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Parents drug use, sex lives steal focus: (Van Dam's reveal intimate details, more questions arise!)
Court TV ^ | March 16, 2002 | Court TV

Posted on 03/16/2002 12:09:40 PM PST by FresnoDA

Parents drug use, sex lives steal focus

 
photo

Brenda van Dam cries as she testifies Thursday about her daughter's disappearance.

SAN DIEGO (Court TV) — The parents of Danielle van Dam took the stand Thursday at a preliminary hearing for their daughter's accused killer and tearfully recalled the circumstances of the 7-year-old's abduction from her bedroom.

Asked what she found when she went to wake her daughter on the morning of Feb. 2, a red-eyed Brenda van Dam replied, "an empty bed."

But the girl's disappearance and murder quickly took a back seat to questions about her parents' drug use, drinking habits and sex life.

Brenda and Damon van Dam acknowledged smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol the night their daughter vanished from her bedroom. A lawyer for murder suspect David Westerfield also repeatedly quizzed the pair about rumors they were "swingers," sexually involved with others.

 

Danielle's father, Damon van Dam

Judge H. Ronald Domnitz precluded many of the questions as irrelevant, but Brenda van Dam admitted a female friend tried to grope her breasts in a bar that night. And her husband said he had a relationship with the same woman and had kissed and massaged her in his bed the night his daughter went missing.

Westerfield, a 50-year-old engineer who lived two doors down from the van Dams, is accused of kidnapping the second-grader from her bedroom the night of Feb. 1 and killing her. Her body, too decomposed to determine a cause of death, was discovered in a trash-strewn lot Feb. 27. Spots of Danielle's blood were found in Westerfield's recreational vehicle and on his jacket, according to police. They said they also recovered child pornography from his home and suspect a sexual motive.

At the close of the three-day hearing Thursday afternoon, Domnitz ruled there was sufficient evidence to try Westerfield for kidnapping and murder. He will be arraigned March 28. Prosecutors have not decided whether they will seek the death penalty.

Brenda van Dam, who like her husband wore a picture of her daughter on her lapel, testified that almost all of her contact with Westerfield came in the week preceding her daughter's abduction. On Jan. 25, she said, she saw him at Dad's, a neighborhood bar where she had gone with two female friends. He bought her a cranberry and vodka cocktail, but she said she could not remember what they talked about and still did not know his name.

 

Suspect David Westerfield

Several days later, she said, she, her son Dylan and Danielle went to Westerfield's home while selling Girl Scout cookies. Westerfield formally introduced himself and bought four boxes of cookies. While the children ran around his pool, she and Westerfield talked, she testified.

He wanted to get to know her female friends, she said.

"He said to tell them I had a rich neighbor to introduce them to," she testified.

She said she told Westerfield that she and her friends might return to Dad's the next Friday if she could get a baby sitter. Her husband, she recalled telling him, would be out of town.

As she left his house, Westerfield took her phone number and told her he "had adult parties and also barbecues" and planned to invite her and her husband to them, she testified.

She said she found the comment so strange that she called her husband at work when she got home.

"It struck me as odd that he mentioned adult parties. I didn't know what he meant by that," she said. On cross-examination, she denied Feldman's charge that she was tickled because "there were others in your neighborhood allegedly engaged in the swinging lifestyle."

The van Dam's testified that on Feb. 1, Brenda and her two female friends planned to go to Dad's bar and Damon, his trip postponed, to stay home with the three children. Damon van Dam said he drank two beers with dinner and a third later.

When the friends, identified as Denise Kamal and Barbara Easton, arrived, the adults went into the garage, locked the door and shared half a marijuana joint. The boys played video games while Danielle sat at the kitchen table writing in her journal.

Brenda van Dam said she had smoked marijuana about 30 times before, and both testified they had the garage lock specially set to keep the children from happening upon them. Damon van Dam said he had one or two hits and Brenda said she had "three or four puffs."

"Did it get you high?" asked defense lawyer Steven Feldman.

"I did," she said.

The women left for the bar, and Damon van Dam said he played video games with his sons and then put all three children to bed at about 10 p.m. Danielle, he said, was already in her four-poster bed when he entered the room to tuck her in.

"I gave her a kiss goodnight," he said. He left her door and those of her brothers open about eight inches, he said.

After watching television and walking the dog, he went to bed, he said. He testified that the dog, Leila, was raised with dogs who had their larynx removed and almost never barked.

Brenda van Dam said that when she arrived at the bar, Westerfield was there with two friends and offered to buy her and her friends drinks.

"He said, Ladies don't buy their own drinks and threw some money on the counter," she testified.

She said that over the course of the evening, she had three cranberry and vodka cocktails and a shot of tequila. She said she did not know how many Westerfield bought because her friends just kept passing them to her. She also said she went to the parking lot with Easton, Kamal and two male friends and smoked the rest of the joint.

"How clearheaded were you," Dusek asked.

"I think I was very clearheaded," she said.

At one point, she and her friends played pool with Westerfield's friends. She said she noticed him watching them.

She said she danced with her male friends and a male stranger and then with Kamal and Easton. Under cross-examination, she admitted that Easton and Kamal were dancing provocatively with each other, and that she told investigators Easton tried to grab her breasts. Brenda van Dam denied ever dancing with Westerfield, but before the hearing ended, the defense listed several bystanders who said they had seen the pair on the dance floor together.

At 1:50 a.m., the bar closed and she drove Kamal and Easton back to her house. The two male friends also joined them.

Damon van Dam said he had just returned to bed from taking the dog out again when his wife and friends arrived home. Brenda van Dam said as she walked into the house, the security alarm indicated a door in the garage was ajar. The alarm was not hooked up to a security company and did not sound continuously when a door or window opened. She said she closed it and then she and Easton went to the master bedroom.

Easton, he said, got on the bed.

"I put my arm around her and kissed her and rubbed her back," said Damon van Dam, adding that he could not remember whether his wife was in the room at the time, but she later left.

On cross-examination, Feldman asked if he and Easton had a relationship with her and he said "Yes."

Eventually, he and Easton joined the two men and Brenda van Dam in the living room. After eating pizza, the guests left and the van Dams went to bed about 2:30 without looking in on their children.

Damon van Dam said that sometime during the night, he woke to use the restroom and noticed a flashing light on the alarm panel. He went downstairs and found the sliding back door slightly ajar. He closed it, thinking one of his guests had opened it, and returned to bed.

At 9 the next morning, Brenda found Danielle's bed empty.

"We started looking everywhere," she said.

"What was your state of mind?" Dusek asked.

"Frantic," she said.



TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Extended News; US: California
KEYWORDS: vandams; westerfield
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Pot usage, admission to active affairs, with Brenda's consent....the VD's lifestyle is bizarre to say the least....what makes it most unusual...is that meshed between their debauchery are 3 children......

As the drumbeat in San Diego increases...the question grows louder???

Where is CPS (Child Protective Services).....?


1 posted on 03/16/2002 12:09:40 PM PST by FresnoDA
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To: golitely;spectre;Amore;Travis McGee;BunnySlippers;Doughtyone;Hillary's Lovely Legs;Snow Bunny...
PING....))) Does the admission by Damon to an active and ongoing affair with Barb Eastman change the scenario of the evenings events??? I think it does....
2 posted on 03/16/2002 12:10:38 PM PST by FresnoDA
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To: FresnoDA
Where does it say that he is having an active and ongoing affair with Barbara?
3 posted on 03/16/2002 12:14:48 PM PST by Hillary's Lovely Legs
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
Well, he said he is intimate with her, and they were on the bed, smooching...that is pretty active, don't cha' believe?
4 posted on 03/16/2002 12:16:25 PM PST by FresnoDA
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
I believe Hillary the following is now known:

We have the father admitting to an affair with a woman who is out with the wife, both women can vouch for each other as alibi's.

If Brenda knew about the affair and had an attitude with Barbara, WHY was she going out with her? (She seemed to have an attitude in her testimony with Barbara)

I wonder how Damon felt that his wife and girlfriend were going out?

Could Damon and Barbara have organized this?

Barbara keeps Brenda out of the house, Damon is free to plant evidence/ditch the body.

I wonder if there was forced entry anywhere at DW's house?

Damon was aware that DW would be in attendance that night.

Then we have Danielle writing an apology letter to her father the night she disappears, while the wife and father's girlfriend are out, and is left in the care of her father.

Could Danielle have found something out that night that angered Damon?

5 posted on 03/16/2002 12:17:51 PM PST by FresnoDA
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To: FresnoDA
bump
6 posted on 03/16/2002 12:23:20 PM PST by tutstar
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To: FresnoDA
They are swingers. From what the FR swingers have explained to me is that they are the most loving and responsible couples and parents that there are. They don't get jealous and they don't have affairs. They just have sex with other people for recreation.
7 posted on 03/16/2002 12:25:54 PM PST by Hillary's Lovely Legs
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To: FresnoDA
I'd go with one of the folks from the party. They can't even say with certainty when they got home, when they went to bed. Only that they were stoned. Why would somebody who was hitting on Brenda and her friends with no known predelection for children abduct, assault and drag a child? Heck, Brenda can't even tell ya who she danced with for 3 hours or who she kissed or if she kissed in the truck.
8 posted on 03/16/2002 12:39:22 PM PST by Jaded
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To: FresnoDA
Where is CPS indeed--any more information on the cryptic testimony about the child abuse unit having visited the household (in the time before Danielle was abducted)? If so, why? Therein lies a story. Wonder if it will come out during the trial?
9 posted on 03/16/2002 12:50:57 PM PST by MizSterious
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To: Jaded
Why would somebody who was hitting on Brenda and her friends with no known predelection for children...

Well, the guy had incrimiating pictures on his computer, including some featuring a former girlfriend and her under-age daughter.

Sounds like a predelection to me.

10 posted on 03/16/2002 12:56:28 PM PST by sharktrager
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
One article I found on "swinging" stated that often it's agreed that all "swinging" be done by both spouses mutually--that if one of them goes it alone, that is considered cheating. Anyone else know more about this? I thought perhaps that was what was going on when Brenda told the smooching, backrubbing duo that it was "rude" not to join the others. And then there is the (strong) possibility that the missus was seeing Westerfield while the mister was at work--what kind of dynamics might that create?
11 posted on 03/16/2002 12:57:32 PM PST by MizSterious
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
They are swingers. From what the FR swingers have explained to me is that they are the most loving and responsible couples and parents that there are. They don't get jealous and they don't have affairs. They just have sex with other people for recreation.

Let me get this right. Smoking marijuana in the house, getting tanked regularly, having sex with near strangers (with the risk of STDs), putting your kids at risk by being unable to protect them because you are high or hung over or not at home . . these are signs of loving and responsible parents? What a pile of CRAP.

12 posted on 03/16/2002 1:02:14 PM PST by Andyman
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To: FresnoDA
Well, he said he is intimate with her, and they were on the bed, smooching...that is pretty active, don't cha' believe?

So, it appears that their " swinging lifestyle" was not so secret " behind locked garage doors" to keep from their children. It's difficult to believe these children were NOT exposed to their parents deviate sexual behavior.

I think these children saw MUCH more than young minds should. Sad, very sad. Sad because their parents allowed perverts and immoral "friends" into their home and God only knows if this led to the awful tragedy of their daughter.

13 posted on 03/16/2002 1:20:10 PM PST by DreamWeaver
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To: Andyman
Let me get this right. Smoking marijuana in the house, getting tanked regularly, having sex with near strangers (with the risk of STDs), putting your kids at risk by being unable to protect them because you are high or hung over or not at home . . these are signs of loving and responsible parents? What a pile of CRAP.

Of course these are NOT a perfect couple. They appear to be SCUM...But even SCUM don't deserve to have their child abducted/murdered. If they did there would be millions of child murders every year.

Focus, I repeat FOCUS, on the murder of the child, not the sins of the parents...

14 posted on 03/16/2002 1:20:57 PM PST by Drango
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To: FresnoDA
It is true that there is something not ethically kosher about the lifestyle of Brenda and Damon Van Dam's lifestyle and their fitness as parents are in question, however we should keep in mind that David Westerfield is on trial.
15 posted on 03/16/2002 1:23:57 PM PST by Commander8
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
They are swingers. From what the FR swingers have explained to me is that they are the most loving and responsible couples and parents that there are. They don't get jealous and they don't have affairs. They just have sex with other people for recreation.

Ohhh you left out that "the best sex " they ever had was with the wife they pimp out to friends and strangers...The denial is do thick ya could cut it with a knife

Most of these "men " are interested in perverted sex and they twist the little woman's arm to participate...that way the can have their Hetrosexual/homosexual play date with the little womans permission....but I wonder if their wives have to get numb like Brenda does with alcohol and drugs before playing the whore role?

What great role models hubh?

16 posted on 03/16/2002 1:27:59 PM PST by RnMomof7
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To: FresnoDA
But the girl's disappearance and murder quickly took a back seat to questions about her parents' drug use, drinking habits and sex life.

As well it should. If the parent's lack of proper conduct invited a pedophile into the home because they were too busy screwing with other people and stoned to boot, then their sex lives are on the table for all of us to analyze.

I'd like to ask, what about those two guys who followed the girls home that night, Keith and that other guy. Are they swinging pals of Westerfield's also? Or enemies? Lot's of questions just with the people who were on that premises that night.

And to think that they could possibly think that their sex lives were their own business. Now it is everyone's business, and not because we want it that way.

17 posted on 03/16/2002 1:34:30 PM PST by Slyfox
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To: RnMomof7

Most of these "men " are interested in perverted sex and they twist the little woman's arm to participate...that way the can have their Hetrosexual/homosexual play date with the little womans permission....but I wonder if their wives have to get numb like Brenda does with alcohol and drugs before playing the whore role?

POST OF THE MONTH!!! BUMP!!

18 posted on 03/16/2002 1:36:55 PM PST by FresnoDA
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To: Slyfox
I'd like to ask, what about those two guys who followed the girls home that night, Keith and that other guy. Are they swinging pals of Westerfield's also? Or enemies? Lot's of questions just with the people who were on that premises that night.

Golitely is on to something big time....there is a very explicit SWINGER CODE OF ETHICS!! (In know, major oxymoronic!)

Westerfield was a new rooster, on the existing swinger roosters turf.

Now old Damon, Keith, Rich and Bill Tibby(LOL) had the rule of the roost with Barb, Denise, Brenda, (Susan Winterspoon(?) and who knows how many other female types....)

It would seem that Westerfield was running competition down the street, with his own "adult parties" you bring the salad, he brings the meat!!  EXACT QUOTE OF BRENDA VD!!

So....was this the Van Dam Roosters....taking out Westerfield and his roosters?????

When I read about the VD's and their pals, I think of Mutual of Omaha's WILD KINGDOM....They are functioning at the most base level....

I will try to find the official SWINGERS GUIDE OF ETHICS for you all to see....it is a crack up...LOL

19 posted on 03/16/2002 1:42:04 PM PST by FresnoDA
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To: Drango
. . . But even SCUM don't deserve to have their child abducted/murdered.

NOBODY deserves to have their child abducted/murdered. However, when you have the kind of lifestyle these two did, you are more prone to having your child abducted/murdered. Therefore, they are, through their lifestyle, at least a little responsible for the death of their child.

There is no way to protect a child from everyting, but reducing the risks your child will face is an important part of parenting. If these two were not "swingers", their child would be alive today.

20 posted on 03/16/2002 1:56:44 PM PST by Andyman
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