Posted on 05/08/2026 8:45:14 AM PDT by Red Badger
Chris Toukonen apparently has a drug problem.
He's also a teacher at Lely High School in Naples, Florida.
Toukonen, 44, has a shiny new set of felony drug charges to add to his résumé, along with possession of narcotic paraphernalia.
According to reports, administrators got wind of suspected drug use while Toukonen was alone in the classroom. They then searched his backpack, found cocaine and fentanyl, and called the Collier County Sheriff's Office.
Deputies showed up, investigated, and hauled him off to jail. No other drugs were found in his classroom or his vehicle on campus.
Look at those pinpoint pupils!— Cindy LHK (@DannyCampsalot) May 8, 2026
In news that isn't all that surprising, Toukonen had previously been the head coach of another Collier County high school football team, where he was suspended five games in 2021 for his conduct toward the refs. I'm guessing he was the kind of coach who would give you that pregame pep talk while breaking tables and crushing cans on his head.
Welp, Mr. Toukonen is in jail now. Hopefully withdrawal doesn't hit him too hard.
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Well, I could have more sympathy for him needing drugs if he taught in middle school, but by high school he shouldn’t need the hard drugs.
Hey, everybody needs a hobby!
All kidding aside......this joker needs an extended stay in the Florida state department of corrections.
Chris Toukonen apparently has a drug problem... Toukonen had previously been the head coach of another Collier County high school football team, where he was suspended five games in 2021 for his conduct toward the refs. I'm guessing he was the kind of coach who would give you that pregame pep talk while breaking tables and crushing cans on his head.
Wait, was that wrong? 😂
If you want to get down
Down on school grounds . , cocaine
An old ditty from our school days.
To the tune of “Frere Jacques”:
Marijuana, Marijuana
LSD, LSD
Scientists make it
Teachers take it
Why can’t we? Why can’t we?
“Chris Toukonen apparently has a drug problem.” Teacher was hot for teacher.
Kids in school driving me insane
That drove me to cocaine
If you got bad news and
Want to chase away the blues . . . Cocaine
I’ve got this pain, , , pain in my brain
The only cure is more cocaine , , , more cocaine
Hang him.
Teacher standards are way too low....
Teachers little helper
That reference will mean nothing to the youngsters... They won’t know about “the shelter,” either. :-)
I was in love with a girl on cocaine
She had everything going but a brain
We’d talk endlessly for hours
But by morning it’d go sour
I was in love with a girl on cocaine
Petty
he’ll be back teaching soon
He hated performing it live, but everybody requested for him to play it, so he did.
Great musician / songwriter!
THAT IS THE STRANGEST PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH I HAVE EVER SEEN
Drug addicts do strange things..............
Chris Toukonen says he doesn’t do drugs he was just testing them.
Judge agrees
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