That was great! CSPAN has you doing that bit at the DC Hillary FReep and I put it online.

The file is relatively large and only the most patient of dial up users should attempt to download. The file may take some time to download even for those with cable or DSL connections.

You can left click on the link and it will store to your temporary folder and start playing after download. You may alternately wish to right click on a file, select "save target as" (might be slightly different depending on operating system) and save the file to your hard drive. Then, after the file is downloaded a few minutes later, you can click on the file and it should start playing.

(If you have trouble playing the video with Windows Media Player, you might also want to try to play the files with RealPlayer from Real.com. I think that the video file can be played with the free version which you can download by clicking here and following instructions.)

Click here to get 1 minute 27 second CSPAN clip (15 Mb, mpeg format) showing FReepers at Hillary's DC book signing. Shows the FReepers in line and numerous shouts of the FReepers to the Clinton Kool-Aid drinkers. Doctor Raoul announcing "cash pardons to the front of the line." Kristinn describing the Hillary freak show: "You'll laugh when you read about . . ."

My videos of that DC book signing and an audio file of the Doctor of FReep using a megaphone on the Hillary fans can be downloaded from here.

[hattend]

"Hillary's got this huge book, it's a memoir of her life and times at the White House. In the book she says when Bill told her he was having an affair, she said 'I could hardly breath, I was gulping for air....' No, nevermind, I'm sorry. That's what Monica said." —David Letterman

"Hillary Clinton's book hits the stores this Monday. Oh boy, it took her a long time to write it. But in her defense, every time she tried to use the desk, Bill was always using it for a date." —Jay Leno

"Hillary told Barbara Walters that Bill came to her bedside one morning, woke her up to confess and she said she was shocked. Not that he lied, but that Clinton even knew where her bedroom was." —Jay Leno

"The word is that Bill Clinton is so distraught over Hillary's new book that he's been drinking. Sweet Lord, we've seen the chicks he hits on when he's sober!" —Craig Kilborn

"Hillary said that after Bill admitted the affair with Monica he would spend time alone with Buddy, the dog. He would spend all his time with Buddy the dog. At least that's how he told her he got those scratches on his back." —Jay Leno

"It's a fascinating book. Hillary said that after Clinton admitted to the affair she yelled at him. She said 'Why did you lie to me?' And he said 'You mean this time?'" —Jay Leno

"In her new book, Hillary said that for months she accepted Bill Clinton's story that Monica was just an intern who would come to him asking for help in finding a job. And of course, he wasted no time in finding a position for her." —Jay Leno

"Hillary Clinton's 506-page memoirs comes out next week. So much of her personality shines through, that in the end, you'll want to sleep with an intern." —Craig Kilborn

"In Hillary Clinton's new book 'Living History,' Hillary details what it was like meeting Bill Clinton, falling in love with him, getting married, and living a passionate, wonderful life as husband and wife. Then on page two, the trouble starts." —Jay Leno

"The word is that when Bill read the book he wept when he finished it. The last chapter is titled 'The Castration.'" —Craig Kilborn

"Hillary Clinton has finished writing her book where she says her marriage couldn't be stronger, and Bill just finished his book titled 'Chicks I Nailed While Hillary was Writing Her Book.'" —Craig Kilborn.

"Senator Hillary Clinton was there. And it was the first time that she was at a presidential address as a member of congress. Of course Bill loved it, it was like having a Hillary cam. He knew where she was the whole time. He was keeping an eye on her from the motel. 'Trixy bring me another brew, will ya? She is going to be about another 20 minutes.'" —Jay Leno

"Hillary Clinton is the junior senator from the great state of New York. When they swore her in, she used the Clinton family Bible. You know, the one with only seven commandments." —David Letterman

[Mia T]

Brilliant!

What did hillary clinton know and when did she know it? And was she part of it?


THE CLINTON-SPIKED MYERS-NBC INTERVIEW THAT DETAILED THE CLINTONS' RAPE OF BROADDRICK WILL RESURFACE SOON
HERE



GORE ON CLINTON RAPES-THE VIDEO

YOO-HOO missus clinton: THE CLINTON RAPES ARE "UNBECOMING"  

Democratic Party's Problem Transcends Its Anti-War Contingent
CLINTON-WAS-AN-UTTER-FAILURE Containment Team Scheme _{FICTIONAL TRILOGY}
Q ERTY8^PING

The REAL "Living History" -- clintoplasmodial slime

Personal Agitprop-and-Money-Laundering Machine, Cozy-clintonoid-Interviews-of-the-Colmes-Kind-Scheme
Bury REAL "Living History"

hillary clinton all HYPE -- no SUBSTANCE

hillary clinton is no Howard Stern

THE CLINTON RAPES, LIVING HISTORY, USEFUL IDIOTS AND ENTROPY

clinton Administration VETERAN / BERKELEY PROFESSOR: "Hillary Rodham Clinton needs to be kept very far away from the White House for the rest of her life."

Liking Viking: subliminal confession by simile

The REAL Living History. . .
CONGENITAL PERVERTER OF CONSTITUTION PERVERTS CONSTITUTION AS SHE CHARGES "CONSTITUTIONAL PERVERSION"

What did hillary clinton know and when did she know it? And was she part of it?
Neither HARLEQUIN PROSE nor RESPIRATORY ARREST nor clinton CANINES will resuscitate the moribund, zipper-hoisted coconspirator

Why bill "it was the TERRORISM, stupid" clinton would have been an utter failure even if he weren't a corrupt, cowardly, vacuous, self-serving, balkanizing, opportunistic RapistThug
And why the little missus deserves no less than half the credit

Poison Pen Proves Autotoxic:
CLINTON-WAS-AN-UTTER-FAILURE Containment Team Scheme Fails Yet Again

The Clinton Wars: Stockholm Syndrome Revs Spinning Sid

Reciprocal Intern-Exploitation-Purgation Attempt at JFK Library
"I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine...."

Are Susan Estrich, Al From and The Times on the same "Get the clintons off the stage!" page?...
(Desperately seeking Susan.... Who spiked her, anyway?)

bushwhacked by tailhook: the real reason

Personal Agitprop-and-Money-Laundering Machine,
Cozy-clintonoid-Interviews-of-the-Colmes-Kind-Scheme
Bury REAL "Living History"

The Times Reaps What It Sowed 2

missus clinton's REAL virtual office update

[2 Kool 2 Be 4-Gotten]

I think what scares me most about hitlery (it's a tough call, but I'll go out on a limb anyway). More than her marxism, more than her dishonesty, more than her ice cold personal makeup, is her paranoia.

The things she is saying now reveal and incredible amount of clinical paranoia. She has rewritten history in her head to the point where she sees the entire decade of the 1990's as a determined assault on her and her husband by the evil right wing conspiracy. Her nickname of hiterly is all too well deserved. And this woman is a sitting US senator as well as ex first-spouse.

My fear is that if she ever got her hands on real presidential power, her paranoia would feed on itself and drive her to do unimaginable and unspeakable things. She is not the "smartest woman in the world" but she may be the "most paranoid woman in the world".

[Xthe17th]

fellow travelers vince foster, jerry parks, and ron brown

Those are her real ghostwriters.

[OrioleFan]

I suggest that all freepers look for "(Night of the) Living (Dead) History" in their local libraries. It may be on reserve, in which case this won't work, but it's worth a try. Casually take the book out of the political section and insert it (alphabetically by author) in the fiction section.

[OrioleFan]

Hillary Clinton goes to a primary school to talk about the world. After her talk she offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand, and the Senator asks him what his name is.

"Jim", he said.

"And what is your question, Jim?"

"I have three questions... first - whatever happened to your medical health care plan; second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office; and third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?"

Just then the bell rings for recess. Hillary Clinton informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume Hillary says, "Okay where were we? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?" A different little boy puts his hand up; Hillary points him out and asks him what his name is.

"William", he said.

"And what is your question, William?"

"I have five questions... first - whatever happened to your medical health care plan; second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office; third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House; fourth - why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early; and fifth - what happened to Jim?

[Taxman]

I heard there were 12,000. Don't know if/how true that number is.

[MayflowerMadam]

At Costco last weekend, I turnned over all of Hillary's books so only the backs could be seen. Lots of people saw me; nobody asked me to stop. They just smiled.

[secret garden]

I did the same thing, and followed up by placing Giuliani's books on top of hers.

[knighthawk]

You are giving the 'normal' freak shows a bad name.

[Darksheare]

Hillary's song to Vince Foster...

Oingo Boingo - Dead Man's Party

I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go
Walkin' with a dead man over my shoulder

Waiting for an invitation to arrive
Goin' to a party where no one's still alive

CHORUS
I was struck by lighting
Walkin' down the street
I was hit by something last night in my sleep
It's a dead man's party
Who could ask for more
Everybody's comin', leave your body at the door
Leave your body and soul at the door . . .
(Don't run away it's only me)

All dressed up with nowhere to go
Walkin' with a dead man
Waitin' for an invitation to arrive
With a dead man . . . Dead Man . . .

Got my best suit and my tie
Shiny silver dollar on either eye
I hear the chauffeur comin' to the door
Says there's room for maybe just one more . . .

CHORUS

Don't run away it's only me
Don't be afraid of what you can't see
Don't run away it's only me . . .

[oyez]

BFL (I hope not)

[krunkygirl]

I didn't know that --thanks

[JustPiper]

See Kristin got Circus sounds going through my head and keep hearing James Darren singin' Goodbye Cruel World!

[JustPiper]

Love THIS!

[JustPiper]

Tanx Dog, You My Dog ;)

[JustPiper]

Do you know this Heifer's book is #1 on the NY Best Sellers list today?!