Telemarketer reveals tricks of trade

MSNBC ^ | April 21, 2003 | Bob Sullivan

[lainie]

The phone rings in the middle of a busy day. “I just want to verify some information for your yellow page listing,” says a voice on the other end of the line. It’s your business, so you agree to the chat. Name. Address. Phone number. You reply with a simple “yes” to eight or nine rapid-fire questions. A month later, there’s a $29.95 charge on your phone bill for a service you don’t remember ordering. You’ve been crammed, another victim of fast-talking telemarketers who are skirting the edges of telecommunications law to create a multimillion industry.

..But the former employee, who was laid off by the company several weeks ago, alleges that Epixtar’s telemarketers use a variety of techniques — including altering taped telephone calls — to prove that customers agreed to charges.

..On the call, the Epixtar operator says she is verifying the business name and address. Then, after she gets the consumer into the rhythm of giving “yes” answers, she establishes that he has the right to make changes to the phone bill. But that key question, read at lightning-quick speed, is slipped in behind another simple “yes” answer.

“At this time we will begin your no obligation 30-day free trial. Should you decide to continue after 30 days your company’s Web and Internet service is only $29.95 monthly and will be included in your local phone bill appearing under the heading online services ...,” the operator says. The flummoxed consumer replies hesitatingly, “Yes ....” The former employee claims the tape was neatly cut after the word “yes.”

[BunnySlippers]

I always say, "We're having a dinner party and we're all sitting down now. I can't talk" (click). If during the day I say, "I'm home sick from work and I'm soooo ill" (make sure you sound like you're running to the bathroom) .... (click).

I've not given a telemarketer more than 15 seconds in many years. Don't wait for them to reply, hang up.

[Sweet_Sunflower29]

Gee; you are nicer then me!

As the spiel-giver winds up to give-me-the-deal-of-the-century, I simply utter a curt "no thanks" and hang the phone up.

[Tennessee_Bob]

It all depends - if I'm eating, or leaving, I'll cut them off and say "Put me on your do not call list." If I'm sitting around bored, I'll do like I did one young woman who called. She introduced herself as Heidi and proceeded through her sales pitch. I never said yes or no - just "go on, go on." After a couple minutes, she said "Well, Mr. ####, what do you think?" To which I replied, "Heidi, I'm completely naked - what are you wearing?" I heard a click and silence.

[rickmichaels]

I remember seeing a movie in which a guy gets a call right in the middle of his dinner. The guy cuts off the telemarketer in mid-sentence and says, "Are you proud of yourself? Is this what you wanted to be when you were growing up?" then immediately hangs up. I spit my coke into my popcorn when I heard that.

[1stFreedom]

I recently fell for this. I knew I could cancel at any time before 30 days. When the literature came in the mail, it was basically internet service. The call was maily about being published in a business directory. Side benefits were one hour of legal and accounting advice per month. But it essentially turned out to be a web service and a website.

I immediately called customer service. Boy, they did EVERYTHING to get me not to cancel. 1/2 price, free this, free that. I told them that I didn't want to deal with this again later and I don't want any special rates on anything. The only thing I wanted was an immediate cancellation, a reference number, and the employees name. I got all this.

I then e-mailed customers service with this cancellation number, the name of the employee, and a request to cancel my service.

So far, I haven't seen any charges on my phone bill.

I'm usually very good with telemarketers, but this method caught me off guard. I figured, hey I get listed in a business directory, I can always cancel.

Then I realized later the old poetry scam, where you are solicited for your poems and are sold a published book. The catch is that the book is only sold to those who submitted poems!! The same with the business directory, what good is it to get listed in a book with a small distribution?

So, whenever a telemarketer calls, if it sounds interesting, simply say the following: "Please send me some literature" or better yet ask for a website so that you can get more information.

After getting their website, promptly ask them to you off of their telemarketing list. I usually do this and many are reluctant to send information. If it's really a deal, then a legitimate company would send you something before you decide.

[js1138]

I always say, "We do not receive solicitation calls. State law requires you to remove us from your list." Of course we don't answer calls that block caller-id.

[halley]

Once upon a time, tele-marketing wasn't all bad. I started with it part time 30 years ago... folks got 2 calls a year and were often happy to talk with you. If you were selling a good product at a good price, it wasn't bad at all. By the late 80's it was over. Everybody hated you, and you were hard pressed to hire any one who wasn't a flake or a felon.

Now, when I want to blow them off, I use one of two techniques. When they ask if I am Mr X, I'll sadly say, "No, Mr X took his own life about an hour ago." Alternately, I explain that Mr. X was taken away by Federal Marshalls about an hour ago. Both techniques get you right off the list. :)

[Arkinsaw]

I let them give their whole spiel and then when they ask if I am interested I say......"Huh? Whats this about?"

[RLK]

My standard answer. "This is a restricted line. No incoming calls will be taken without prior arrangement."

[OrthodoxPresbyterian]

I usually take the time to critique their sales technique.

"Stop, STOP! You're not gonna make any sales if you sound like a machine. Try a little voice inflection, the occasional Pause to establish anticipation... alright, let's take it from the top, this time with gusto!!"

Usually, they get flummoxed and hang up on me. Which is good for a chuckle.

[1stFreedom]

I never answer my phone. All calls are audibly screened. My answer machine has the disconnect tone followed by my greeting. (Don't have to buy telezapper, just download disconnect tone and put at beginning of your message.)

When I get the occassional call for a bill that went to collections 10 years ago, this happens:

Telemkt: "Hello, is xyz Home?
Me: "Who's calling?"
Telemkt: "I'm calling about a personal matter"
Me: "I need to know who you are. It's customary to introduce one's self when calling. You called this number, please identify yourself as well as the company you are working for"
Telemkt: "We can only reveal that information to xyz"
Me: "Well, I have no clue about this xyz. XYZ does not reside here. Please remove update your numbers and do not call again."

Keeps them away for about 2 years or so. (Who in the heck tries collecting on a $100, 10 year old charge off???)

[GirlShortstop]

Once upon a time, tele-marketing wasn't all bad. I started with it part time 30 years ago...

Caller-id has helped me avoid the telemarketers.  When I do get "snagged", typically the caller hacks up my first name, so I just tell them, "No, she's not here".  I won't let myself be rude to the caller because they're only trying to make a living.

One method that I haven't used which I think is excellent:  when the caller asks for so-and-so, tell them yes, just a minute.  Put the phone down and let it sit until the caller gets tired of waiting.  Voila! you've just saved another few persons from calls while the telemarketer's line is tied up waiting on no one.   :-)

[repubmom]

I try to say as quickly into their "speil" as possible before they can hang up, "Please put me on your do-not-call list." My son worked for MBNA (against our advice) and informed us that that is the wording to use that they have to "obey." He ended up hating his job, thus giving us some credibility in his 17 year old mind. We have also told callers that we make no purchases over the phone. If we want it, we'll go search it out ourselves.

[tubebender]

I had a call the other night trying to sell me Dish Network. (I had it at one time) After a couple of "I'm not interested" I finally blurted out that Sears was coming to repo my TV tomorrow because my my wife had run up huge depts at the casino. I did this in a almost sobbing voice and when he signed off he said he had a similar experience and he understood. I have many other sob stories to use when I have to...

[1stFreedom]

I asked to be put on a do not call list when a telemarketer called. She responded that I had to call the direct marketing association. I told her I have already called that quite a few times and demanded she put me on the do not call list. We went round and round and I said, "Look, I'm unemployed with tons of time on my hand. Call me again and I'm taking your company to court to collect my automatic judgement."

I haven't heard from them since.

[FourPeas]

When they ask for Mr. FourPeas, I've been known to go into a rant about the bum running off with a younger woman leaving me with small children to raise, or about him dying just last week, or whatever strikes me at the moment. Of course, I never forget to ask them to take us off their list.

[FourPeas]

I like that.

[irishtenor]

I usually ask for their Visa or Mastercard number and explain that I charge $5 per minute to listen to sales pitches. Click.

[stands2reason]

That's funny!