Ewe: Fresno State student arrested in sheep sexual assault

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | November 14, 2014 | By Kale Williams

[Oldeconomybuyer]

A Fresno State University student is facing sexual assault charges and a sheep is being monitored by veterinarians after a bizarre incident at the Central Valley school, ABC7 Los Angeles reported.

What is being referred to as the “sheep incident” has shaken up Fresno State after a student heard noises coming from a barn and found a 23-year-old man having sex with one of the ewes.

The unidentified student responsible for the deed told police he had drank alcohol and was stressed out about a midterm, but offered up no other defense of his actions.

[Ken H]

Mick Jagger => 'Hey you, get off of my cloud!'

Angus the farmer => 'Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!'

[Slings and Arrows]

The song I linked mentioned Velcro gloves.

[Joe Boucher]

love to see his contorted look when you ask,

[saleman]

“The unidentified student responsible for the deed told police he had drank alcohol and was stressed out about a midterm, but offered up no other defense of his actions, according to ABC7.”

Well heck, how many excuses does one need?

And then, there’s this:

“The sheep, one of many used for breeding at the school, was being treated by a veterinarian”

So then, what’s the problem?

[Veto!]

he had drank alcohol

And so goes journalism. No grammar, no editing. J school students get graded on how politically correct they are. I am NOT kidding.

[icwhatudo]

lol-nice catch!

[tflabo]

Was it an overnight fling or will he call the sheep in the morning? Hope they shared a cigarette afterwards at least?
Otherwise he was one sheep date,

[Darksheare]

Wringing his hands and salivating.

[Unruly Human]

Well, at least he wasn’t wearing a shirt with half-nekkid women on it.
If he was, we would have heard about it.

[LonePalm]

I understand that his favorite band is the Bestiality Boys.

"Ceterum censeo 0bama esse delendam."

Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)

[Dr. Thorne]

SHEEP DIP!

[I-ambush]

What’s the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish sheep rancher?
Answer: Mick shouts,”Hey, you, get off of my cloud!”, while the sheep rancher shouts, “Hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe!”

[Eagles6]

Maybe he was just trying to help it over the fence.

[ronnie raygun]

Free pass if it were another man because we all know according to ABC's GMA robin, he's a national hero, courages and an inspiration to us all. Sexual relations with anything or anyone else except a women is normal

[I-ambush]

Couldn’t type fast enough

[Responsibility2nd]

Fresno State University student: “Yeah, I was having sex with my girlfried last night when all of a sudden, her mother walks in. It was awkward.”

Friend: “Wow, what did she say?”

Fresno State University student: “Just Baa-aaaaa.”

[Organic Panic]

GUILTY!

[hattend]

I guess his hand was on vacation.

[BlueLancer]

Doesn’t this sort of thing now require written permission beforehand?

[csmusaret]

That swirling toilet bowl known as modern civilization speeds up a bit.

With Captain Ty-D-Bol at the helm.