Posted on 01/20/2016 11:38:09 AM PST by presidio9
I think my father, who died 10 years ago, was gay or preferred men, but I have no proof. I base my suspicion mostly on the way he looked at people, some magazine subscriptions and one conversation.
I came out to my parents in the 1970s, while home from college. That same night, my father took me aside and confided that before his marriage he had an affair with a man but got psychological help and was "cured." He hoped I would do the same. He said, "Promise not to tell your mother — it will break her heart." I promised.
Some time later, I asked him to tell me more about that man, but he denied the whole story, and we had a bit of a fight. However, many years later, in a brief autobiography he wrote for his grandÂchildren, he referred to a high-school friendship that he would "rather not talk about."
He grew to be supportive of my sexuality and was gracious to my boyfriends, but his backtracking on his confession made me stop trusting him.
Am I obliged to tell my mother any of this? The thought that I have been complicit in hiding the truth from her makes me uncomfortable. But it's possible that he invented his "confession" in a misguided attempt to help me, abandoning the strategy after it failed. The only thing of which I am certain is that he let me down.
I'm hard-Âpressed to think of a way my story could benefit my mother, who is now in her 80s. Even if my father really was keeping a secret, there’s no way to know whether he broke a commitment to her. Plus,
-SNIP-
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
What I’m sure he means is, he doesn’t have pictures to show mom.
She might even come back with something like “Honey, we knew about it and I said to your father, as long as you don’t bugger and as long as you stay faithful to me, what you think on your spare time is up to you. We chose not to tell you because we did not want to hurt you.”
It is a personal choice for me not based on what someone else might think. I don’t need the drama and I really despise libs and all America haters. Same for queers. No use for them what so ever.
It's all about pathological self-centeredness, part of the disorder.
Someone should ask this bozo if he found out, or even just "suspected," that his father had an affair with a woman before marriage if he should tell his mother.
No, he’s dead. Let it go.
Homos tend to imagine all sorts of things that never happened.
Or that his dad did something dumb when he was a teen, felt genuinely bad for what he did and got the help he needed to get past it (if what he’s saying about his dad is true).
Nothing irritates them more than a person like this.
- the fag questioner had no actual "fact" that his father was "gay."
- the revelation of this hunch would help his mother in no way imaginable.
- A promise made to the father didn't cease to be binding because the promisee is dead.
this is similar to someone shouting fire in a crowded theater....I control you by raising my childish voice....
Excellent point.
Sodomy, and public acceptance of sodomy, has a lot in common with the plague in medieval Europe. In fact, it's worse. The plague was a physical illness. Sodomy kills both body and soul.
HOMOSEXUAL, because there's nothing GAY about it.
I was told things about some close family members after they passed away. I wish I had never been told. As I tell my own daughters, “Everybody doesn’t need to know everything about everybody else”. What good does it do? All it does is cause pain to the one who is being told.
And in this case, the “about” someone else wasn’t even conclusive.
Because they have a narcissistic personality disorder.
Because the queer hates women and wants them to suffer?
He let YOU down? What a selfish POS you are!
A remarkable POS indeed...
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