Takoma the dolphin is Awol

timesonline (UK) ^ | 3/29/03 | Daniel McGrory

[Rebelbase]

THE US Marines have suffered an embarrassment with reports last night that one of their most prized investigators may have defected.

Takoma, the Atlantic bottle-nosed dolphin, had been in Iraq for 48 hours when he went missing on his first operation to snoop out mines.

His handler, Petty Officer Taylor Whitaker, had proudly showed off Takoma’s skills and told how the 22-year-old dolphin was among the most pampered creatures in the American military.

Takoma and his fellow mine hunters have a special diet, regular medical checks and their own sleeping quarters, which is more than can be said for the vast majority of the military whose domestic arrangements are basic, to say the least.

The wayward Takoma set out on the first mission with his comrade, Makai, watched by the cameras as the pair of dolphins somersaulted over the inflatable dinghy carrying their handlers.

Takoma’s role was to sweep the way clear for the arrival of the Royal Fleet Auxiliary, Sir Galahad. US officials had said that dolphins, first used in Vietnam, were a far better bet than all the technology on board the flotilla of ships.

Petty Officer Whitaker had tempted fate by saying: “Why would they go missing when they have the best food and daily spruce-ups and health checks?” Two hours later Takoma had gone Awol. “Twenty-four hours is not unusual,” a nervous Petty Officer Whitaker said. “After all, he may meet some local company.”

Takoma has now been missing for 48 hours and the solitary figure of Petty Officer Whitaker could be seen yesterday patting the water, calling his name and offering his favourite fish, but there was no response.

[Rebelbase]

Maybe Takoma met a cute dark-eyed arabain bottlenose and forgot all about the war.

[b4its2late]

Takoma has now been missing for 48 hours and the solitary figure of Petty Officer Whitaker could be seen yesterday patting the water, calling his name and offering his favourite fish, but there was no response.

After he's had enough of his lady dolphin, he'll be back.

[merrin]

He had gathered enough information on human military operations and returned to his people to prepare for the coming takeover of the planet and establishment of the Global Dolphin Imperium.

[talleyman]

He got drafted by Miami?

[anguish]

"So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish" (Douglas Adams)

[Rebelbase]

Yeah, i'd forgot about that. Is that connected with the dolphins with thumbs cloning project?

[smith288]

Rush was saying it shows that the dolphin knows its a voluntary job if he never came back. I bet he will return however.

[merrin]

Yeah, i'd forgot about that. Is that connected with the dolphins with thumbs cloning project?

"Cloning"? You're nuts!

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

LOL.. I wonder if he has any companionship back in San Diego? Could be he didn't know how to handle the distraction of chicks floating by as he was trying to get his work done.

[spodefly]

"Goodbye, and thanks for all the fish."

[ShadowDancer]

The Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy was more than Takoma could take.

[Samwise]

So long and thanks for the fish!

[Rebelbase]

"He got drafted by Miami?"

[HoustonCurmudgeon]

DAMN it Takoma MINES not MATES. stupid damn dol..........

[green team 1999]

surprised nobody say it yet-"born free" how the song goes.

[yankeedame]

THE US Marines have suffered an embarrassment with reports last night that one of their most prized investigators may have defected.

Hey, whadda ya goin' do? It's spring! (wink,wink, nudge,nudge)

[Dog]

Hope he is not sleeping with the peoples..

[dagnabbit]

The Defense Department is downplaying reports that Takoma had been acting aloof and had recently asked to be called by a new name "Mohammad Al-Flipper".

Capt. Omar Farooq, one of the Defense Department's 14 Muslim chaplins, acknowledged he had been counseling Takoma in recent weeks, but denied involvement in the animal's dissapearance, saying "Al-Flipper and I are just as patriotic as you infidels".

[DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet]

ROTFL

[N8VTXNinWV]

lol! he's 'twiterpated'!