WHY DIVORCE IS SO PREVALENT: The #1 Answer To Society's #1 Problem

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[AgThorn]

Sorry for the broad generalization, your situation and others are NOT what I had in mind ... however, even in situation such as yours, moving out and letting the "other party" do all that they can to get the proper counseling is often not thought of as a valid recourse since the offended party is glad and justified to just get out of the situation.

Often, we have relationships that we got into too quickly (yours?) ....

No generalizations, every situation has it's own details ... but I stay with my original statement.

[KentuckyWoman]

Actually, I didn't get into it quickly (not unless you could call over three years quickly, that is) but it took MUCH longer to get out of it safely. When it finally became evident that NO amount of trying to be supportive was going to help the situation and the "tough love" ideology didn't get anywhere either, it came to face the fact that I coulnd't continue to be responsible for anyone besides my children and myself. Adults only change when/if THEY really, really want to - and as far as I know - he still hasn't changed but my children and I have been able to move on to safe and happy and lives.

I just wanted everyone to think about the fact that not every situation is the same (even if most CAN be catagorized) in these cases. While I don't believe things like "irreconcilable differences" are grounds for divorce, things like adultry, (actual) battery and (real) child abuse ARE.

[AgThorn]

I just wanted everyone to think about the fact that not every situation is the same (even if most CAN be catagorized) in these cases. While I don't believe things like "irreconcilable differences" are grounds for divorce, things like adultry, (actual) battery and (real) child abuse ARE.

We are of like minds .... with a caveate that even these (adultery, abuse) situations should not just "default" to divorce, but it sounds like your's didn't.

It's the "larger" percentage of "irrec.dif'" divorces that are strickly of the "selfish" mind.

[KentuckyWoman]

It's the "larger" percentage of "irrec.dif'" divorces that are strickly of the "selfish" mind.

Agree compeletly!! I believe the vows say until death do us part, not til inconvenience do us part (although even the Bible allows for a marriage to be "put aside" for certain infractions including adultry).

[Dr. Good Will Hunting]

Clearly, you were entirely, 100% right in your case. Feminists extrapolate such onto all cases; therein lies the problem. Feminists have opposed "covenant marriages", which essentially revive the "divorce-only-with-truly legit-reasons" motif which existed before "no-fault divorces".

I support the concept of covenant marriages; from your posts, I venture that you might as well.

[KentuckyWoman]

I support the concept of covenant marriages; from your posts, I venture that you might as well.

My hat is off to you, Sir. I finally gave up on my first marriage only after several years of soul-searching, prayer and trying everything I knew to try, all to no avail. I like to think that the hell we (I and my children) went through during those years served to make us REALLY appreciate the wonderful, loving, patient man who later came into our lives. Sometimes, I guess, we just have to go through the bad to truly be able to appreciate the good. Kinda like if we had never seen darkness, how could we appreciate a sunrise??

Merry Christmas!