O.J. No Longer ’100 Percent Sure’ He is Innocent

MSNBC ^ | 10.16.02 | Andy Borowitz

[RedBloodedAmerican]

Calls Johnnie Cochran’s recent statements ‘thought provoking’

Days after former O. J. Simpson defense attorney Johnnie Cochran said on MSNBC that he is “about 90 percent” certain that his client was innocent, Mr. Simpson today said that his attorney had planted “fresh seeds of doubt” in his own mind.

“FOR YEARS, I’VE BEEN pretty sure that I did not murder my wife,” Simpson said today at a golf course in Boca Raton, Fla., where he was taking a rare break from searching for the real killers of his wife. “But if Johnnie’s not 100 percent sure, I’m like, hey, maybe I better take another look at this.”

Simpson added that it would be “crazy” not to be swayed by Cochran’s new statements, which he called “thought provoking.”

“Look, you’re talking about a guy, Johnnie Cochran, who is a pretty smart guy,” Simpson said. “If he said maybe I did it, then maybe I did it.”

Cochran’s doubts about Simpson’s innocence may help resolve one lingering mystery for the former Heisman Trophy winner: why it has been so difficult for him to find his wife’s real killers, whom he pledged to hunt down after his acquittal in 1995.

< snip >

“If it turns out that I’m actually the one who did it, then looking for the real killers would be a big old waste of time,” Simpson said.

[RedBloodedAmerican]

I think his head hit the astro-turf one too many times.

[laredo44]

I think his head hit the astro-turf one too many times.

In that case, my sympathy goes out to the turf.

[Woodman]

Too bad TB didn't note that this is from the Humor Columnist.

[Brewer]

That's kind of like the blond that was told by the doctor that she was pregnant and she said, "Are you sure it's mine"?

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

Already posted and it's supposed to be funny. Ha. Ha.

[RedBloodedAmerican]

Look at that; it sure is. A search using "O.J." and "Simpson" turned up no results. Please notify the police. Thanks. Ha Ha.

[IncPen]

I see from reading replies above that this is supposed to be funny. No offense to you, RBA, but this case divided the country right down the middle and convinced people across the board who had never seen it themselves that the 'justice system' is nothing but a ginned up fraud.

That the author if this piece thinks it funny to reopen these wounds (what must the Goldman and Brown families think of this) is... well, it ain't nice

[RedBloodedAmerican]

I took it as mocking OJ's stupidity.

[FourtySeven]

I knew Simpson was insane when I saw the clip of him giving an interview to some poor "reporterette" after his "not guilty" verdict. At one point in the interview, just for "fun", he pretended to stab her with a bannana.

It was then I knew he'd lost all touch with reality; thus, this doesn't shock me one bit.

[oyez]

Has anyone ask him about how the search for the real killers is comming? Maybe he should look somewhere besides a golf course.

[Arthur Wildfire! March]

Is the humor column fiction or nonfiction? If this is what he actually said, then he might be gloating.

[johnny7]

OJ has been involved in girl-beatings and road-rage since he murdered Brown and Goldman.

He's a violent dude and will kill again.

[PhiKapMom]

This is not funny!

[Graewoulf]

What a relief this must be for ol' Orange Juice! Now he can FINALLY spend time on the golf course instead of obeying his pledge to "spend the rest of my life looking for Nicole's killer."

Selective memory is such a fragile thing ...

[P-Marlowe]

well, it ain't nice

Geez, get a life. Nothing in this life is nice and nothing that is funny does not offend someone. Quit acting like a feelings-first liberal and laugh about this. This is funny. I'd be willing to bet that even those whose feelings you are soooooooo "sensitive" to would think it is funny too.

Geez, you can't make jokes in America anymore because there is always someone like you looking out for the sensitivites of everyone and their brothers. There was a time in America when people thought Humor was funny. Now it is merely offensive. That is sad.

[Corin Stormhands]

Look at that; it sure is. A search using "O.J." and "Simpson" turned up no results. Please notify the police.

I hope the two of you will not stop until you have located the real poster...

[Woodman]

No clue? I was trying to figure it out myself.

[logic101.net]

I don't have alot of repect for the intelegence of any pro-athlete, but come on! I don't think this one is that stupid! This was a made up story.

MARK A SITY
http://www.logic101.net/

[San Jacinto]

...but this case divided the country right down the middle ...

Yeah, if "right down the middle" means 90% on one side and 10% on the other.