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Today's Ghastly Groaner
The Coeur d'Alene Press ^ | 9/28/18 | D. Barron & Maureen Dolan Editor

Posted on 09/28/2018 12:07:46 PM PDT by ProtectOurFreedom

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband’s occupation.

“He’s a funeral director,” she said.

“Interesting,” the newsman thought.

He then asked her if she wouldn’t mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years.

After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20s, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40s, and a preacher when in her 60s, and now, in her 80s — a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained, “I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.”

(Excerpt) Read more at cdapress.com ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons; US: Idaho
KEYWORDS: chat; humor; joke; notnews
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To: ProtectOurFreedom

A big ‘thank you’ to all who contributed to this thread. A breath of fresh air after yesterday. :)


21 posted on 09/28/2018 3:06:46 PM PDT by Tomato lover
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To: Tomato lover

Glad you liked it!


22 posted on 09/28/2018 3:08:58 PM PDT by ProtectOurFreedom
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To: SpinnerWebb

I’m a frayed knot.......


23 posted on 09/28/2018 6:41:18 PM PDT by faturism (faturismbut'ty)
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To: ProtectOurFreedom

I recently read a story about a ball player who was beaned by a pitcher in the bottom of the sixth inning.

Can someone tell me where on the body that is?


24 posted on 09/28/2018 11:19:38 PM PDT by BradyLS (DO NOT FEED THE BEARS!)
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To: BradyLS
That's the location (the bottom of the sixth inning) where his beans were lurking, prior to the pitch.   (After the pitch, they've now relocated to a different location, the top of the seventh inning.)
25 posted on 09/28/2018 11:37:07 PM PDT by Songcraft
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To: ProtectOurFreedom

Thanks - have been having computer problems so this was great.

Here’s one for you;)

A blonde dials 911 to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher. “They’ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, and even the accelerator!” she cries.

The 911 dispatcher says, “Stay calm. An officer is on the way. He will be there in two minutes.”

Before the police get to the crime scene, however, the 911 dispatcher’s telephone rings a second time, and the same blonde is on the line again.

“Never mind,” giggles the blonde, “I got in the back seat by mistake.”


26 posted on 09/29/2018 2:12:32 PM PDT by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
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To: sodpoodle

LOL...I always enjoy that one (even though I shouldn’t).


27 posted on 09/29/2018 2:15:45 PM PDT by ProtectOurFreedom
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