35 Things Not to Say to a Cop!

StrangeCosmos.com ^ | 8-25-02 | Strange Cosmos

[KLT]

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People band?

4. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me. Good job.

5. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a

police officer.

6. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

7. Bad cop, no donut.

8. You're not going to check the trunk are you?

9. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

10. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on COPS?

11. Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's

night stand.

12. Is it true that people become cops because they're too dumb to work at

McDonalds?

13. I pay your salary.

14. So uh, you on the take or what?

15. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a

warning.

16. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us knows.

17. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other

cars around, that's how far ahead they are.

18. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" YOU'RE the trained

specialist.

19. Well officer, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun

fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal,

forcing me to speed out of control.

20. Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.

21. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

22. No, YOU assume the position.

23. I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts is having a 3 for 1

special!

24. If I bend over, will I still get a ticket?

25. No, offi, offic,lucifer...I'm not as think you are drunk I am. I swear

to dog.

26. No, I don't know how fast I was going. The little needle stops at 110

mph.

27. Back off Barney, I've got a piece.

28. But officer, I've got 2 different drivers licenses from 2 different

states! Pick ONE!

29. I know I was weaving, but I was trying to hit all the little green

men!

30. On the way to the station, let's get a six pack, oh and don't forget

the cig's.

31. Come on, write the stupid ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!

32. Hey, wasn't your daughter a porn queen?

33. How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.

34. So that's what those yellow flashing lights in the school zone mean.

35. What do you use those rubber gloves for anyway?

[TBall]

I thought #8 was the best. One thing about cops is that they rarely give each other tickets. One time I was a passenger in a friend's car and he got pulled over doing about 100 mph. We were in Northern Virginia and not on some secluded desert road. The friend who was off duty at the time showed his badge and was told to slow it down. That was all that happened.

[yournamehere]

I don't think I'll be taking a drive with ANY of the folks on this post anytime soon..

[Billthedrill]

50. "Oh, for Pete's sake, can't you people make up your minds? First you take my license away, and now you want to see it..."

[Vic3O3]

ping!

[weegee]

Old joke/UL:

A woman is pulled over by a highway patrol officer. She says to him, "Did you pull me over to sell me a ticket to the Patrol Officers' Ball?"

Realizing her mistake, she quickly followed with, "Oh, wait! I forgot. Highway Patrol Officers don't have balls."

In the Urban Legend, she gets out of the ticket.

[KLT]

Here is a Freeper who knows what to say....OMG...how many times have you been in lockup....LOL

[KLT]

OMG Bill...here, they lock you up for driving with a suspended license...In NY...we don't fool around...if you smile, you're in trouble...

[KLT]

Bumpity Bump Bump

[Clemenza]

1. Do I smell bacon? Oink, Oink!

2. Is it true men join the police force to "compensate" for thier "shortcomings."

3. So, how's life on the White Man's Welfare, er, Police Force.

[ErnBatavia]

If it's a female cop.... Put 'em on the glass, Baby!

LMFAOTIFDAPIMP!!!!

[WaterDragon]

I think I'll just copy this list, print it out on flowery paper, hand it to the cop when I'm stopped. Let him enjoy it at his leisure.

Then again, I'm so law-abiding that I never get stopped! Hmmm, that kid down the street might like to have this list to distribute to all the cops he meets.

[jmax]

Got to drive !!! I'm too drunk to walk !!

[ErnBatavia]

LMFAOTIFDAPIMP!!!!

Laugh my friggin ass off til I fall down and pee in my pants...............

[KLT]

You know jmax....I've always got to drive....Won't say when though...

[Paulus Invictus]

How about this real case that happened to a guy I know who was just elected to the county commission: Some years back, he and his girl friend were speeding through town when the cops pulled him over and told him how fast he was going. The guy began to argue about the alleged speed violation and it got pretty hot. The girl friend then cooked his goose when she leaned over and told the cop, "you never should argue with Jay when he's drunk."

[PatrioticAmerican]

Just once...just last week. Man, that sucked.

[PatrioticAmerican]

#50 - LOL!!! I bet someone has actually said that!

[KLT]

Oh yeah...I'll bet PA...gotta be more careful out there, my good friend...hope everything works out for you...

FreeGards From The Socialist Republic Of NY,

Karen AKA KLT