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Cheese 'Can Be Addictive As Morphine'
Ananova ^
| 5-6-2003
Posted on 06/06/2003 4:38:29 PM PDT by blam
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To: blam
I am addicted to sex with women over 18 years old and below 60. Does that mean I can sue women for my problem? I am constantly craving sex and will do just about anything for sex; lower my self esteem, crawl and beg for it, pay for it, take risks and anything else to further my addiction. However, I did have standards but the addiction has overridden them, I am now considering women over 60.
To: blam
I had to look twice: I thought this article was written by Steve Urkel.
To: usnret99
I believe this is the same group that a few months ago came out with milk was bad for you....I think the study they refered to was that if scientists gave lab rats 6 gallons of milk a day, they tended to explode, hense milk is bad for you.
Mark
63
posted on
06/06/2003 5:34:20 PM PDT
by
MarkL
To: blam
Leave it up to the "president of the Physicians Committee on Responsible Medicine" to do a study on cows with a morphine habit.
To: blam
Will we now have a War on Cheese? If so, I better leave my state now.
65
posted on
06/06/2003 5:35:42 PM PDT
by
mafree
To: Right Wing Professor
Like the CSPI? (Center for Science in the Public Interest)
To: blam
I didnt leave him cookies
I left him cheese!!!
TMMT
To: blam
...and take it from me...Moose Cheese is the MOST addictive !
68
posted on
06/06/2003 5:40:16 PM PDT
by
PoorMuttly
(Real Dogs Eat Cheese)
To: blam
Hi, I am boycott and I am a cheese addict.
69
posted on
06/06/2003 5:41:19 PM PDT
by
boycott
To: aruanan
My gawd, what "udderly" soporific prose, I think I'll drink some warm milk and hit the old hay.
To: vetvetdoug
You gay dawg, you.
To: blam
definitely cheese
To: blam
73
posted on
06/06/2003 5:52:51 PM PDT
by
Radix
(Garbage, fromage, ce la meme chose!)
To: blam
He can have my cheese when he prys it out of my cold dead
shorts
74
posted on
06/06/2003 5:55:04 PM PDT
by
joesnuffy
(Moderate Islam Is For Dilettantes)
To: drlevy88
Heh, heh. Surprised you didn't I?
75
posted on
06/06/2003 6:00:22 PM PDT
by
Velveeta
To: blam
Oh no! My guilty secret is exposed to all!
76
posted on
06/06/2003 6:02:00 PM PDT
by
boris
To: blam
But what about....
The Dangers of Bread
- A recent Cincinnati Enquirer headline read, "SMELL OF BAKED BREAD MAY BE HEALTH HAZARD." The article went on to describe the dangers of the smell of baking bread. The main danger, apparently, is that the organic components of this aroma may break down ozone (I'm not making this stuff up).
- I was horrified. When are we going to do something about bread-induced global warming? Sure, we attack tobacco companies, but when is the government going to go after Big Bread?
- Well, I've done a little research, and what I've discovered should make anyone think twice ....
-
- More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread eaters.
- Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
- In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever and influenza ravaged whole nations.
- More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
- Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!
- Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low occurrence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease and osteoporosis.
- Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat, actually begged for bread after only two days.
- Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to harder items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter and even cold cuts.
- Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.
- Newborn babies can choke on bread.
- Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
- Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.
- In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:
-
- No sale of bread to minors.
- No advertising of bread within 1000 feet of a school.
- A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
- No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
- A $4.2 zillion fine on the three biggest bread manufacturers. Please send this e-mail on to everyone you know who cares about this crucial issue.
- Remember: Think globally, act idiotically.
To: Velveeta
29 posted on 06/06/2003 6:52 PM CDT by Velveeta So, you now come out of your camouflage as "American Cheese."
Some of us know you as "Velveeta, The Cheese That Cannot Die"!
78
posted on
06/06/2003 6:05:46 PM PDT
by
LibKill
(MOAB, the greatest advance in Foreign Relations since the cat-o'-nine-tails!)
To: 45Auto
"Teschemacher, Hansjoerg; Umbach, Martin; Hamel, Ulrike; Praetorius, Karina; Ahnert-Hilger, Gudrun; Brantl, Victor; Lottspeich, Friedrich; Henschen, Agnes. Rudolf-Buchheim-Inst. Pharmakol., Justus-Liebig-Univ. Giessen, Giessen, Fed. Rep. Ger. "
HUH???
To: blam
Food is the new tobacco!
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