Teaching Kindergarten Kids About 'Human Differences' and Homosexuality Isn't 'Easy' in Newton

Massachusetts News ^ | April 17, 2003 | MassNews Staff

[Remedy]

It hasn't been easy teaching children about homosexuality in the Newton schools because many parents are not happy with the plan, a social worker told the attendees at one of the Fistgate sessions held this year at Tufts University.

"I work in the Newton public schools, and a lot of times it can be a very reactionary group, and it has not been easy at all," said Laura Perkins, who is a social worker in the schools.

Her session at Fistgate 2003 was about introducing six-year-olds to homosexual concepts. She shared books and sample lesson plans. The session was titled, "Developing Lessons that Help Young Students Understand Human Differences."

"What I do is to go into classrooms and teach kids about respect for human differences and to teach social skills lessons," she said, adding, "I have been asked to train new teachers in how to do some of these lessons. The new teachers are being trained to do this."

Several participants were from Brookline's public schools, including two first-grade co-teachers from the Devotion School and a 3rd-through-5th grade learning center teacher.

"It seems like the climate at the [Devotion] School is much more open than a lot of schools," commented Perkins, who then lamented the obstacles she faces in Newton.

She asked group members what teaching methods they currently use in their classrooms. One of the Devotion School teachers replied that she already does "a lot of stuff about similarities and differences . . . sort of getting [the children] to broaden their definition of what's smart or what's good or what's acceptable. And we talk a lot about teasing, and a lot about rules that people think there are, but that really aren't there. Like, people think there's a rule that boys can't like pink or wear pink or like to do certain things. That rule really doesn't exist, but people behave as if they do. So in this class, there isn't a rule, and we're not going to pretend that there's a rule."

Perkins said that children, who have language-based learning disabilities or who are mentally retarded, tend to think in such literal terms that they "really sometimes do have trouble grasping these ideas" that "a family can have two moms or two dads. So, sometimes it takes working with the parents as well to help them to talk to their children about it, so that they're hearing it in different places."

Get In Front of Parents Early On

Perkins recommended educators take a pro-active lead in setting ground rules with parents during the first open house of the school year:

"It's good just to state it right at open house. Talk about the kind of climate that you're trying to create in the classroom. Let parents know that you're going to be intervening if there's any teasing or name-calling, and that occasionally kids do use terms like 'retarded' or 'gay' as insults, and you will intervene and have a discussion about that if that happens."

Should parents want to know what a teacher is going to say in that situation, Perkins advised, "I would at that point tell them that I would define those words for the kids, and they're going to want to know how you define it.

"So the definition that I give to parents of an elementary school person, and this is what I use for the kids, is I say to kids that someone who is gay is someone, is a man who would be in a loving or romantic relationship with another man rather than a woman, and a lesbian is a woman who would be in a loving or a romantic relationship [with another woman], which she isn't necessarily in a relationship, but that is who she'd be in a relationship with."

Perkins conceded that she does not use the term "sexual orientation" with kids because, "It's too charged for the parents. I think if it's charged for the kids, it's really charged for the parents."

She actually does explain the difference between friendship and romance to children: "And parents will say to me, 'They're little kids, how do they know about romantic? What does that mean?' And I'll say, 'Well, I actually do explain that to kids.' You know, I say, 'Does that mean that if you're friends with a boy who's friends with a boy, does that mean he's gay?' And they'll say 'No.' And I'll say, 'That's right, it's different, that's a friendship. I'm not talking about friendship. I'm talking about moms and dads who've fallen in love, and then they want to live together and raise a family.'"

One method Perkins uses to explain the difference between friendship and romance to small children is fairy tales: "Again, with learning disabilities, you're dealing with sometimes kids who think very literally, so I'll say things like, 'In Cinderella, the story of Cinderella, the relationship between the Prince and Cinderella. . . that's a romantic relationship, or Sleeping Beauty and the prince.' And they get [that]. That seems to help them grasp that idea that it's not a friendship; it's a different concept."

When asked by one participant if she has ever had negative reactions from parents, Perkins agreed she has, and illustrated the ostracism some children face when their parents refuse to let them be indoctrinated: "I've had parents who've been kind about it and great about it, and I've had parents who've asked that their child be removed from any lesson in which we're going to deal with that.

"In fact, there's one parent who's asked that his child not have anything to do with me, so that child has had to be removed. I do social skills lessons in grades one and three, and that child had to be removed every time I came to do that in the classroom. We found something else for her to do, like go to the library and water the plants. I felt so bad. She was one of the kids who loved the lessons the most."

Perkins added, "There are always parents whose religion actually says that it [homosexuality] is a sin. I don't want to disrespect anyone's religion, and I'll tell parents that, but we do want every child to feel safe and comfortable in the school.

"If kids are getting teased and harassed, they're not going to be able to work. They're not going to be able to concentrate on their learning. So this is actually for the protection of people's learning so that they're able to learn best. So it really does go along with the goals of education, that every child has the right to be comfortable."

Perkins passed out several children's books for class participants to examine. She called Families are Different a "wonderful book" for kindergarten and first graders. However, "It does not show gay and lesbian families, so what I'll do is, I'll read the kids the book, then ask them if there are any kinds of families that are not represented. I actually have kids who have lesbian parents who do not say that their family wasn't represented, which is troubling to me. I question, are they getting the idea that I'm asking, or are they ashamed or are they uncomfortable? So then I'll sit and talk about families with two moms and two dads."

Good books for introducing the concept of "allies" include Oliver Button is a Sissy for first graders and Teammates, a story about African American baseball player Jackie Robinson, for third graders.

"When a child is being laughed at," said Perkins, "it's important to stop the class and say, 'Is there anybody who's going to be this child's ally? Something is going on; someone needs help. Who is going to show their support by being an ally?'

"I've had a whole class practically dissolve in laughter in front of me because I used the word 'gay'. And when that happens you have a choice: Should you stop or should you just go on and ignore the issues or stop and discuss it? And I stop and discuss it and ask them why they're laughing. And they'll really try to avoid the subject, but then usually someone will spill the beans, and then I'll go into the definition, and why it's hurtful to laugh about it."

Another resource Perkins recommends for first graders is Zinnia and Dot, a "conflict resolution" story about two mother hens who fight over a single egg after a weasel steals the others in their nests. When the chick hatches, the hens realize that it does not matter who originally laid the egg. The story reads, "Never before was a baby chick so loved, growing up with not one, but two mother hens." When Perkins finishes reading the story, she asks children, "Does this look like a happy family?" When the kids answer "Yes," Perkins explains, "This story is about a hen family, but in some human families there are two moms or two dads."

Perkins admitted that My Two Uncles, the story of a girl who does not understand the conflict her grandfather has with his gay son (the girl's uncle) and his male sex partner, may be too sophisticated for first and second graders because of its explicit definitions of "gay" and "lesbian," but "I have great discussions in third grade with kids about it." She noted that one of her former principals asked her not to use the book because of parents' negative reactions.

Chicken Sunday, for grades 3 through 5, talks about the Holocaust and shows a drawing of a man with a concentration camp tattoo on his arm. Perkins said she uses the story to talk to children about groups of people who were persecuted in Germany during World War II, "and that one of the groups was gays and lesbians, and I'll define it for them, and [talk] about how it seems like all that persecution was about fear of differences and about not understanding people who are different, and that is one of the reasons we are emphasizing understanding differences."

Perkins, who identified herself as "straight" during the session, concluded, "I think it's more the parents who should go to a psychiatrist to become comfortable with who their child is."

[Feldkurat_Katz]

Expressing an opinion is “howling?”

If not backed up by facts, it is.

I have no idea how many libel lawsuits the MassNews has won or lost, nor is it relevant to their long and unbroken history of blatant distortions and lies.

It is relevant because homosexual fanatic's accusation of "blatant distortions and lies" is an opinion whereas a libel judgement is a fact.

[EdReform]

"The article suggests that they were directly citing the presentation at the conference. How do they know what was said in that workshop?"

"Ever go to the theater? You buy a ticket and you see the performance... If you want to know what goes on at their conference then do what I did: Buy a ticket and attend."

You think maybe the reporter attended the conference and then wrote the article? There's no law that says a reporter can't quote what a workshop presenter said during a presentation. Or are you going to try to twist M.G.L to say that a pencil and paper is an illegal recording device?

[scripter]

Thanks for the ping. It is articles like this that should encourage us to tell everyone we know exactly what they are teaching our kids. Please copy and paste the URL below into your mail program and send it to everyone you know:

http://www.massnews.com/2003_Editions/4_April/041703_mn_teaching_kindergarten_kids_human_differences_in_newton.shtml

Other links regarding homosexuality and schools:

• Conservatives Warn Parents about Homosexual 'Day o  FR 
• Students explore lesbian, gay issues 
• Fistgate to be Held Again on March 15 [2003]  FR 
• The Deception and Desensitization of America's You  FR 
• Parent Alleges Harassment for Exposing 'Fistgate'  FR 
• Canada OKs pro-'gay' books for kids  FR 
• 'Heterosexism' Under Attack in Canada  FR 
• Challenging the Homosexual Fury In Our Government   FR 
• Fistgate 
• From Tolerance to Affirmation: One School's Experi 
• Gay Activists Training Teachers in Special Curricu 
• (Gay) School Days 
• Gay School Teacher Initially Booked with Almost 40 
• Kids Get Graphic Instruction In Homosexual Sex 
• "Making Schools Safe" Means "Refashioning Values" 
• NEA And GLSEN Seek To Stifle Free Speech 
• Schools Could Be Sued For Teaching About Homosexua 
• Texas A&M gay group wishes death on Republicans 
• Unsafe at Any Grade  FR 

  Homosexual Agenda Index

  Homosexual Agenda Keyword Search

  All FreeRepublic Bump Lists

[EdReform]

"Queering Elementary Education: Advancing the Dialogue about Sexualities and Schooling, Edited by William J. Letts IV and James T. Sears, Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc., 1999, 291 pages"

An excerpt from:

Book Review - Queering Elementary Education: Advancing the Dialogue about Sexualities in Schooling

Progressive Perspectives
Vol. 4, No. 1, John Dewey Project on Progressive Education, Spring 2002
College of Education and Social Services, University of Vermont

"Queering Elementary Education is unique because as it's title suggests it does not apologize for the stance that it takes, nor does it wallow in the problems of being homosexual in a heterosexist society. It is a book all educators should read whether they are elementary school teachers, administrators, or college professors. It challenges assumptions about how we view education and how we view caring for children. Edited by William J. Letts IV and James T. Sears, it offers many perspectives on the various aspects of elementary education and the myriad ways it is heterosexist.

In the first chapter James T. Sears proposes several ideas that appear throughout the book: speaking the unspoken by teaching about queer issues in elementary school, homosexuality as part of the human condition, and asserting that heterosexism and homophobia are acquired or learned beliefs. Bickmore asks, "why discuss sexuality in elementary school?” and answers “given the amount of (mis)information about gender relations and sexuality that flows freely these days in public spaces, media and peer groups, elementary educators could not prevent children from acquiring sexual information even if they wanted to do so"(p. 15). These concepts as well as others are discussed in various ways throughout the book..."

An excerpt from:

Queering Elementary Education - Book Review By Jack Nichols, GayToday.com

"Probably no other title in the pantheon of liberationist literature will evoke more controversy than Queering Elementary Education. If there was an unseemly uproar over Daddy's Roommate and Heather Has Two Mommies, just wait till the Religious Reich spies this august tome on some thoughtful teacher's shelf.

Its editors, both educators, have provided what some see as a companion volume to the award-winning film, It's Elementary. They take it for granted that children in the earliest grades have already been introduced "through schoolyard and media" to the concept of same sex love and affection, that most remain confused about it and that it is best to begin demystification processes early in life rather than allowing mistaken perceptions to take root.

It's Elementary's producer, Debra Chasnof, exults: "What a relief to finally have such a thoughtful collection of essays and research to back up what we've found in schools across the nation... an examination of the ways children's lives are hurt by homophobia and an inspiring array of strategies educators can use to turn this problem around."...

The American Pediatric Association recently called for the teaching of sexuality to begin by the middle of elementary school. Dr. Sears requests that Queering readers remember that "by the time boys and girls have become teenagers they have well-developed gender and sexual scripts: how boys and girls should behave, who makes up a family, and so on. These become our cultural straightjackets that cultivate the homophobia and sexism we see in the adult world."

"Rather than focussing on reducing such prejudices, shouldn't we consider how not to instill, foster, or intensify these prejudices in the first place?" he asks. Queering Elementary Education begins with "Foundational Issues" answering queries such as "Why Discuss Sexuality in Elementary School?".

The book's second section deals with children's sexual and social development, including supposed effects of being taught by openly gay teachers. Part three looks at possible curriculums, examining and critiquing the "heteronormative nature of elementary school science." Part four deals with family ties while the final section examines educators and their allies..."

[Adder]

So I take it you disagree with some of the quoted sources? how's come?

[Ga Rob]

"who are mentally retarded, tend to think in such literal terms that they "really sometimes do have trouble grasping these ideas" that "a family can have two moms or two dads"...

I guess I'm retarded now as well as being a racist, homophobe, bigot!!!!

[ladylib]

I've heard of that happening before. Either the kid never gets to take the textbook home or the teacher tells the kid not to discuss what they learned in class that day.

[Noumenon]

Everything she said and showed me was a lie.

Did you confront the liar? Get in her face in a public manner? That's what it takes.

[JonathansMommie]

You got to be kidding me..are these people on crack? U know my Mother in law would like that.

[Scothia]

A family I knew that lived in the Clyde/North Rose school district (northeast of Rochester) in the late 80's had the heartwarming experience of sending their 16 year-old daughter to what they thought was a field trip to a museum. Instead, the girls in her class were takent to Planned Parenthood and fitted for diaphragms. After that, they were told not to tell their parents, because it was a privacy issue. The girl went right home and told her mom and dad.

I don't know what legal action they took, but I do know that from the next day on all their kids were homeschooled.

[ladylib]

Whoever did that should have been brought up on charges. There have been cases where school administrators take pregnant girls to abortion clinics without the parents knowledge.

Many public schools are doing a very good job of putting a wedge between parents and kids.

[Noumenon]

So are you in full agreement with the material and the agendas advanced at the workshop you mention in your post? Simple question - are you willing to field it and defend your answer?

[Scothia]

Did you confront the liar? Get in her face in a public manner? That's what it takes.

The school closed ranks. And I was a lot less an activist than I am now; at the time I just let it go. All I wanted was to get my kid out of there.

[ladylib]

Check out this site:

http://www.edwatch.org/

Scroll down the left side of the page until you come to "Battlefield Quotes" and click on that.

This is what public education is all about, and it is succeeding beyond its wildest dreams.

[netmilsmom]

No, this is how it is in the public schools. Thank God you have free K12 in Ohio.

[iconoclast]

Thank God you have free K12 in Ohio.

??????????????

[Remedy]

my size 10 in a baseball shoe.