Posted on 12/13/2017 4:50:06 AM PST by Kaslin
That is definitely a guy’s perspective, because in my day, girls weren’t encouraged to act like guys, however, I don’t think that is the case today.
As an observer, I see pressure for young girls to drink like guys, engage in sex like guys, and engage in physical assault like guys.
I find it disgusting, destructive, and reprehensible, but there it is. So you see far more incidents of women engaging in the same king of personal assaults that boys used to, and...for what?
But as a guy, you need to show you can deal with it. Doesn’t have to be fisticuffs or even any physical confrontation at all, but if you show yourself to be a doormat, there are guys who will treat you as a doormat.
As I said, there are life lessons and benefits to dealing directly with that kind of uncomfortable situation. And it is uncomfortable. For a young kid, having to confront fear is not an easy thing...it might well be one of the hardest things for a kid to do, but wrapping kids in bubble wrap doesn’t do them any favors.
Bwahahahahahahahaha
I think it is a natural inclination for boys to be sheep dogs instead of sheep, although society is trying very hard to eradicate that impulse in males.
I know what you’re getting at, and frankly I think a few “assault” (really battery) cases could be swept aside especially when it’s just a “disagreement” that’s between 2 adults.
I do think schools should be paying better attention to what goes on, but with all this talk of “bullying” being all the rage (including our private school), there is still alot of misplaced justice. As people mentioned - zero tolerance can = “zero common sense”. Kids who are just REACTING to the truly bad kids often get the punishment, not the kids that deserve it. (It’s happening in our school, where a girl who came later to our school was physically hurting boys in the class, including the tough boys who generally don’t mind roughhousing and aren’t too sensitive; she’s just aggressive. Her folks get “talked to” but nothing really happens to the girl.)
Bullies are mostly symptoms of prisons. Schools are prisons. Government schools are government prisons.
I think there is a level where you and I could find common ground...:)
Some animals are more equal than others...
Good for your daughter, Tammy! A suspension? So what... it doesn’t go on her “high school to college transcripts”. It really isn’t what it was like when I was a kid (meaning only reserved for serious offenses and really for “bad” kids). Your daughter showed her character. She showed her compassion. She showed her humanity. My family would have taken it like a “Badge of Honor” because she was honorable. (plus, she would have gotten a lunch at IHOP (my gals favorite) and a mani-pedi. Good job at being a Mommy, T. Your work showed that day. :)
There is no way to stop it, you can only lessen the frequency and severity. It is a part of “coming of age”.
Bullying is like any kind of crime--we can't stop it, but that doesn't mean we should just throw our hands up and not even try.
Zero tolerance is just another type of bullying. It is impossible to impose a one-size-fits-all policy; every situation must be considered in the context in which it occurred.
People say fist fighting doesn’t solve anything but I have seen it solve bullying and aggressive behavior. That is how it used to work, the kid being bullied or an older sibling or friend would beat up the bully and it worked.
To me, the argument that kids should learn to stand up for themselves is incredibly tedious. Not every kid is physically or mentally able to stand up for him or herself. Many victims of bullying do not have an older sibling or big friend to protect them. One of the hallmarks of bullying is that bullies are careful about who they decide to victimize. They don't choose kids who can fight back. They spread rumors and innuendo and create a toxic environment in which no one will talk to the victim or acknowledge that the victim is a human being. Giving the victim the message that he or she should learn to stand up for him/herself or, worse, that the victim should just tolerate the situation (it builds character!) just reinforces the feelings of despair and worthlessness that the victim already has.
While zero tolerance policies are bad, so, too, are attitudes that bullying should be ignored and allowed to continue unabated. If the behavior would land an adult in prison, or get an adult charged with violating EEO laws, then why is it okay to allow a child to behave that way?
Not suggesting that we don’t try to stop it..nobody wants to be on the receiving end.
But the solutions proffered are not universal, and therein is the real problem. There is no one size fits all to remediating this.
Part of it starts in the home with good parenting. Sorry, but you can’t regulate/mandate parenting styles.
No, but you *can* hold the parents responsible for the kids’ behavior.
Exactly. And nobody wants to because the parents then bully the school board with threats of lawsuits and pitching a fit.
They just learned to bully in new and creative ways.
Children are not meant to be educated in large herds locked within four walls.
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