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Cowboy Guide to Life (Texas Humor Break)
18 March 2002
| Unknown
Posted on 03/18/2002 11:00:38 AM PST by PetroniDE
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Sent from Yankee Brother-In-Law to a Yankee that moved South.
1
posted on
03/18/2002 11:00:38 AM PST
by
PetroniDE
To: PetroniDE
Hehehe :D
To: PetroniDE
13. There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works. 14. If a someone says there ain't no God, tell'em to go tell the cow, she'll understand better.
Amen!
To: PetroniDE
This all sounds like pretty darn good advice to me.
4
posted on
03/18/2002 11:07:33 AM PST
by
Flyer
To: PetroniDE
Where is the humor in this all-too-sage advice.
There is one point missing. If your jeans have a rivet in the crotch, don't squat near the fire.
Shalom.
5
posted on
03/18/2002 11:07:53 AM PST
by
ArGee
To: PetroniDE
15. If you find yourself north of Dallas, TURN AROUND!
6
posted on
03/18/2002 11:08:40 AM PST
by
Flyer
To: Khepera; JMJ333; dakmar; erizona; fiddlstix; Brad's Gramma; grlfrnd; spookbrat
14. If a someone says there ain't no God, tell'em to go tell the cow, she'll understand better. Bump!
Shalom.
7
posted on
03/18/2002 11:09:17 AM PST
by
ArGee
To: PetroniDE
'Don't try to talk yourself out of a problem if you acted your way into it.'
To: PetroniDE
"Next time you're feeling pretty powerful, try ordering somebody else's dog around."
To: Cyber Liberty
Try ordering a CAT around. They just sit there and look stupid.
To: PetroniDE
To: PetroniDE
A Native American, a Texan, and a Muslim
At a small airport terminal in Texas, three strangers awaiting their shuttle flight start conversing about the recent worldly events. The strangers were of varying cultures. One was Native American. Another was a Cowboy from West Texas. The other person was a devout Arab Muslim.
During their conversation, they began to discuss their cultural history.
The Native American stated "once my people were many, now we are few."
The Muslim then chimed in and arrogantly said, "once my people were few and now we are many."
The Cowboy looked at the Muslim, shifted the toothpick in his mouth and said with a sly grin, "that's cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet."
I just got this in the Strangecosmos.com newsletter.
To: Flyer
If you find yourself north of Dallas, SPEED UP & THANK YER LUCKY STARS!
Head to California where the cool people *congregate.
*that means gather, for you ignorant Texans
13
posted on
03/18/2002 11:19:10 AM PST
by
Warren
To: Warren
Stay in Kalifornia, please!
To: Warren
If you find yourself north of Dallas, SPEED UP & THANK YER LUCKY STARS! Head to CaliforniaIf you're north of Dallas and speed up you're going to end up in Canada. But I guess there's "cool" people there, too.
15
posted on
03/18/2002 11:23:28 AM PST
by
Flyer
To: Warren
I remember you. You played a cop on the old Andy Griffith show.
16
posted on
03/18/2002 11:26:51 AM PST
by
sinclair
To: PetroniDE
There was a German, an Italian and a Redneck on death row. The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die:
1. to be shot
2. to be hung
3. to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.
So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." (Boom, he was dead instantly).
Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." (Snap, he was dead.)
Then the Redneck said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the redneck fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy. Then the Redneck said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did.
Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over. Finally the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"
The Redneck replied, "You guys are so stupid.....I'm wearing a condom!"
17
posted on
03/18/2002 11:27:19 AM PST
by
11B3
To: January24th
Smile BUMP!
To: Warren
Yeah - really cool people in California there, Warren. It's not called the land of fruits and nuts for nothing!
19
posted on
03/18/2002 11:30:49 AM PST
by
oil
To: Warren
If you think cool people congregate in California, stay out of Texas.
20
posted on
03/18/2002 11:30:58 AM PST
by
Triple
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