[SpaceBar]

Having seen a few marriages of others go down the proverbial tubes, my observations are that failed marriages result from 1) thinking the spouse can be "changed" afterwards and 2) financial difficulties. Infidelity and really bizarre situations tend to be restricted to the Dr Laura call-in group.

[Orblivion]

Well this is just more evidence that women are the cause of our social ills :)

[Rudder]

In the beginning of a marriage the woman thinks she can change the man and the man thinks the woman will never change. Both are wrong.

[RedBloodedAmerican]

The #1 Answer To Society's #1 Problem?

Stay single.

[goodieD]

It's not that complicated. I think feminism and acceptance of divorce are the biggest true causes.

[longleaf]

If you want less of something, tax it. How about a "for the children" "emergency wartime" tax on divorce falling on the party who files for it? The more confiscatory the levy, the fewer divorces you will see. I guarantee it.

You might say that this would just cause people not to marry. If you want more of something, subsidize it. The government can use some of the proceeds from the divorce tax to pay marriage bonuses.

I realize none of this will ever happen.

[Governor StrangeReno]

Whatever income im on ,the manner to which I am accustomed slightly exceeds input,therefore it is not economically viable to entertain marriage,but I've had a hell of a good time.If I were to marry it would be to a best friend,but I would require a woman,not a female,therein lies the problem most are how would you say,regardless of looks,ordinaire these days.

[Vicki]

I think the reason the divorce rate is so high is because people are so self-absorbed. It's "me", "me". That doesn't work in marriage.

Divorce is devasting to children.

[FrogMom]

IMHO, the reason people cannot stay married is that they no longer know how to compromise. Marriage should be 50/50, although it seldom is. In my experience, it see-saws somewhat. Sometimes HE gets the lions share, sometimes I do.

With the ME-ME-ME crowd, it is almost impossible to do something else that is VITAL to a successful marriage - saying, "I was wrong". A genuine apology is worth more in the long term than a buy-off diamond necklace - you will have nurtured the relationship instead of the store of "things".

FrogMom <----- married almost 32 years (which is difficult since I'm only 29!)

P.S. A little mind-reading helps, too.

[quietolong]

bump

[GreatOne]

As a family law attorney, the majority of the causes of the divorces I see are one of the three "A's" - adultery, abuse, or addiction.

What causes these things I'm not too sure. I would guess that pre-marital sex is the primary culprit. Sex stirs up the emotions to such a degree that I think people's visions are clouded to such a degree that they don't think about whether they could actually live with a person day in, day out before getting married. The sexual activity takes priority over the development of communication, which is the crucial key to any successful marriage, and thus when people get into disagreements in their marriage, they are incapable of properly expressing themselves in order to resolve the situation. Resentment builds, and then one of the 3 A's occurs.

Just my theory.

[Quix]

WHAT CAUSES DIVORCE?

From this shrink's perspective:

essentially:

SELFISHNESS AND PRIDE

Certainly poor parenting of the parents by THEIR parents plays a huge part . . . but that's often been too much modeling of SELFISHNESS and PRIDE as much as anything else.

[let freedom sing]

All I know is, the Good Father can get screwed by the court and his wife's attorney, in a community property state.

[Demidog]

The reason that divorce rates are so high is beccause so many people, rather than realize that the authority for their marriage is not the state but their creator, have given what is God's unto Caesar.

The state has no business or interest in marriage. Like everything else they touch, they lower standards. And yet the right is begging them to continue overseeing God's domain because a few gay people might think they have the right to get married.

[pcl]

And the solution is....?

[Cold Heat]

OOOps, I thought the title was "Why divorce is so relevant." sorry................

[Khepera]

bimp

[aruanan]

Though divorce is a big problem, it isn't as large as most people think. The oft-quoted "one of two marriages ends in divorce" fails to make a crucial distinction: It's not referring to first marriages but to all marriages. A sizable percentage of total marriages and an even greater percentage of divorces are by people who have been married and divorced multiple times. A relatively small group of people skew the numbers.

[beavus]

Because the ideal mate inevitable turns out to just be a person.

[pcl]

Are there any men here who have raised a child on their own as a single parent family?