"Karate. The lifetime pursuit of balance and harmony...But with punching and kicking."
Posted on 06/07/2017 7:57:28 AM PDT by TigerClaws
AUBURN, CA—Local 36-year-old man Nate Ripley, who identifies as a six-year-old, “absolutely crushed” a game-winning homer at a local tee-ball game and won the championship for his team Monday evening, reports confirmed.
Ripley reportedly walked up to the plate in the bottom of the 6th, pointed his bat toward the left-field wall looming 130 feet in the distance, and let her rip, sending the ball rocketing over the fence and into a parking lot as the fans cheered and his coach yelled out, “Attaboy, Nate! Good job, bud!”
His team, the Lil’ Padres, attempted to hoist him up on their shoulders in celebration of their great victory over the favored Tiny Tigers, but were unable to pick up the large 230-pound man.
Ripley’s feat comes at the end of a momentous tee-ball season, in which the self-identified six-year-old absolutely shattered every record set prior to that point. With a 1.000 batting average, 52 home runs, and an incredible showing at first base, second base, shortstop, third base, and pitcher, the man is being called an inspiration to other six-year-olds everywhere.
“I’m just proud to be here with my team. It’s all for the love of the game,” an emotional Ripley told reporters while enjoying an orange slice and juice box after the championship. “I couldn’t have done it without my team.”
Next, he is going to identify as a 12 year old boy and be the QB and RB for the middle school football team and set new rushing and scoring records...
Then he is going to identify as a 12 year old girl and be the best player in the girl’s middle school basketball team...
I don’t know whether to be angry with his family for allowing him to do this or to be sad for them having to watch as his mental illness is put on public display.
Pathetic and dangerous.
It’s satire.
"Karate. The lifetime pursuit of balance and harmony...But with punching and kicking."
I plan on it.
You must be a H8R because you use reason and logic.
“The Babylon Bee is Your Trusted Source For Christian News Satire.”
It’s the Babylon Bee for those who are not in on the joke yet . . . please, no one take this literally!
Then he is going to identify as a 70 year-old man so he can qualify for Social Security and Medicare at the age of 36.
I am so immune to satire that I ate three Irish children after reading Johnathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal”.
I posted it on my FB page...will see what response will be.
Hilarious, yet reality is inching closer. Think about this, if boys are running in girls’ track events, and 20 year old “teens” are coming in illegally, there will come a day when a 20-something man placed in school will decide he identifies as a girl and wants to win a state track or wrestling medal.
C’mon, people. Get a grip.
I sent this to several friends. About half thought it was real. Its impossible to do satire on the left because nothing is so absurd that it is impossible that it could be real.
Insane.
Satire is IN THE HEADLINE. Good lord people.
LOL...
Okay. TG got me.
Though I’m sick of these satire threads. Don’t such posters have better things to do? There are literally thousands of items per day that could be of real import. But some posters waste bandwidth and their time - as well as ours and mine - with this satire nonsense.
Sheesh!
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