Posted on 09/06/2001 4:07:20 PM PDT by blam
Thursday, 6 September, 2001, 10:39 GMT 11:39 UK
Universe 'could condense into jelly'
By BBC News Online's Helen Briggs
The Universe may be in a state where matter could disintegrate at any moment, a scientist has warned.
But the probability is less than that of buying two lottery tickets in the same week that both win the lottery, said Dr Benjamin Allanach of the European laboratory for particle physics, CERN, in Geneva.
"The fact that the Universe has existed for 15 billion years should tell you it's not likely to happen tomorrow," he told the British Association Festival of Science in Glasgow. "The probability of it happening is tiny."
The idea behind such a catastrophic possibility is supersymmetry. This theory of the Universe states that every particle that makes up matter has a heavier ghostly partner that has similar but not identical properties.
If true, current data implies that the Universe must be perched on an unstable vacuum and "could suddenly condense into jelly and cause this catastrophe", said Dr Allanach.
Ghostly particle
The danger is that a jelly of the ghostly partner of the quark could form spontaneously at any moment, changing the laws of physics of the whole Universe.
Light would stop shining, electricity would no longer work and the matter that makes up us, the Earth and the stars would disintegrate to form a different kind of matter, said Dr Allanach.
This disaster scenario caused some initial nightmares, he said. But further calculations showed that the probability of it actually happening was miniscule, even in a time as long as the age of our Universe.
The actual probability is one in 13 million squared, he said.
This latest scientific discovery definitely has me spooked. I'm starting to plan my Jelly Shelter for the back yard. I fully intend to survive this thing. I shall make use of the well-known physical fact that bread always falls jelly-side down.
Binkley went home and said "(BLEEP) mowing the lawn, Dad."
(But if it does work, open the door for me, OK?)
Ah, but I'll have my battery-powered anti-jelly field generator. Something I've been working on in my spare time. (You've heard of anti-matter, well ... naturally there's anti-jelly too!) Trust me; I'm gonna beat this thing.
Kirk and Spock beat god.
They can whip this Smuckers thing, easy.
I'm already negotiating with Michelle Pfeiffer. If I can't get her, maybe one of the news babes from Fox network. I'm afraid you're gonna end up being part of the cosmic ooze. Sorry.
Mangled Baby Ducks...yes, Mangled Baby Ducks!!!
No, NO! Try "Death Camp" Jam; it's the brand with the "barbed wire" on the label! MMMmmmmmmmm-GOOD!!!!!
(attribution to SNL, back during the era when it was actually funny)
First you taunt me in my sensitive gall bladder bereavement period and now this! There's a special pit in Hell waiting for you, Patrick, and it's full of JELLY!
That picture should be FORBIDDEN as a Generic Insult to ALL Women!
The HildeBeast should be JAILED for a "Century or Three" for "Indecent & Offensive Exposure!!"
WHY, Oh Lord, must we be Tortured by SUCH a "Painful Apparition!!??"
Doc
Not sure about Spock but Kirk's been a pale shadow of his former self since . . . OK, he never could act his way out of a wet paper bag.
Dream on. When the jelly hits, and all I can see outside my portholes is green slime, and me and the girls are furiously working on repopulating the universe (my sacred duty to eternity, you know) I'll think of you and the gang. But not too often.
But would I still be able to watch TeeeeeVeeeeee and surf the Web? Sounds hard with no electricity. Do they make gasoline burning computers and TeeeeeeVeeeeees? The fact that light would stop shining would make life very difficult. How could I find my computer and my TeeeeeVeeeee it there wasn't any light? And worse yet: what would I see on the TeeeeeVeeeee screen if there isn't any light.
KHHHAAAAANNNNNNNNN!!!!!
PH, not you, too? I had no idea you were a defrocked scientist working on perfecting some form of medvedian malarky in your basement in your spare time. I expect a hyperlink from the "Bearfabrique" website to your secret work will be put up shortly, followed by spamming of all FR threads with impassioned diatribes about the World-Wide Conspiracy to Suppress anti-Jelly Field Generators. Evidence of this conspiracy will know doubt be derived from "channeling" the thoughts of a psychic parrot......
.... or was it a psychic ASCII bat?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.