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Slave-Owner Descendants Demand Reparations
Source: BSNN ^ | 05/27/02 | By Lazamataz

Posted on 05/28/2002 8:33:23 AM PDT by Lazamataz

MACON, GA (LAZNEWS) – A lawsuit launched to reclaim damages suffered by the owners of slaves and their descendant has moved to the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals.

The suit names the United States Government, the NAACP, and several companies that supported Abolition in the 1800’s, most notably Con-Edison and the various Bell companies, which descended from the Morse Telegraph Company. Con-Edison was formed from Edison Company, and the Bell Telephone descended from the Morse Telegraph Company – both staunch opponents of slavery in the nineteenth century.

"The robbery of our legal property will never be forgotten, never forgiven," remarked Samuel Whipback, "Our family was ruined by the Emancipation Proclamation. We demand reparations, now!"

Whipback’s family, who was black, owned over 400 slaves at the end of the Civil War. County property records show that the Whipback plantation was sold in 1872 to satisfy property tax obligations.

"Our family has suffered 130 years of destitution by having our property stripped from us," lamented George Denywater, "I thought America was based on respect for property rights. When are we getting our check?"

Sen. Robert Byrd, (D-WV) introduced legislation into the full Senate today to claim reparations for the descendants of these slave owners. Said Byrd, "We must never forget, the vestiges of this crime against humanity must be repaired."


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Government; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: funnystuff; haha; heehee; hoho; parody
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To: =Intervention=
Slavery wasn't even a central theme of the Confederacy, poobah.

Reparations for Slave Owners NOW!

21 posted on 05/28/2002 9:06:27 AM PDT by Lazamataz
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To: =Intervention=
Slavery wasn't even a central theme of the Confederacy, poobah.

It wasn't? An interesting thesis, completely supported by the facts. Slavery was constitutionally protected; all of the seceding states listed slavery as their prime motivation for leaving; to argue otherwise is akin to the Clinton Administration aide who said that he lied to his diary. Your attempt to tar supporters of the South as racists is disengenious at best.

Gee, I wasn't even attempting that. I'm just saying that in both cases, it's over, and the arm-waving about either subject is getting a wee bit old.

Remember that part that says, no personal attacks in posts? Perhaps you forgot that...

If you could name the Freeper I personally attacked, I might agree with you.

22 posted on 05/28/2002 9:09:27 AM PDT by Poohbah
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To: Miss Marple; Oneidam; Guenevere; Molly Pitcher; ken5050
Hey, it could happen.
23 posted on 05/28/2002 9:09:49 AM PDT by Lazamataz
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To: Lazamataz; rohry
Thanks for the laugh. BUMP!
24 posted on 05/28/2002 9:13:41 AM PDT by Tauzero
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To: =Intervention=
Hmm. Looks like I misread the post. My error. But it's always hilarious to see that the folks who have the most problem with the Confederacy, reenactment, state's rights, and so on are bigoted Yankees once again trying to deny the cultural expression of Southerners.

I hold no brief whatsoever for the policies of the Confederacy. I acknowledge that the Civil War is an important part of American history, and hold that any attempt to censor its symbols (such as the Confederate flag) is not only Constitutionally indefensible, it's morally wrong, on the basis of trying to destroy history--the good, the bad, and the ugly.

You can do anything you want in the U.S.A, except raise a rebel flag or celebrate Southern heritage. Do that and you'll be told to "get over it." Hilarious.

Check the calendar: the war ended a long time ago. The folks who keep trying to glorify the Confederacy as mankind's noblest hope and paint the Union as some sort of two-headed ogre are on the same moral plane as those who seek to destroy the Confederacy through symbolic annihilation--in both cases, violence needs to be done to the historic record.

I guess they feel threatened at some level or have to constantly stick their noses into other people's business. Live and let live. Perhaps it is you who needs to get over being offended by other people's culture? Hmm?

I'm not offended by the presence of a rebel flag. I am offended by the continual efforts to rewrite the Confederacy into some sort of noble crusade of The-Godly-Southron-Elect against Those-Evil-Yankees-Whose-Feet-Stank-and-Didn't-Believe-in-Jesus. The legal arguments for unilateral secession were weak to begin with, and the actions of Jefferson Davis et al with respect to Fort Sumter destroyed whatever legitimacy their cause had.

25 posted on 05/28/2002 9:21:15 AM PDT by Poohbah
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To: hillyes
YES THERE WERE BLACK SLAVEHOLDERS
26 posted on 05/28/2002 9:22:45 AM PDT by Maceman
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To: Lazamataz
Hilarious bump.
27 posted on 05/28/2002 9:23:45 AM PDT by mommya
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To: Lazamataz
I thought getting hitched would make you smarter.......... TC has her work cut out for her :o)

BTW ya had me till I got to Mr "Whipback".......

Stay Safe !

28 posted on 05/28/2002 9:30:17 AM PDT by Squantos
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To: Lazamataz
Unconstitutional amendment!

Now there's an oxymoron!

Although actually there were some amazing shenanigans performed to get it passed. They violated at minimum the spirit of the amendment process.

29 posted on 05/28/2002 9:32:29 AM PDT by Restorer
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To: Poohbah
lincoln, (the war criminal that destroyed the Constitution and put us on the path to the federal govt. behemoth we now enjoy), started the war by attempting to re-provision a fort that belonged to the state of South Carolina. Get your facts straight, son.
30 posted on 05/28/2002 9:33:35 AM PDT by rebelyell
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To: rebelyell
Fort Sumter belonged to the State of South Carolina? Is that your argument?

You are proceeding from an incorrect statement. The land had been purchased by the Federal government. The State of South Carolina had not bought it from the Federal government, therefore it still belonged to the Federal government. (Secession tends to get messy when dealing with who owns what; South Carolina chose the thieves' option, which was guaranteed to start a war eventually.)

31 posted on 05/28/2002 9:40:15 AM PDT by Poohbah
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To: Tauzero; Lazamataz
Thanks for the humor bump!

Now I'm getting out of here as it looks like this thread is about to become a War Between the States re-enactment...

32 posted on 05/28/2002 9:41:14 AM PDT by rohry
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To: Lazamataz
Love it. Thanks for the laugh.
33 posted on 05/28/2002 9:46:06 AM PDT by sistergoldenhair
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To: Mortin Sult
In fact, slavery was exceedingly dumb, and slaveowners made more money hiring slaves out as tenant farmers than they did by keeping them as slaves. Emancipation literally and factually improved the otherwise failing economy of the south, so this is a dumb notion.

A classic example of not understanding the difference between capital and income. (Even assuming your statement is correct.)

The value of southern slaves was greater than the value of all the land in the South. Southerners had been investing their profits in slaves for decades, rather than in land, machinery or buildings.

It is possible that southern landowners indeed made a greater profit per sharecropper than per slave. But over half their capital had vanished.

This had a devastating impact on southern wealth, if nothing else on its ability to provide collateral to borrow money for capital improvements. Imagine the impact on the US today if almost 50% of our invested capital disappeared tomorrow.

I can't remember precisely, but I have seen some statements from contemporary articles claiming that each slave brought in $200-300 per year for the owner, while costing him about $20 to maintain on average. Sounds profitable to me!

BTW, the South in 1860 was at the height of its prosperity. Slaves were at their highest prices ever. Secession was at root a desperate attempt to maintain this prosperity and protect $4 billion in investment capital.

34 posted on 05/28/2002 9:46:38 AM PDT by Restorer
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To: Poohbah; rebelyell
I am firmly of the opinion that the War between the States was due to an overabundance of lemon taffy in the North, and a shortage of lemon taffy in the South.

Daffy Taffy Envy.

35 posted on 05/28/2002 9:48:02 AM PDT by Lazamataz
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To: Lazamataz
Darn, I had hoped it was true.

It's not nice to tease...

36 posted on 05/28/2002 9:48:43 AM PDT by El Sordo
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To: Lazamataz
This is truly sick and twisted. Definitely I have to question your posting this so soon after May 19th or maybe I got the day wrong. I presumed you and technochick99 would be far too busy to even consider posting for at least a wekk or two after the happy date or do I have the wrong date. If I do not have the wrong date you need to egt your priorities straight Uncle Harpseal will have a talk with you about how deal with the opposite sex who can know bettera man twice married never divorced. No you do not have to come up for air very often and when one does one gets back under water quickly.

Stay well - stay safe - Stay arm,ed - Yorktown - all the best to both of you

37 posted on 05/28/2002 10:00:46 AM PDT by harpseal
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To: Lazamataz
I was really hoping this was legitimate..... Dang you Laz...
38 posted on 05/28/2002 10:13:05 AM PDT by MadRobotArtist
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To: harpseal
I get a pass. She's in England on business. :o)

We honeymooned from May 21 to May 24. You will note there are NO posts from me or her during that period. :o)

39 posted on 05/28/2002 10:14:52 AM PDT by Lazamataz
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To: mhking
Call me crazy, but as of late, I've been stocking up on shells and rounds.

This reparations debacle, to me, is a perfect segue to an all-out race war. And my conservatism and stance against reparations will not spare me.

My skin will be my sin...

40 posted on 05/28/2002 10:22:02 AM PDT by rdb3
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