Posted on 11/27/2018 6:08:59 AM PST by Kaslin
Every Wednesday, the second hour of my national radio show is the "Male/Female Hour." A few weeks ago, a woman named Jennifer called in. For reasons of space, I have somewhat shortened her comments. Every young woman should read them. This is precisely what she said:
"Dennis, I want to get right to it. I'm 50 years old with four college degrees. I was raised by a feminist mother with no father in the home. My mother told me get an education to the maximum level so that you can get out in the world, make a lot of money. And that's the path I followed. I make adequate money. I don't make a ton of money. But I do make enough to support my own household.
"I want to tell women in their 20s: Do not follow the path that I followed. You are leading yourself to a life of loneliness. All of your friends will be getting married and having children, and you're working to compete in the world, and what you're doing is competing with men. Men don't like competitors. Men want a partner. It took me until my late 40s to realize this.
"And by the time you have your own household with all your own bills, you can't get off that track, because now you've got to make the money to pay your bills. It's hard to find a partner in your late 40s to date because you also start losing self-confidence about your looks, your body. It's not the same as it was in your 20s. You try to do what you can to make your life fulfilling. I have cats and dogs. But it's lonely when you see your friends having children, going on vacations, planning the lives of their children, and you don't do anything at night but come home to your cats and dogs. I don't want other women to do what I have done."
I asked, "Was it hard for you to make this call?"
She responded: "It was. I want to be anonymous because I don't want people that I know to really know my true feelings. Because you do act like 'My career is everything. I love working.' But it's a lie on the inside for me. It's unfortunate. I didn't realize this until it's too late. I don't know if it's too late. I would like to find somebody to go on vacation with.
"You have other concerns when you get older and you live alone. Who's going to take you to your medical appointments? If something should happen to you, there's no other income there to help you. These are things you don't understand when you're in your 20s because you don't think you'll ever get old and have health problems.
"I'm stuck now because I go to work every day. I smile like I love it, but it's very painful to not plan a vacation with someone. It's painful to not have a Thanksgiving dinner with someone. You sit home alone and you do nothing. I avoid my friends now that have children because I have nothing in common with them.
"Somebody asked me the other day, 'Why did you stay single and never have kids?' There's answers: Because I was brainwashed by my mother into this. But it's hard and it's shameful to tell people, 'I don't know. I ran out of time.'
"There's not a good answer for it except 'I was programmed to get into the workforce, compete with men and make money.' Supposedly, that would be a fulfilling life. But I was told that by a feminist mother who was divorced, who hated her husband -- my father.
"She tried to steer me on what she thought was the right path, but feminism is a lie. That's what I want women to know.
"I didn't realize this until late in life. I want to tell women: Find someone in your 20s. That's when you're still very cute. That's when you're still amiable to working out problems with someone. It's harder in your 50s, when you've lived alone, to compromise with someone, to have someone in your home and every little thing about them annoys you because you're so used to being alone. It's hard to undo that, so don't do what I did. Find someone in your 20s."
I said, "I'm thinking of transcribing your call and making it a column."
"Do that, Dennis. I want to help whoever I can," she said.
“As for my wife and I, maybe we weren’t “perfect” for each other but we made it work and we are still going strong 30+ years later.”
My wife was perfect, but she still married me!
Marriage is hard, and it doesn’t solve every problem; but, it’s nice to have someone to fight alongside. Truthfully, we’re hitting 33 this year, and it’s only through God’s grace.
Our girls are young and pursuing families, not careers as a focus. I’m very happy, though the son-in-laws are a work in progress. Young men seem to have a different perspective these days.
I even know Mark 16.95 !
No one actually evil, but do not attend where THEY got their good thought basics and refuse to allow their kids, my grand children the same opportunity.
Very true. Woman, whom God formed from Adam’s rib, was purposed by God to be man’s helpmate. The husband’s role is to love, respect, protect and provide for his bride, as well as be the spiritual leader in the family. The bride’s role is to love and respect her husband, bear and raise the children, and keep the home, helping her husband.
ONE OF MY FAVORITES.
Not sure how to convince them. Perhaps with changing social security so that your social security benefits are enhanced by the number of children you have paying THEIR taxes.
When the current system collapses, those who have lots of family who care about them are more likely to survive. Elderly childless people will likely to have nobody who is sufficiently interested in them to share what they have, in which case they die.
“I agree bro. My Philippine born wife, is the same way. She has no idea how bad things can get with rats in charge, no matter how much I try to explain it. It just doesn’t sink in.”
Same with my rock-solid conservative wife. When I was talking to her about moving to the Old Country if Hillary won and started acting out her vicious hatred towards conservatives - my wife’s response was “I didn’t go through all this shiite to become a US citizen, just to go back home”. I promised her that we’d only do that if things get bad here, and she won’t want to stay here either.
With my solid old-line Democrat mom (the type of person who lives her entire life as a conservative, but still votes for America-haters, without exception), she looks at me like I’m from another planet when I explain the minority (liberal) Supreme Court opinion on the DAPA case (I think - that was the one like DACA, but for parents), that, thankfully, the conservatives won.
In that case (or one similar, not sure), the issue was whether Obama could use his ‘pen and phone’ to unilaterally change US law, because Congress wouldn’t do it for him.
The Leftists said that the issue was between the president and Congress and that the courts should stay out of it. In other words, Obama (and Hillary, had she won), could simply and arbitrarily change US law, and then it was up to Congress to clarify, rewrite, or overrule the president, by passing a bill. While that sounds nice on the surface, what it means is that the bill would have to pass by veto-proof margins, which the Republicans will never be near getting.
So the bottom line there is that the Leftists on the Supreme Court basically said that Obama could re-interpret, or make any law they wanted, and if the Democrats in Congress agreed with him (to sustain a veto), then there was NOTHING the Republicans, even if a majority could do about it - and the fact that the Constitutional process for making or modifying laws was being bypassed didn’t matter a bit to them.
That fits my definition of a dictatorship and that’s when I pack the bags and wave goodbye to this once-wonderful country. My mom is very, very, smart, but was TOTALLY CLUELESS in understanding the implications of that opinion. It’s scary how something that simple cannot even be comprehended by most people.
She works part time as a fitness trainer, she loves the ability to get out and get social, another opportunity to talk to people about God. You are still young, financial stability comes eventually, struggle is what we all do when young, they are times you will remember when you had to rely on God and He came through, it brings your family closer together.
This would be a great resource for this woman. 50 is not too late to find the love of your life.
The problem with some women is not how to find a man who could be "the love of her life".
The problem is that she is in competition with other women for the most desirable men, so her task would really be how to turn HERSELF into someone who would be the love of HIS life, so that he would choose HER over all the OTHER competitors.
A 50 year-old woman who has no children does have one advantage, especially if she somewhat attractive. There wouldn’t be any arguments or discussions about who’s family to spend holidays and vacations with.
The biggest obstacle is getting a good man to understand why she hasn’t been married before and that she is willing to make sacrifices for the relationship. Best way to do that is by being completely honest about her past.
My ex divorced me when we were 48. Neither of us cheated on the other. It was just a mismatch from the beginning. All the kids were grown and gone.
A good woman doesn’t have near as much competition as sh might think. There are a lot of screwed up middle-age divorced women.
The book at the link addresses that point and how to go about it.
I'm not going to buy it to find out. Can you give a brief summary?
You can go to Amazon.com to read reviews.
I went to Amazon, read some reviews, did not see the answer to my question in the first couple of pages, and was unwilling to wade through them all.
Sorry, I thought you had read it yourself and might remember what the author had to say about the issue of the woman having competition in pursuit of her “ideal man”, from other women looking for the same thing.
OK. You said the book addresses my point about competition between women for the men who would be most likely to make good husbands. Do you happen to recall any particular point from the book which you can relate?
My point is that, somebody who wants to be successful in finding a good mate, should work at improving his or herself so as to make it more likely that the person they want will want THEM. Whether that be spending more time at the gym becoming more physically fit, or reading more stuff which might make the person more intellectually stimulating, or whatever.
If you happen to recall some specific items from the book, then fine. If all you have is “read the book”, I’m not interested as I’m not in the market anyway, being happily married, and so this conversation would be done.
I can accept the idea of enhancements to benefits.
I’m not arguing with you over the need; just showing what you’re up against.
We won’t make any headway with young women today by simply exhorting them to some equivalent of ‘just lie back and think of England’.
(More’s the pity ;-)
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