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......., you might be a Clinton
The Arrakis Street Journal | November 19, 2001 | Paul Atreides

Posted on 11/19/2001 2:37:22 PM PST by Paul Atreides

On a thread located at Laura Bush Zings Hillary ,I posted how funny it would be if Jeff Foxworthy did a take on his "You might be a redneck" routine, only changed to "You might be a Clinton". It has blossomed into some very funny posts by several Freepers! Check them out and come back and add your own!


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: hillary; x42
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To: Paul Atreides
You might be a Clinton if: Your best defense for cheating on your spouse was "Have you met my wife?"

You might be a Clinton if: Your only regret from your tenure as President is that you never got to re-enact the "Commendant and the Podeum" scene from Police Academy.

You might be a Clinton if: Your heathcare reform package is more confusing than a painting made by a dozen 4 year olds high on pixie sticks!

121 posted on 11/20/2001 8:47:24 AM PST by jrhepfer
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To: MeeknMing
If you think the female senator, speaking of a stimulus package, is talking about your bent willie, you might be a Clinton.
122 posted on 11/20/2001 8:58:02 AM PST by Paul Atreides
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To: Paul Atreides
all your close, personal friends and associates are dead.
123 posted on 11/20/2001 9:00:48 AM PST by TADSLOS
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To: Paul Atreides; Lizzy W; MeeknMing
If High School Students, throughout the nation, want to write you a "Thank You Note" because their schools have been made so easy to gradute from...and they can't spell well enough to do so....

...If they couldn't find Washington D.C.....on a map of Washington D.C. ....

...If they know more about Homosexual Relations than how to calculate their parent's MPG...

...If they laughed at George Bush when, during the run for the presidency, he 'failed' a question about the name of a Foreign Leader. But, do not know the name of their own governor, or their home state's capitol city....

....If you actually believe that more people are killed each year, by the use of Firearms than by Licensed Doctors....

Then you are far toooooo close to the Bloodline to NOT be a Klinton....

124 posted on 11/20/2001 9:50:13 AM PST by Alabama_Wild_Man
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To: Ragtime Cowgirl
ROFLMAOPIMP.
125 posted on 11/20/2001 10:05:30 AM PST by Lovergirl
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To: Paul Atreides
If you take a poll before you make a decision you must be a (follower - not a leader) -Clinton
126 posted on 11/20/2001 11:06:42 AM PST by hillarynot
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To: Paul Atreides
If more than half of the "Most Ridiculous Items" on Bill O'Reilly's show are about you, you might be a Clinton!
127 posted on 11/20/2001 11:22:56 AM PST by Feebeth
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To: Paul Atreides
bump
128 posted on 11/20/2001 4:19:26 PM PST by asneditor
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To: Paul Atreides
You might be a Clinton if the only things lower than your ethics are your morals
129 posted on 11/20/2001 4:29:28 PM PST by catpuppy
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To: catpuppy
If you have a huge genital wart on your nose, you might be a Clinton.

If you are required to have a 1-800 number for Father's Day, you might be a Clinton.

If the free clinics write on a teen girl's chart "typical case of the Clinton", you might be a Clinton.

If you get a 200 dollar haircut and still look like you have navel lint glued to your head, you might be a Clinton.

If you share self-pleasure techniques with Jocelyn Elders, you might be a Clinton.

If you feel inadequate while standing next to Janet Reno at the urinals, you might be a Clinton.

130 posted on 11/20/2001 5:29:21 PM PST by Paul Atreides
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To: Paul Atreides
If you make Jesse Jackson look like Howard Hughes, YMBAC.
131 posted on 11/21/2001 8:51:21 PM PST by falfa
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To: Paul Atreides
If you are the first black president to demolish a historic black building for your presidential library, you are a clinton.

If you steal food from rescue workers at ground zero, you are a clinton.

If you sell tainted prison blood to Canada, you are a clinton.

If you are unable to walk with Web Hubbell's daughter without holding her hand, you are a clinton.

If a two letter word confuses you, you are a clinton.

If you married someone you think is the smartest woman in the world, and she is dumber than dirt, you are definitely a clinton. (This could apply to either one of the HillBillies)

132 posted on 11/22/2001 8:49:31 PM PST by I_be_tc
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To: dayo; Paul Atreides
If your weenie ends up in hot water, you might have Clinton soup......

LMAO bump!

133 posted on 11/27/2001 9:18:43 AM PST by MeekOneGOP
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To: Paul Atreides
If your presidential liberry is a doublewide with the wheels still attached, you might be a Clinton.

Speakin' of his LIEberry:

Clinton Liebrary
( http://clintonliebrary.com/indexframes.htm )

Call this the Liebrary BUMP! !

134 posted on 11/27/2001 9:25:37 AM PST by MeekOneGOP
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To: MeeknMing
If you cause 1200+ of your fellow dimocrats all across the country to resign, loose their office, or end up in jail, just so that you can remain in your office, then you are a clinton.

If you blame the Republicans for shutting down the government even when it's your own fault for not signing the budget or an emergency spending bill, then you are a clintoon.

If you hire interns, giving them 39 hours a week, just to keep from having to pay them benifits, then slam the rest of the country when they follow your example, you are a clinton.

If you promise that you will have the most ethical adminstration in history, then proceed to fill it with every con man, socialist, radical, 60's reject, and reprobate you can find, and wonder why you end up under constant indictment, investigation, and ridicule you are a clinton.

If you show little interest in what goes on inside the WH, but have a curiously strong interest in getting out of it especially late at night for hours at a time with no SS detail, all to meat your girlfriends at the downtown D.C. Marriot Hotel in a WH sedan driven by your buddy Bruce Lindsey, then you are a clinton.

MTC, and that's the MHT.

135 posted on 12/01/2001 1:27:37 AM PST by PeaceBeWithYou
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To: PeaceBeWithYou
If you HIRE a bar bouncer as head of Whitehouse security, you might be a Clintoon!
136 posted on 12/01/2001 1:35:40 AM PST by Las Vegas Dave
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To: Paul Atreides
If your soul could bathe in a septic tank and leave a ring, you might be a Clinton.
137 posted on 12/01/2001 1:36:12 AM PST by Vigilanteman
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To: PeaceBeWithYou
If you marry a shrewlike woman and spawn a web hubble lookalike,you might be a 'toon.
138 posted on 12/01/2001 1:36:36 AM PST by cardinal4
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To: Las Vegas Dave
If you are a terra-cotta toothed, trailer living, cousin screwing sociopath, YMBAC.
139 posted on 12/01/2001 1:39:34 AM PST by SurferDoc
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To: SurferDoc
You may find this amusing!

(Post favorite Bill and Hillary story here!)

140 posted on 12/01/2001 1:50:55 AM PST by Las Vegas Dave
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