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Breaking: Rolling Stones Guitarist Keith Richards Found Still Alive!!! (satire but true)
New Roman Times ^
| 12/27/2017
Posted on 12/28/2016 5:01:29 AM PST by God luvs America
click here to read article
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To: God luvs America
Kinda surprising they found him sitting beside an amp; one would be forgiven for believing he was found wrapped up in bandages and stuffed into a sarcophagus somewhere just outside Cairo.
To: God luvs America
Keith Richards and Elvis are perfect characters for some “Men in Black” episode.
Of course, Elvis returned to his home planet.
3
posted on
12/28/2016 5:09:44 AM PST
by
COBOL2Java
(1 Tim 2:1-3)
To: God luvs America
LOL, The headline for the decade!!!
To: God luvs America
What Keith Richards has taught me is that the key to a long life is chain smoking, doing an insane number of Drugs and drinking tons of hard liquor.
5
posted on
12/28/2016 5:14:43 AM PST
by
KC_Lion
("I'm a believer that you don't need a title, and you don't need an office to make a difference"~S.P.)
To: God luvs America
Keith Richards, the new Abe Vigoda.
6
posted on
12/28/2016 5:15:17 AM PST
by
Riley
(The Fourth Estate is the Fifth Column.)
To: God luvs America
7
posted on
12/28/2016 5:15:18 AM PST
by
Carriage Hill
( Peace is that brief glorious moment in history, when everybody stands around reloading.)
To: God luvs America
To: God luvs America
How can you be SURE he’s alive...look at him!
9
posted on
12/28/2016 5:18:18 AM PST
by
burndoubt
(I'm the most pleasant mother pheasant plucker that ever plucked a mother pheasant)
To: God luvs America
Didn’t realize this until recently but Keith Richards lives only a few miles from me by Devil’s Den Nature Preserve in Weston, CT. Well it’s one of his homes anyway, I’ve never seen him around town. Nice hiking area though. Maybe I’ll run into him someday on the trail. Be much more likely to see him than to see Crooked Hillary on the trails in Chappequa.
To: God luvs America
One could substitute Don Imus. Richards and he look like twins separated at birth....
11
posted on
12/28/2016 5:27:04 AM PST
by
donozark
(Attention Bella and Gigi Hadid: PLEASE stop fighting over me!)
To: God luvs America
That was hilarious, thanks!!!
To: God luvs America
Dylan was opening for the Stones when he won his Nobel prize for literature.... Richard’s response paraphrased... “I should’ve got one for chemistry.”
13
posted on
12/28/2016 5:31:37 AM PST
by
jerod
(Socialism=Governance by Government - The National Socialist German Workers' Party is a good example.)
To: donozark
Watch it donozark. I've got your number!!!
To: KC_Lion
How his lungs continue to function is remarkable.
More pictures of him exist with a cigarette than without.
15
posted on
12/28/2016 5:31:59 AM PST
by
Blue Jays
( Rock hard ~ Ride free)
To: SamAdams76
I’m sure that Keith saw plenty of trails back in the day.
16
posted on
12/28/2016 5:32:49 AM PST
by
Freestate316
(Know what you believe and why you believe it.)
To: Lonesome in Massachussets
So true... When he’s 115 and they ask him what has kept him alive for so long his answer will likely be... Sex, drugs and rock and roll.
17
posted on
12/28/2016 5:35:46 AM PST
by
jerod
(Socialism=Governance by Government - The National Socialist German Workers' Party is a good example.)
To: God luvs America
As the old joke goes, if there is ever an all-out nuclear war, the only living things that will survive will be cockroaches and Keith Richards.
To: God luvs America
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah
Woo woo, woo woo
19
posted on
12/28/2016 5:40:59 AM PST
by
Sasparilla
(I 'm Not Tired Of Winning)
To: God luvs America
He has been married to Patti Hansen since 1983 when he turned 40. I give her a lot of credit. The short bio I read online says she is a born again Christian.
20
posted on
12/28/2016 5:46:57 AM PST
by
xp38
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