Cowboy Guide to Life (Texas Humor Break)

18 March 2002 | Unknown

[PetroniDE]

Sent from Yankee Brother-In-Law to a Yankee that moved South.

[Hawkeye's Girl]

Hehehe :D

[Bobisalwaysright]

13. There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

14. If a someone says there ain't no God, tell'em to go tell the cow, she'll understand better.

Amen!

[Flyer]

This all sounds like pretty darn good advice to me.

[ArGee]

Where is the humor in this all-too-sage advice.

There is one point missing. If your jeans have a rivet in the crotch, don't squat near the fire.

Shalom.

[Flyer]

15. If you find yourself north of Dallas, TURN AROUND!

[ArGee]

14. If a someone says there ain't no God, tell'em to go tell the cow, she'll understand better.

Bump!

Shalom.

[TexasNative2000]

'Don't try to talk yourself out of a problem if you acted your way into it.'

[Cyber Liberty]

"Next time you're feeling pretty powerful, try ordering somebody else's dog around."

[PetroniDE]

Try ordering a CAT around. They just sit there and look stupid.

[stlrocket]

A little more Texas Humor!

TEXAS SAYINGS

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM TEXAS IF...

[stlrocket]

A Native American, a Texan, and a Muslim

At a small airport terminal in Texas, three strangers awaiting their shuttle flight start conversing about the recent worldly events. The strangers were of varying cultures. One was Native American. Another was a Cowboy from West Texas. The other person was a devout Arab Muslim.

During their conversation, they began to discuss their cultural history.

The Native American stated "once my people were many, now we are few."

The Muslim then chimed in and arrogantly said, "once my people were few and now we are many."

The Cowboy looked at the Muslim, shifted the toothpick in his mouth and said with a sly grin, "that's cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet."

I just got this in the Strangecosmos.com newsletter.

[Warren]

If you find yourself north of Dallas, SPEED UP & THANK YER LUCKY STARS!
Head to California where the cool people *congregate.
*that means gather, for you ignorant Texans

[Arizona Pard]

Stay in Kalifornia, please!

[Flyer]

If you find yourself north of Dallas, SPEED UP & THANK YER LUCKY STARS! Head to California

If you're north of Dallas and speed up you're going to end up in Canada. But I guess there's "cool" people there, too.

[sinclair]

I remember you. You played a cop on the old Andy Griffith show.

[11B3]

There was a German, an Italian and a Redneck on death row. The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die:

1. to be shot
2. to be hung
3. to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." (Boom, he was dead instantly).

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." (Snap, he was dead.)

Then the Redneck said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the redneck fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy. Then the Redneck said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did.

Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over. Finally the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

The Redneck replied, "You guys are so stupid.....I'm wearing a condom!"

[otterpond]

Smile BUMP!

[oil]

Yeah - really cool people in California there, Warren. It's not called the land of fruits and nuts for nothing!

[Triple]

If you think cool people congregate in California, stay out of Texas.