Posted on 11/27/2018 6:08:59 AM PST by Kaslin
Every Wednesday, the second hour of my national radio show is the "Male/Female Hour." A few weeks ago, a woman named Jennifer called in. For reasons of space, I have somewhat shortened her comments. Every young woman should read them. This is precisely what she said:
"Dennis, I want to get right to it. I'm 50 years old with four college degrees. I was raised by a feminist mother with no father in the home. My mother told me get an education to the maximum level so that you can get out in the world, make a lot of money. And that's the path I followed. I make adequate money. I don't make a ton of money. But I do make enough to support my own household.
"I want to tell women in their 20s: Do not follow the path that I followed. You are leading yourself to a life of loneliness. All of your friends will be getting married and having children, and you're working to compete in the world, and what you're doing is competing with men. Men don't like competitors. Men want a partner. It took me until my late 40s to realize this.
"And by the time you have your own household with all your own bills, you can't get off that track, because now you've got to make the money to pay your bills. It's hard to find a partner in your late 40s to date because you also start losing self-confidence about your looks, your body. It's not the same as it was in your 20s. You try to do what you can to make your life fulfilling. I have cats and dogs. But it's lonely when you see your friends having children, going on vacations, planning the lives of their children, and you don't do anything at night but come home to your cats and dogs. I don't want other women to do what I have done."
I asked, "Was it hard for you to make this call?"
She responded: "It was. I want to be anonymous because I don't want people that I know to really know my true feelings. Because you do act like 'My career is everything. I love working.' But it's a lie on the inside for me. It's unfortunate. I didn't realize this until it's too late. I don't know if it's too late. I would like to find somebody to go on vacation with.
"You have other concerns when you get older and you live alone. Who's going to take you to your medical appointments? If something should happen to you, there's no other income there to help you. These are things you don't understand when you're in your 20s because you don't think you'll ever get old and have health problems.
"I'm stuck now because I go to work every day. I smile like I love it, but it's very painful to not plan a vacation with someone. It's painful to not have a Thanksgiving dinner with someone. You sit home alone and you do nothing. I avoid my friends now that have children because I have nothing in common with them.
"Somebody asked me the other day, 'Why did you stay single and never have kids?' There's answers: Because I was brainwashed by my mother into this. But it's hard and it's shameful to tell people, 'I don't know. I ran out of time.'
"There's not a good answer for it except 'I was programmed to get into the workforce, compete with men and make money.' Supposedly, that would be a fulfilling life. But I was told that by a feminist mother who was divorced, who hated her husband -- my father.
"She tried to steer me on what she thought was the right path, but feminism is a lie. That's what I want women to know.
"I didn't realize this until late in life. I want to tell women: Find someone in your 20s. That's when you're still very cute. That's when you're still amiable to working out problems with someone. It's harder in your 50s, when you've lived alone, to compromise with someone, to have someone in your home and every little thing about them annoys you because you're so used to being alone. It's hard to undo that, so don't do what I did. Find someone in your 20s."
I said, "I'm thinking of transcribing your call and making it a column."
"Do that, Dennis. I want to help whoever I can," she said.
Met my husband at 17, married at 21, first baby at 27. I see divorcee's have similar problems, living alone burned once by a marriage, but they have children and grandchildren.
I never told anyone what I wanted to do when I grew up as I was ashamed of saying I wanted to get married and have a family, feminists frowned on that in the early 70's when I graduated high school. There is not a day that goes by that my children don't upset me or break my heart, wouldn't trade it for anything though, especially when the grand babies started coming!
Bottom line, when you spend a decade telling a daughter to never put themselves in the position where they have to depend on a man. You have created someone unable to form a relationship with a man. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
“Women ought to marry young...”
Not just women, men too. But obviously they’d be crazy to marry any woman who went to a US college, given what we’re now seeing. But there are other cultures, cultures that are MUCH MORE TRADITIONAL and place a higher value on having a loving family than hating men. Guys just have to look in the right places.
(hint: Flights from the West Coast to Asia can often be found for under $500, and that includes meals and 2 checked bags...similar for NY City)
She woked. Way too late.
Before her spinster’s epiphany, she probably castigated any doubter of feminism. I’ll wager no authentic man could successfully cohabitate with her now. No widow’s life insurance bonus for her, either. Bitter fruits are raining down from the feminist tree.
Fatherless homes largely produce unbalanced children. We’re inundated with the emotion-driven, logic-challenged adult children of single mommies. And they’re further damaged by pubic school indoctrination.
I'll get a caveat out of the way first -- A lot of young men today are no prizes: emasculated, video game playing, porn addicted hipsters. Many men need to do some work to make themselves worthwhile to gain a woman's attention.
Now, having said that, I will say that I think the far bigger problem is the attitude that young women have today. I think it's horrible. Repellent. Nasty. Bitter. Many of them are unreasonable bitches and darn proud of it. I have no idea how that happened, but I see far too much of it.
And I will end with that caveat -- many young men are fine upstanding citizens, and many young women and demure, feminine angels. But I live in MA and then men and women I see are generally not worthy of marriage and procreation.
This is exactly what happened with my ex. She was raised with the assumption that a man is unreliable and that she must put her career first. Well, she did that...and it cost her the marriage. Putting her husband as priority #5 and refusing even basic wife roles, it became her self-fulfilling prophesy.
Anyhoo, they were talking about all the wonderfully fun things that they've done, and poking at my wife. "Listen to how awesome we are, we're everything that you're not, and don't you wish you were us!" -type stuff. It was friendly banter, but I could tell it was getting under my wife's skin. All the wine her friends (but not my wife) had consumed likely didn't help things.
After a substantial amount of prodding - more than I'd have put up with - Mrs WBill had enough. "All those things sound wonderful, but I chose to have grandkids and someone to grow old with, instead."
You could've heard a pin drop at the party. Game, set and match to my lovely wife.
I live within driving distance of Eastern Europe. :)
I agree with this one hundred per cent. There is no one way to live that is right for everyone; and we can all change on a dime when we CHOOSE to do so.
This woman may have done valuable service presenting herself as a cautionary tale, but she seems to be wallowing in misery that, to a certain extent, she perceives to be somebody else’s fault.
You can’t change the past, but you can always change your mind; and you can cease to allow fear, resentment, and self-constructed obstacles take away your chances at happiness.
When I asked my single auntie why she never married she said it was all about timing. When he was ready she wasn’t When she was ready he wasn’t. She wasn’t a feminist. She enjoyed her career. She just didn’t meet the right person at the right time
Competition out in the world at large, in business, in sports, that's one thing. Constantly banging heads with a competitor in your own household is another. That is called marital strife. Somebody has to be the head of the household. Men have started saying no to feminist harridans being head of their household. Men want a partner in marriage, not a competitor.
I agree with you about the boys today. But I think the women are precisely what is created those kind of boys. Women are busy ballbusting, being men, being aggressive ruthless dominant types, following their own star. And boys up today have rationally decided they aren’t worth it and have pursued their own happiness which often times is trivial.
The same plea for men fits here as well.
My first wife of 21 years went home because of cancer.
and I was sixty plus.
I actively looked for and found a Christian angel willing to love me and care for my aging self, now almost seventy one.
I'd probably be a slovenly drug/drunk creep surfing porn if God hadn't directed my path.
50 is not too old to find a mate if you are sincere.
And when looking for a mate, I suggest joining a Bible-believing church. Church goers will help you find a good man.
When I was able to retire, I DID.
Yep, it’s far more fun to be successful together, than it is to compete with each other.
MOVE !
“The Code Of The West” still applies, and ultimately always will.”
There’s a lot of wisdom in that.
By chance, have you seen Hell on Wheels? It’s a 5 season TV series, I think originally AMC now on Netflix.
But it really illuminates the human condition, and precisely in The West where all the difficulties of life are exaggerated as are the solutions.
It’s really an incredible show. I’d highly recommend it. :)
Right.
Inside the home is a totally different thing.
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