There once was a finicky ocelot,
Who all year long was cross a lot,
Except at Thanksgiving,
When he enjoyed living
And ate cranberry sauce a lot.~Ogden Nash
Posted on 11/21/2001 4:26:07 PM PST by backhoe
There once was a finicky ocelot,
Who all year long was cross a lot,
Except at Thanksgiving,
When he enjoyed living
And ate cranberry sauce a lot.~Ogden Nash
It's amazing the things guys
try to make us believe.
Really girls, do we look that naive?
How many hours they spend in the weeks,
thinking of ways to get us between sheets.
Their pickup lines are really lame,
most of them seem to be all the same.
And professional men they all seem to be,
making big bucks is what they tell me.
Heaven forbid,
if you're classed as a blond.
Then they think, they can't go wrong.
They don't seem to know
this color comes in a bottle.
But most know the difference between
a wiggle and a wottle.
We won't tell them all that we know,
we'll just let them put on their show!
So then one day she asks you, "Do these pants make me look fat?"
And you bite your tongue and tremble, "Oh my God... She asked me that?!"
Because no matter how you answer, you'll have to post the bail,
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.
168 or so.
Or imagined...
We never forget...:)
LOL...
There was this man
whose name was Saber
he worked in an office
doing clerical labor
Now Saber really liked clothes,
and he dressed very well.
The women always told him,
he looked real swell.
He kept his clothes pressed,
and clean, he always looked perk.
In spite of the fact, he only owned
2 suits 3 ties and a shirt.
One day he was looking thru the files,
when his tie got caught.
Ripping it in half, 2 inches
from the knott.
The next day while he was typing,
again his tie got caught.
and this one too was ruined,
on it was a big ink spot.
Well, the following day, the fax machine
grabbed his tie, around his throat.
Words that came out of his mouth
I'm sure not going to quote.
Now as you know, Harry
only had 3 ties.
So after that, he had no more
and everyone thought that was wise.
On Fathers day, his daughter
bought him a new one.
He wore it to work, he didn't care
when his peers, at him poked fun.
Hey!!!...i resemble that remark!!!
Hmmmmmmm.
But the valued talent belongs to the softer sex
She who has the gift for the man between the sheets
Rules the man and the world and has the royal seat!
Victoria, you sassy lass
Of steely wit and brassy class
Poke fun at me, that will not pass
Do that again, I'll..............................!
Thank goodness they never forget this part...
As seaman is to royal fleet
As seed is to beginning,
As pen is to the paper sheets,
So poets are between the linens.
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