The world's funniest joke? Scientists investigating laughter pick the world's funniest joke.

Sydney Morning Herald ^ | Thursday, December 20, 2001 | Various

[carpio]

The best joke:

The best joke, submitted by Geoff Anandappa, from Blackpool, goes like this: Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce."

Watson says: "I see millions of stars, and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."

Holmes replies: "Watson, you idiot. Somebody stole our tent ..."

This is indeed the funniest joke I have ever heard. As a matter of fact I once posted it on a humor thread on FR.

[LoisHunt]

bookmark

[aomagrat]

Q: What did Tennessee?

A: The same thing that Arkansas.

Q: What did Delaware?

A: Her New Jersey.

[jlogajan]

don't give up your day job

Durn hecklers.

[Lib-Lickers 2]

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? ------- Nothing, you already told her twice!

[AAABEST]

This guy goes to the doctor compaining that he has a pain in his read-end.

The doctor tells him to drop his pants and bend over so he can take a look.

After the patient complies, the doctor notices a piece of string sticking out of the guys ass, so he starts to pull it. More string came out and more and more.

The doctor keeps pulling on the string for quite a while, then finally a bouquet of flowers pops out of the guys ass.

The guy looks back astonished, and says "Where did that come from??!!

The doctor says I dunno, it doesn't have a card.

[WriteOn]

I laughed at every male joke and yawned at the female jokes. Guess there's something to it -- the preference not the conclusion.

[Billy_bob_bob]

None of these are on my "best" joke like. I'd tell my favorite, but I can't think of a way to clean it up enough for this forum. It involves racing camels. Oh well. Here's another one that can be cleaned up.

A guy walks into a brothel and askes for a girl who is willing to be with him outdoors. The madam is accomidating and picks a girl and directs them up to the roof of the building. They go up there and soon they are quite busy indeed, so busy that they lose track of what they are doing and slip off of the roof, falling a couple of stories to the ground below and knocking themselves out.

A drunk wanders by, sees the naked couple entwined and out cold, and walks up the door of the brothel. The madam asks "Can I help you?" and the drunk points to the couple in the street and says "Hey, lady, your sign fell down!"

[HiTech RedNeck]

Germany:

Why is television called a medium? It is neither rare nor well done.

This three-part pun makes sense in German as well as English?

[Husker24]

ooooo.....your gonna get flamed for that one!

[Billy_bob_bob]

s/b "best jokes LIST". Boy, don't drink and type!

[backtobasics]

There was a preacher that was known to take a nip at the bottle from time to time. A trooper was driving along behind him one day and noticed the preacher weaving from side to side. He knew the preacher and figured he was at it again so he pulled him over.

preacher:"Whats the problem officer?"

trooper: "I noticed you were weaving preacher. You been drinking?"

preacher:"Oh, no sir!"

trooper: "Whats wrapped in that bag there in your lap?"

preacher: "Oh, thats just a bottle of water."

The trooper took the bottle and sniffed it.

trooper:"Preacher, there is wine in that bottle."

The preacher took it back and gave it a sniff.

preacher:"Hallelujah! He's done it again!"

[melsec]

Sorry, the funnisest joke ever is Tadaahh.........

Q:Why do dogs lick their testicles?

A: Because they can!

A very Aussie-type joke.

Mel

[chainsaw]

Monica Lewinsky turned 28 last week, but it seems like uesterday that she was crawling around on her hands and knees in the oval office.

[southernnorthcarolina]

A Real Man's Chain Letter

This chain letter was started in hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discouraged men. Unlike most chain letters, this one does not cost anything. Just send a copy of this letter to five of your friends who are equally tired and discontented. Then bundle up your wife and/or girlfriend and send her to the man whose name appears at the top of the following list, and add your name to the bottom of the list. When your turn comes, you will receive 15,625 women. One of them is bound to be better than the one you already have. At the writing of this letter, a friend of mine had already received 184 women, of whom 4 were worth keeping.

REMEMBER this chain brings luck. One man's pit bull died, and the next day he received a Playboy swimsuit model. An unmarried middle-aged man living with his widowed mother was able to choose between a Hooters waitress and a Hollywood super model.

You can be lucky too, but DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN! One man broke the chain, and got his own wife back again.

Let's keep it going, men! Just add your name to the list below!

Bill Clinton
780 3rd Ave
New York, NY 10017

William Jefferson Clinton
780 3rd Ave
New York, NY 10017

W. J. Clinton
780 3rd Ave
New York, NY 10017

William Clinton
780 3rd Ave
New York, NY 10017

W Jefferson Clinton
780 3rd Ave
New York, NY 10017

William J Clinton
780 3rd Ave
New York, NY 10017

Slick Willie Clinton
780 3rd Ave
New York, NY 10017

Mr. Hillary Clinton
780 3rd Ave
New York, NY 10017

[HiTech RedNeck]

The "she preferred" jokes struck me (a guy) as just too clever by half. Shaggy dog groaners, where the chief funniness is in the strain to be clever. I wonder if these scientists have a rating for the "groan" aspect of a joke.

[Roy Tucker]

Beer tricks, get it?

PS I didn't think it was funny either.

[Ditto]

Two old women in a retirement home get hold of a Ms. Magazine. Thelma says to Gertrude; "What’s with this Mutual Orgasm stuff.... did you and Joe ever have that?"

Gertrude thinks for a moment and says; "No dear, I think we always had State Farm."

[Stultis]

Drunk is walking down the street, one foot on the curb, one foot on the pavement, one foot on the curb, one foot on the pavement...

A cop pulls up to question the man. "You're drunk," he says upon smelling his breath. "Thangk, God!" says the drunk, "I though I was crippl'd!"

[willyboyishere]

I don't like jokes, or the people who tell them. I've hardly ever told one, and always seem under-appreciative when hearing what everyone else thinks is a good joke. People who compulsively tell jokes use it as a substitute for a sense of humor, spontaneity, and wit which they lack.