[FourPeas]

When they ask for Mr. FourPeas, I've been known to go into a rant about the bum running off with a younger woman leaving me with small children to raise, or about him dying just last week, or whatever strikes me at the moment. Of course, I never forget to ask them to take us off their list.

[Ditter]

I sometimes tell I callers that Mr. Ditter is in the County Jail & they can see him on visiting day. More often I just lay the phone down & talk to the dogs or bang the dishes around. We stopped getting calls from Colorado Prime the frozen meat company when Mr Ditter told them we didn't eat beef only dog & that we raised them & he tried to sell some dog meat to the caller.