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Woman who shot and killed boyfriend on Indy's northeast side says she suffered years of abuse from him
WTHR.com ^ | January 6, 2024 | Chase Houle

Posted on 01/07/2024 3:35:33 AM PST by marktwain

INDIANAPOLIS — As police lights illuminate an apartment complex on the city's northeast side following a fatal shooting, brighter light shines on a bigger issue.

Domestic violence.

"I just know what he's capable of doing and last night something just told me, 'OK, I just need to protect myself,'" said a woman who was being abused by her boyfriend but did not want to be identified.

The woman said she shot and killed her boyfriend while he was attacking her inside the apartment Thursday night.

"He was strangling me, and I tried to push him back, but he was getting stronger and just more physical and that's when I fell back, and he was just lunging towards me. I don't know because he will just start wailing off on me and so, I just shot him," explained the woman.

She said over the course of their relationship, she's gotten five no contact orders and an order of protection against him.

Despite going back to the relationship, she said, "I know it's not love, but I know, he's a broken and a troubled person, and you know me, just being the person that I am, I'm always trying to heal and fix everything and everybody, and that's what I was trying to do with him."

According to Women Against Abuse, a domestic violence nonprofit, it takes an average of seven attempts for a survivor to leave their abuser and stay separated for good. The organization says it could be dangerous for the victim to leave or the victims believes the person will change over time.

"Yes, he was abusive, but that was my best friend and I love him, and I don't know how I'm going to get through this. I really don't," explained the woman as she cried.

And while she may be heartbroken over what happened, she has a piece of advice for women - something she wish she would have taken before it got to this point.

"It's not always that easy, but I would try and get out of the situation, or I would try, and you know, have a way to protect yourself if it ever comes to that, you know," she said.


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Culture/Society; News/Current Events; US: Indiana
KEYWORDS: banglist; defense; domestic; in; indiana
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To: marktwain

WE HAVE COMPLETELY BRED THE SELF-PRESERVATION GENE OUT OF OUR WOMEN.....AND MANY OF OUR MEN.


41 posted on 01/07/2024 8:00:15 AM PST by ridesthemiles
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To: bigfootbob

EVERYTHING YOU SAY IS TRUE-——

EVEN AS SCARY——ALL COPS WILL TELL YOU THAT “DOMESTIC ARGUMENT CALLS” ARE THE MOST DANGEROUS FOR THEM


42 posted on 01/07/2024 8:18:45 AM PST by ridesthemiles
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To: marktwain

Straight from the feminist playbook:
1. Kill your boyfriend.
2. Claim it was self-defense after years of abuse.
3. Repeat.


43 posted on 01/07/2024 8:35:10 AM PST by MIchaelTArchangel (Make the World Safe for Humanity--Kill the Terrorists)
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To: Melinda in TN
I think that’s what saved my mom from physical abuse. My grandfather (her father) would have killed him in a heartbeat.

I agree that your mom benefited greatly from having a strong, protective father.

It’s interesting to read your comments about abuse skipping a generation.

I wonder if that has happened in your family partly because children who love their mother and see her abused are determined not to put their own children through that trauma?

44 posted on 01/07/2024 10:05:22 AM PST by pax_et_bonum (“Killer rabbit jokes have a long tradition in medieval literature.“ - Dr. James Wade)
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To: pax_et_bonum

I’m pretty sure that’s what has happened. I watched my mom be a weak woman that didn’t stand up to Dad even to protect us. I wasn’t going to be weak. I never hit my daughter because I didn’t want to be like Dad, and she turned out to think hitting was a way to get results. She even hit me once in the kitchen when she was pregnant. My granddaughter is the sweetest person ever! She swears she’ll never be like her mom. None of my siblings are violent. We are all very easy going. We don’t let ourselves be run over or mistreated but we don’t hit people to make a point.

A lot say that violence teaches violence but not in my family. It has done the opposite. After watching our parents, who were married over 60 years BTW, we were determined not to be violent or be run over either.


45 posted on 01/07/2024 11:27:00 AM PST by Melinda in TN
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To: marktwain
Despite going back to the relationship, she said, "I know it's not love, but I know, he's a broken and a troubled person, and you know me, just being the person that I am, I'm always trying to heal and fix everything and everybody, and that's what I was trying to do with him."

Sweetie, you should try to heal what is broken in yourself before trying to fix someone else.

Good luck with that.

46 posted on 01/07/2024 11:59:54 AM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear ( In a quaint alleyway, they graciously signaled for a vehicle on the main road to lead the way. )
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To: marktwain
“When the Himalayan peasant meets the He bear in his pride/ he will shout to scare the monster, who will often turn aside.

But the She bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail/for the female of the species is more deadly than the male’’.- Kipling.

47 posted on 01/07/2024 12:41:53 PM PST by jmacusa (Liberals. Too stupid to be idiots.)
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To: jmacusa
Kipling was a great writer and a great poet.

He was probably correct about the bears.

However, he was gravely wrong about many, many things.

Because of abuse during his childhood, he was fervently anti-Christian.

48 posted on 01/07/2024 12:50:41 PM PST by marktwain
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To: Melinda in TN
I was a hot-headed redhead

And you thought the potential problem was HIM hitting YOU???

You're lucky he didn't just walk away ...

What you told him was profoundly insulting. Think about the implication.

49 posted on 01/07/2024 12:56:04 PM PST by NorthMountain (... the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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To: NorthMountain

Not insulting. No man is going to hit me and me stay around for more. I took enough of that off my dad.


50 posted on 01/07/2024 1:03:11 PM PST by Melinda in TN
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To: marktwain

He was also catastrophically wrong about who is more deadly.


51 posted on 01/07/2024 1:09:26 PM PST by NorthMountain (... the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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To: Melinda in TN

Very insulting.

The statement includes the implication that “domestic violence” is a reasonable probability.

The heck with that. I would have walked away right then and there. I don’t need some self-admitted hot-head telling me hypocritically not to be a hot-head.


52 posted on 01/07/2024 1:11:35 PM PST by NorthMountain (... the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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To: null and void

“Right on Target!”
.
“..Eve gave Adam the Apple and
He Did Eat of it.”
.
We old Divorced have a story and
Hope that no one perished in the
Final chapter.
.
Why are Divorces So Expensive?


53 posted on 01/07/2024 1:50:14 PM PST by Big Red Badger (The Truman Show)
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To: Big Red Badger

Why? Because they are worth every penny!!!


54 posted on 01/07/2024 1:53:13 PM PST by null and void (I identify as a conspiracy theorist. My personal pronouns are told/you/so.)
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To: NorthMountain

OK, since you don’t seem to be very well liked in FR due to your anger issues (probably a wife/kid beater too) along with very poor reading skills and comprehension, let me explain.

I had NO reason to walk away. We were having dinner at his mother’s house one Sunday and he jokingly said that the Bible said he can beat his wife. She winked at me and told him that she’d better never hear he hit me. She also told him that with all this red hair, he might regret it if he did. I assured her that if he ever hit me that I’d just walk away and leave his punishment up to her. That’s why I said it as a joke, but you obviously have no capacity for that.

After the way my dad treated us and my mom when he got stressed or mad, I decided that I would never be treated that way, and I would never treat anybody else that way.

I worked for two years for CPS and saw first-hand what angry, mean parents can do to kids.

We have been married for 40 years. We knew each other for 10 before that. He is 85 now and mostly bedridden. I’m his caretaker and have been for a while. We would have not made that milestone if either of us were violent.

Put some ice on the anger and woman hate. It’s not healthy.


55 posted on 01/08/2024 3:42:42 AM PST by Melinda in TN
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To: Gay State Conservative

“...And that includes its many subtleties.”

LOL! Reminds me of John Kerry saying we didn’t understand and agree with him because we were ignorant of his “nuances”.

Try the coffee method....


56 posted on 01/08/2024 5:20:13 AM PST by trebb (So many fools - so little time...)
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To: Melinda in TN
due to your anger issues (probably a wife/kid beater too)

ROFL!!!

Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

Your false accusation speaks very poorly of you.

57 posted on 01/08/2024 7:25:15 AM PST by NorthMountain (... the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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