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Battle over same-sex marriage takes shape in Jersey
Newark Star Ledger ^ | 4/22/03 | Kathy Barrett Carter

Posted on 04/23/2003 7:29:20 AM PDT by Incorrigible

Battle over same-sex marriage takes shape in Jersey

In courts and Legislature, gay couples push to expand legal rights

Tuesday, April 22, 2003

BY KATHY BARRETT CARTER
Star-Ledger Staff

[Trenton, NJ] -- After 32 years together, Chris Lodewyks and Craig Hutchinson want to get married. And they want their marriage to be legal.

The Pompton Lakes couple are among a growing and increasingly vocal group that want New Jersey to become the first state in the nation to recognize same-sex marriages for lesbians and gay men.

"This is the next chapter in our lives," said Hutchinson, 52. "We want to show that gay relationships are not frivolous but grounded in love and commitment."

New Jersey has become a key battleground in the fight over recognition of gay marriages, with battles being waged simultaneously in the courts and the Legislature. Gay-rights advocates are heartened because the governor generally supports domestic partnerships, and the court system has recognized gay foster parents, adoptions and visitation rights.

Opponents of gay marriage are just as eager for battle, figuring that if they can win in New Jersey, they can beat the issue down in less-moderate states.

Brian Fahling, a lawyer for the Law and Policy Center of the American Family Association in Tupelo, Miss., which has opposed state and federal efforts to recognize same-sex marriages, was rejected in an attempt to intervene in a New Jersey court case.

He puts New Jersey at or near the top of the list of states where the courts are likely to recognize gay marriage.

"Regrettably, New Jersey is a good forum where they have the best opportunity for success," Fahling said.

Since the 1970s, there have been a series of unsuccessful attempts across the country to gain recognition of gay marriages. Same-sex marriage is not yet legal in any state, but in April 2000, Vermont approved landmark legislation recognizing "civil unions" between gays -- a status just short of marriage.

The state's top court in Hawaii issued a ruling in 1993 compelling the state to give marriage licenses to gay couples, but the next year voters promptly amended the state constitution to override it.

Allowing gay marriages would be disastrous, Fahling said.

"For one, it is the total legitimization of a lifestyle that is dangerous and inimical to culture at large," Fahling said.

He said it is remarkable he finds himself arguing that marriage is a union between a man and woman.

"That's like saying water is wet. Marriage by definition is a man and woman," said Fahling. "Men and women marry, not men and men or women and women."

John Tomicki, executive director of the League of American Families, said redefining marriage would undo 2,000 years of recorded history. To do that, he says the debate should take place in the Legislature, not the courtroom.

Some lawmakers like Sen. Gerald Cardinale (R-Bergen) share that point of view. He has introduced legislation banning same-sex marriage.

Still, gay-rights advocates have not been discouraged. In a passionate and aggressive fight, they are eagerly awaiting a decision from state Superior Court Judge Linda Feinberg in Mercer County. On May 23, she is scheduled to hear a motion to dismiss the same-sex marriage lawsuit filed on behalf of seven couples who were turned down when they sought marriage licenses. Lawyers for the couples are arguing that barring same-sex couples from marrying violates the equal protection clause of the state constitution.

Whichever way Feinberg rules, her decision is certain to be appealed, which sends the issue on its way toward definition in the higher courts.

On the legislative front, Assemblywoman Loretta Weinberg (D-Bergen) and Assemblyman Joseph Roberts (D-Camden) are preparing an 80-page bill that would revise 500 individual New Jersey statutes to recognize domestic partners, Roberts said.

Under the bill, any two people who live together, related or unrelated, including siblings or a parent and child could file an affidavit indicating they are domestic partners.

Expected to be introduced early next month, among other things, the bill will allow gay couples to visit each other in hospital intensive care units, require both private companies and the state to include gay partners as beneficiaries on health plans and allow gay partners to make critical health care decisions for their partners.

"This bill has four prime sponsors. I'm proud to be one," said Roberts, speaking earlier this month before more than 500 supporters of the legislation at a packed town meeting in the basement of the First Presbyterian Church in Haddonfield, Camden County. "We're making progress, but it is not going to be easy."

Sen. John Adler (D-Camden), who is still undecided about whether he will support the bill, said it is unlikely the measure will pass any time soon.

"The reality is, it is not going to happen this year. We don't have the majority of votes," Adler said at the same town meeting. "It's up to you to make this happen," he urged the crowd. "You have to come to Trenton. You have to reward your friends and punish your enemies. You have to tell us why this is right. You have to agitate and aggravate and spend money to be a force."

Senate Co-President John Bennett (R-Monmouth) does not support the bill.

McGreevey opposes same-sex marriage but has told gay-rights advocates that he would sign a bill recognizing benefits for domestic partners if it reaches his desk.

Steven Goldstein, who is leading the campaign in New Jersey on behalf of Lambda Legal, a nonprofit legal advocacy group for gays, organized the Haddonfield meeting.

He said the normally sleepy, scattered, apolitical gay community in New Jersey has been galvanized and energized over this issue.

"What's happening in New Jersey is nothing short of a demographic revolution. In the six years since I've worked in New Jersey politics, the population and power of the lesbian and gay community has literary boomed off the charts," said Goldstein.

Since January, Lambda Legal has also sponsored town meetings in Morristown, Newark, Trenton, Jersey City, Teaneck and Maplewood, attracting more than 2,000 people -- over double the original estimates, according to Goldstein.

The gay community in New Jersey is politically potent because it is not solidly Democratic as it is in many states, he said. There is a sizable number of independents and a fairly high percentage of Republicans, according to Goldstein, who has worked for both U.S. Sens. Frank Lautenberg and Jon Corzine of New Jersey.

For many of the couples, the politics is illusory.

Mark Lewis, who along with his partner of 12 years, Dennis Winslow, are two of the plaintiffs in the case. As Episcopal ministers, they perform marriages for other couples but are themselves denied that legal document, he said at the town meeting.

Two other plaintiffs, Karen Nicholson-McFadden, and her partner, Marcye Nicholson-McFadden, tearfully described the thicket of paperwork they must navigate to make sure their young children have medical coverage. Each woman has conceived a child through artificial insemination, but their children do hot have all the same legal rights of a family. For example, the woman who is not biologically related to the child cannot claim the child on health insurance until after going through an adoption.

A nurse and mother of five, Marilyn Maneely, 53, and her partner for the last 12 years, Diane Marini, are also part of the lawsuit.

Marini said her 86-year-old mother has witnessed women get the right to vote in 1920, the desegregation of schools in 1954 and the passage of Title 9, which gave women greater opportunities in sports, in 1972.

"I am hoping during her lifetime, she'll see marriage for gay couples," said Marini. "When New Jersey passes, this we'll all have large weddings," Marini said.

Kathy Barrett Carter covers the New Jersey Supreme Court and legal issues. She can be reached at kcarter@starledger.com or (609) 989-0254.

Not for commercial use.  For educational and discussion purposes only.


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society; Politics/Elections; US: New Jersey
KEYWORDS: benny; gay; homosexual; homosexualagenda; lesbian; newjersey; nj; samesexmarriage; weinberg
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To: streamline
I don't understand what the big deal is..

If two men or two women want to "marry", let them.

Who does it hurt? It's not up to us to appease those religious zealots who would feel perfectly at home with the Taliban over a civil issue.
101 posted on 04/24/2003 11:13:50 AM PDT by Shroom
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To: eastsider
The VT Supreme Court didn't see it that way. They ruled that not having access to the coverage because a marriage license was required (and also not available) was the main sticking point.
102 posted on 04/24/2003 11:17:13 AM PDT by streamline
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To: Shroom
Agreed, Shroom. But I also think that the issue of due process is critical when looking at this issue. You can call it marriage, civil union, or a popsicle - just so long as equal access to benefits is extended to any adult couple that is willing to enter into a contract for a monogamous relationship.
103 posted on 04/24/2003 11:42:36 AM PDT by streamline
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To: streamline
[A] marriage license was required (and also not available) ...
A marriage license was available to any couple that wanted one -- provided that the couple comprised two adults of opposite sex. As I stated before, I see that as a discrimination among sexual relationships, not among citizens.

If you have a link to the VT SC ruling you're referencing, I'd be interested in reading it.

104 posted on 04/24/2003 11:44:50 AM PDT by eastsider
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To: eastsider
Had fun with a democrat aquantance today over the santorum comments. Their were in the "consenting adults should be able to contract any way they want including marriage" camp. I then asked about incest. he said no it should be illegal. Even it the offsping is an adult over the age of 21? he was flustered and called that wrong and different? Just to make a long story short. This is about more than just marriage. (homosexuals could create cohabitation agreements which would be recognized in any court) This is about the de-imposition of right and wrong.
105 posted on 04/24/2003 11:48:57 AM PDT by longtermmemmory
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To: eastsider
It may take me a little while, but let me see what I can do about that for you.
106 posted on 04/24/2003 11:52:15 AM PDT by streamline
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To: eastsider
Well, that wasn't so hard. Eastsider, the link you asked for is: http://www.rutlandherald.com/vtruling/one.html.
107 posted on 04/24/2003 11:55:12 AM PDT by streamline
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To: eastsider
I've just tested that link and it appears to be broken. Try cutting and pasting the URL to your browser.
108 posted on 04/24/2003 11:56:49 AM PDT by streamline
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To: eastsider
Try using this link: http://www.rutlandherald.com/vtruling/one.html - It will work. I tested it and it took me straight to the page in question. Sorry for the confusion and the extra posts, but I'm not sure how to edit a post on this forum.
109 posted on 04/24/2003 12:07:54 PM PDT by streamline
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To: streamline
Thanks for the link (and the effort!), streamline. I'll print it out and take a look.
110 posted on 04/24/2003 12:15:45 PM PDT by eastsider
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To: longtermmemmory
This is about the de-imposition of right and wrong.
The case for parity between opposite-sex and same-sex couples seems to be premised on the unreasonable denial of the natural order. The marriage act is ordered towards procreation. A same-sex act is ordered towards self-gratification. Therefore, same-sex acts are not marriage acts. JMO.
111 posted on 04/24/2003 12:34:13 PM PDT by eastsider
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To: eastsider
How is self-gratification the "unreasonable denial of the natural order"?
112 posted on 04/24/2003 12:39:46 PM PDT by streamline
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To: streamline
I wasn't aware that I implied that self-gratification is a denial of the natural order, and if my post can be construed that way, I'll have to explain myself differently.

Self-gratification is the natural end of same-sex acts. That is, same-sex acts are ordered toward self-gratification.

Procreation is the natural end of opposite-sex acts. That is, opposite-sex acts are ordered toward procreation.

One can only make the case for parity between opposite-sex acts and same-sex acts if one denies that procreation is the natural end of opposite-sex acts -- that is, if one denies the natural order. IMO, such a denial is completely unreasonable.

113 posted on 04/24/2003 1:10:28 PM PDT by eastsider
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To: eastsider
I buy it, but only to a degree. Lots of men and women voluntarily get sterilized once they've decided to stop having children. Sex then becomes strictly an act of self gratification, doesn't it? The same might even be said of straight couples that have sex while using birth control devices. My point is that self-gratification is another legitimate end of sexual relations.
114 posted on 04/24/2003 1:18:19 PM PDT by streamline
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To: Incorrigible
My Big Fat Gay? Wedding
115 posted on 04/24/2003 1:22:21 PM PDT by PBRSTREETGANG
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To: streamline
To my way of thinking, sterilization, birth control, etc. do not change the natural order of opposite-sex relations -- they frustrate it.
116 posted on 04/24/2003 1:22:51 PM PDT by eastsider
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To: eastsider
A man who gets himself "snipped" has only a one in five thousand chance of impregnating a woman. I'd call that a bit more than just frustrating any "natural order". Again, my point is that gratification has always been an end to sexual relations and that there's nothing wrong with that. After all, millions of women still crave sex after menopause and we can't be discussing procreation as the primary directive at that point can we?
117 posted on 04/24/2003 1:34:59 PM PDT by streamline
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To: streamline
I'm not saying that self-gratification isn't often -- if not always -- an individual's prime reason for engaging in coitus. Quite frankly, I doubt anyone would even do it if it weren't pleasurable. I am, however, saying that personal orgasmic pleasure is not intrinsic to coitus per se, which by definition is an act involving one man and one woman. The act of coitus is naturally ordered towards procreation, even when that end is frustrated, either naturally -- such as in menopause -- or artifically.

To put it another way, sex is naturally ordered toward survival of the species, not an individual's pleasure receptors.

118 posted on 04/24/2003 2:16:50 PM PDT by eastsider
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To: Cagey
Find a name other than "marriage"

A suitable one would probably be "EGAIRRAM", that way, the relationship would be most unique.

119 posted on 04/26/2003 8:54:09 PM PDT by ejo
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To: ejo
In Vermont, we call it "civil union". It's marriage in every sense except name. If all we're arguing about is a name though, I wonder what we're getting so worked up over.
120 posted on 04/28/2003 4:50:45 AM PDT by streamline
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