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WHY DIVORCE IS SO PREVALENT: The #1 Answer To Society's #1 Problem
Toogood Reports ^ | Uncertain | Unknown

Posted on 12/14/2001 3:21:12 PM PST by Dr. Octagon

WASHINGTON, D.C — One of the messiest areas of the law is divorce and child custody cases.

"Legal Notebook" guest, Stephen Baskerville, says that fathers are more often than not treated no better than criminals. Baskerville is a professor of political science at Howard University in Washington DC, and a spokesman for Men, Fathers and Children International.

Host Tom Jipping said to Baskerville, "In some of your writing, I´ve seen a contrast between fatherhood and fathers, particularly in terms of things that the government does. We see a lot of public relations talk about supporting fatherhood, and then, of course, you do a lot of writing as to the way fathers are treated. Distinguish fatherhood versus fathers."

Baskerville said, "It´s an important distinction. Fatherhood has become a buzzword for the government. Increasingly there is awareness of the importance of fathers -- I think it´s reaching general knowledge that fathers are important to children, that many social pathologies – most social pathologies today – result from fatherless homes, fatherless children. And the fathers are very important not only for the upbringing of their children, but for our social order as well."

Jipping said, "To me, some of the most interesting newer work in that area, not just kind of divorce generally, or broken homes sort of generally, but specifically fatherless homes -- that to me is some of the most interesting social science research that´s been done -- and not just by what you might consider conservative activists or something. There are lots of folks at your prestigious universities that are coming to the same conclusion."

Baskerville noted, "That´s right. What´s not being realized, though, is what the cause of this problem is. The assumption that is often unstated is that the fathers have abandoned or deserted their children. This is almost never the case. There´s no solid evidence whatever that large numbers of fathers in this country are simply abandoning their children. There is very solid evidence that fathers are being thrown out of the family systematically by family court, primarily."

Jipping asked, "Do fatherless homes also result from marriages not taking place – is the family simply not forming, while the mothers have the kids and the kids just stay with the mom?

Baskerville answered, "That´s true. And those cases are much more difficult to document when there´s never been a marriage in the first place. But even in those cases, most of those fathers have court orders either regulating when they can see their children, or ordering them to stay away from their children altogether."

Jipping asked, "Is there specific research on what portion of the broken homes, or the fatherless homes, result from these different causes, whether it´s [that] simply no family forms in the first place, fathers abandon their children, or the category we´re talking about here, which is intervention by family courts and fathers being ordered out of the home."

Baskerville stated, "Well, if there´s a marriage, then there is documentation -- we know who files for the divorce. And in most cases, when children are involved, it´s almost always the mother, two-thirds to three-quarters of the time. So in those cases, we have solid documentation that fathers very seldom voluntarily divorce when their children are involved. For the non-married cases, it is difficult to document. But there´s no reason to assume these fathers love their children any less. If you talk to those fathers many of them will tell you -- almost all of them will tell you -- that they desperately want to be with their children and to be active parents, and they are forcibly kept away."

Jipping mentioned an article he read in the Washington Times, on September 19, of an author, Judith Wallerstein, PhD who has been studying the effects of divorce, and has a new book out, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, a 25 year study, documenting what divorce does to family and children.

Baskerville said, "I think we´ve been denying this for many years now, that divorce is, in fact, harmful for children. I don´t think there´s any question. In many ways, divorce is kind of a conspiracy of grown-ups against children. And this is especially the case when it´s only one of the parents who want the divorce."

Jipping asked Baskerville if he agrees with the author of the book that at the time of the divorce itself, it´s really about problems and the effects that that has on the mothers and the fathers. But, the effects on the children are much, much more long-term and occur decades later.

Baskerville agreed, "Absolutely. For a child, the most terrifying thing is to lose a parent; the fear of losing a parent is horrible for a child. And also by the institution of forced divorce, we´re sending a lot of very harmful and destructive messages to children. We´re showing children that the family and the state are in effect dictatorships, in which children can be ripped apart from their parents for no reason, or for any reason, and they don´t have to have done anything wrong, or their parents don´t have to [have done anything wrong]."

Jipping asked, "We hear the phrase ‘no-fault divorce´ is that what you mean by forced divorce – is that what that becomes?"

Baskerville replied, "Absolutely. This was this deception that was brought [with] no-fault divorce. The idea was that this would be for mutual agreement -- you could have a divorce without a contest. What, in fact, it has become is [what is known as] unilateral divorce. And 80% of the divorces in this country are unilateral. They are over the objections of one parent. And that becomes even more when children are involved."

Jipping questioned, "So, does no-fault divorce really mean, under the state laws that govern the stuff, a divorce by only one of the two spouses for whatever reason that spouse chooses, not specified reasons?"

Baskerville said, "Overwhelmingly that´s true. And what´s even more shocking is that the parent that divorces is almost always the parent who expects to get custody of the children. A study by the University of Iowa found that the expectation of getting the children was the single most important factor in deciding who files for divorce."


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Front Page News
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To: pcl
While I definitively advocate systemic alterations indicated previously, I do respect the idea of pre-marital counseling. If romantic love can co-exist with realistic expectations, that would be constructive indeed. Thank you for an original and constructive addressing of the issue at hand.
161 posted on 12/15/2001 1:58:03 AM PST by Dr. Octagon
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To: ALL
Does anyone else wish to address the topic?
162 posted on 12/15/2001 1:59:48 AM PST by Dr. Octagon
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To: Dr. Octagon
A simple Meme needs to be spread:

The only person I can change is myself

or maybe one that aims at core values:

When I change myself, I change others and save the children.

163 posted on 12/15/2001 2:04:36 AM PST by pcl
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To: ALL
A parody:

Good: Pax?

Evil: I'LL DO WHAT I WANT ARROGANT NEWBIE!!!!

Good: Pax now? :o) :O) ;O)

Evil: I'VE BEEN HERE FOR YEARS! I'M GIVING YOU YOUR COME-UPPANCE! I CAN SORT OF TRANSLATE NOM-DE-PLUME WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY DIS-ALLOWING IT'S TRANSFERRANCE TO THE ELECTRONIC MEDIUM!!!

164 posted on 12/15/2001 2:07:52 AM PST by Dr. Octagon
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To: GreatOne
You forgot "A" number 4 - Attorneys. There are too many lawyers.
165 posted on 12/15/2001 2:10:27 AM PST by Bernard
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To: pcl
And I think that couples should discuss the utterly unromantic expectations pre-maritally! Who will do this, who will do that? Si? What does PCL stand for? I'll spill if you will.
166 posted on 12/15/2001 2:11:02 AM PST by Dr. Octagon
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To: Bernard
GreatOne is an attorney. But I believe a good one.
167 posted on 12/15/2001 2:12:25 AM PST by Dr. Octagon
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To: Dr. Octagon
" Ugly, sad and pathetic " is exactly what YOU turned this all into. Your very first post to me, was a personal attack. You think that no one is going to give it back to you , when YOU engage in such vainglorious piffle ?

Oh, and just a little FYI , newbie , Halloween had absolutely NOTHING at all to do with the reasoning or importance of when I became a FREEPER. On that date, FR held it's FIRST major event : THE MARCH FOR JUSTICE , in Washington, D.C. , and that day is revered, well remembered, and almost hallowed here. Hundreds of people attended, well known, and great speakers talked, and it was televised.

It really would behoove YOU , to learn some FR History ; not to mention manners, and what to do and what NOT to do around here.

168 posted on 12/15/2001 2:14:18 AM PST by nopardons
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To: Dr. Octagon
I do respect the idea of pre-marital counseling

While I would not dismiss pre-marital counseling, I do think we need to go a bit further. We need pre-relationship counseling. There are a lot of relationships that never reach marriage but do produce children.

169 posted on 12/15/2001 2:16:10 AM PST by pcl
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To: Dr. Octagon
What does PCL stand for?

My initials.

170 posted on 12/15/2001 2:17:12 AM PST by pcl
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To: ALL
Forget surrender...pax now?

Let's be friends, forget any vitriol which has been, and come together in a spirit of joy and love.

171 posted on 12/15/2001 2:21:26 AM PST by Dr. Octagon
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To: pcl
Oh. Hoped there was a long tale behind it. :0)
172 posted on 12/15/2001 2:22:17 AM PST by Dr. Octagon
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To: pcl
How implemented? Priests?
173 posted on 12/15/2001 2:23:08 AM PST by Dr. Octagon
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To: onyx
No, it was 1961, at the UN, Krischev bangged his shoe on his desk ( podium ? ) and Nixon was stil V.P. ! LOL

Hey there, did you notice that its the old " flypaper " thingy again ? : - )

Oh, and can you imagine that anyone would expect someone to read gobbledegook, unparagraphed tripe, written by an over rated , stinking lefty author, at THIS hour ? ROTFLOL

174 posted on 12/15/2001 2:25:51 AM PST by nopardons
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To: Dr. Octagon
I believe that any problem that requires a complex solution has not been sufficiently reduced. I would attack the problem before counseling is needed. I would attack the problem with education and a couple of simple Memes.
175 posted on 12/15/2001 2:29:14 AM PST by pcl
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To: wwjdn
bimp
176 posted on 12/15/2001 2:32:22 AM PST by Khepera
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To: pcl
How educated: Just from parents? With a focus on clear expectations? I feel that expectations are a key to counseling...else each goes in with a different set, with the sets often contra-dicting. What would you have communicated? I mean "have" as prescriptive, rather than past tense.
177 posted on 12/15/2001 2:37:52 AM PST by Dr. Octagon
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To: Khepera
Hello, welcome. The causes of divorce are multi-facted; what say you insofar as the most predominant, systemically and relationally?
178 posted on 12/15/2001 2:40:10 AM PST by Dr. Octagon
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To: Khepera
I checked out the Democratic Underground web site that so many people here have been advertising. I noticed that is a prominate liberal poster there with the Khepera handle. Are you leading a double life? Do you have mirror twin?
179 posted on 12/15/2001 2:40:19 AM PST by pcl
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To: pcl
Doppelganger?
180 posted on 12/15/2001 2:42:41 AM PST by Dr. Octagon
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