Posted on 09/24/2002 7:24:29 PM PDT by KLT
Dont ask me why, but it wont be long before AK47s replace dollars as world currency.
Dont ask me why, but no man is his brothers keeper, no matter how desperately Bill Clintons brother needs one.
Dont ask me why, but the French are incapable of forgiving Americans for the sacrifices we made on their behalf.
Dont ask me why, but if success went to Norman Mailers head, it had to be introduced rectally.
Dont ask me why, but the Clintons will finally find a true way to express the depth of their caring about children by becoming a pimp and his ho working Sesame Street.
Dont ask me why, but most Las Vegas bookmakers will lay odds of eight to five that Senator Leahy doesn't urinate standing up.
Dont ask me why, but Bill Clinton will eventually return to Washington in his natural role as an ombudsman for needy traitors.
Dont ask me why, but it would not surprise me if Halle Berry complained about the Oscar statuette she was awarded because it did not include batteries.
Dont ask me why, but the Clinton Library would make an ideal annex to the Kremlin.
Dont ask me why, but Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein would have made ideal groupies for Rasputin.
Dont ask me why, but Americas best chance of success against Iraq can only begin by divesting itself of faithless allies.
Dont ask me why, but the Civil Rights Movement has become a cancer on American demographics.
Dont ask me why, but if compassion is not just a George W. Bush political ploy, then it has to be something infinitely worse.
Dont ask me why, but the people with the least at stake in this country have the loudest voices.
Dont ask my why, but the perfect metaphor for comparing the relative merits of liberals and conservatives is Hillary Clintons and Ann Coulters legs.
Dont ask me why, but it is no accident that Hollywood keeps making films that celebrate U.S. military defeats such as Pearl Harbor, Black Hawk Down - and any Viet Nam debacle that is a target of opportunity for unpatriotic exploitation.
Dont ask me why, but political correctness is a crock of shit, and anyone with an IQ of more than one digit will not be bound by it.
Dont ask me why, but in times of stress, the vertebrae of Trent Lotts spine telescopes shut.
Dont ask me why, but if a movie star accidentally showed up at the Academy Awards Show with his fly open, the next day there wouldnt be a closed zipper in Hollywood. (So much for originality in Lotusland.)
Dont ask me why, but Democrats in Congress will soon propose making Hamas a member of NAFTA.
Dont ask my why, but even if Hillary Clinton is not elected the first woman President, she will probably find a way to sleep with the woman who is.
Dont ask me why, but in politically correct schools, children will soon be taught that the main industry of Vermont is choreography.
Dont ask me why, but in all his movies, Alan Alda manages to degrade the common experience. Dont ask me why, but Chelsea will eventually settle in perpetuity on her old clenched hairdo.
Dont ask me why, but after youve worked a while in the entertainment industry success and failure begin to feel exactly the same.
Dont ask me why, but politicians who claim to be Bill Clintons most ardent detractors head for their burrows when it comes time to be counted on the actual detracting.
Dont ask me why, but journalists never seem happier than when they are on television trying to talk over each other.
Dont ask me why, but if not for Affirmative Action, universities would be unable to graduate enough imbeciles equipped to trifle with Existence.
Dont ask me why, but if so many blacks idea of a good white man is Bill Clinton, its no wonder they hate the rest of us.
Dont ask me why, but AIDS may be Gods way of saying Enough, already! to sexual diversity.
Dont ask me why, but every time Saddam Hussein issues a threat to the American people, Al Gore issues a threat to the American people.
Dont ask me why, but as power goes, George Washington used it least - and is the President loved most.
Dont ask me why, but this country deserves better than Berkeley.
Dont ask me why, but it would not surprise me if it was a jealous Democrat who fed the ammo to the guy behind the grassy knoll.
Dont ask me why, but the first person to be listed in the Guinness Book of Racial Hatred will definitely not be a Caucasian.
Dont ask me why, but TV is ready for a dumb adventure series called Geraldo of Arabia.
Dont ask me why, but among high school girls, cocaine will not replace sperm as the drug of choice.
Dont ask me why, but it would save Americans some valuable time if the movie theater owners would move the candy counters into the rest rooms.
Dont ask me why, but the more appropriate word should be crap-erations.
and
Dont ask me why, but the Bush Administration is part of the Clinton Legacy.
Norman Liebmann is a former television writer [Johnny Carson; Dean Martin; wrote and produced "Chico and the Man" and created the characters for "The Munsters" (who are all named after his relatives)] and a brilliantly insightful columnist/humorist and contributor to BSNN.
Please visit his Web site, Firehat, a treasure trove of Clinton- and media-bashing. E-mai: firehat@adelphia.net.
© 2002 www.BSNN.net /Nathan Porter All Rights Reserved
2. Don't ask me why, but still not a d*mn one of this lines is either clever or funny.
Oh yea...& don't let the consummate bottom line in assholes & boor without equal phase ya, Kar.
Just fart in Its general direction.
~OR, try this??
Ask the loser to tell ya about his exwife!!
How she's [justifiably] putting the screws to the miserable SOB.
The weiner's being crucified as payment for his angry, bitter, bulling treatment of her, y'know??
Yea, the EVIL piece of fecal matter DESERVES every inch she puts it to 'em!!
BWWWAHAAAA...yessss!
There "is" justice!!! :o)
That line of questioning should shut the loser up; but, then again?
...that loser's not an especially *bright* bulb, either.
FReegards...MUD
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