I bet he wouldn't watch Lone Survivor, too manly for him
Posted on 01/19/2014 10:01:51 AM PST by dead
Robert Reece has found that ignoring the Man Code has improved his life enormously.
Not only does traditional masculinity oppress women but it also severely restricts the agency of men (a topic, I’ve written about in the past in the context of straight man love and hip-hop), often in simple, taken-for-granted ways. Straight men go to extreme lengths to perform masculinity. They avoid a wide variety of activities that they arbitrarily deem feminine or “gay” without analyzing the detrimental effects of this type of gender policing. Often mundane, seemingly inconsequential activities are heavily policed, inhibiting men’s ability to live freely day-to-day. While it’s also important to show men the macro level benefits of feminism and disavowing traditional masculinity, I thought it would be fun to reveal the little ways that my life changed when I stopped trying to perform traditional, patriarchal masculinity. So here it is: the 5 MOST Mundane Ways Disavowing Masculinity Changed My Life.
5) I Admit When I’m Sad
Sadness is weak; it’s feminine. Men rarely admit when they’re sad or depressed because men are supposed to be strong and unemotional. Deciding not to avoid traditional masculinity allows me to admit when I’m sad and seek support and help. I’m not left to deal with my problems alone. I also recognize the healing properties of crying so I even cry occasionally (and not just about sports or death).
4) I Can Touch Other Men
The ways straight men are allowed to touch other men are very limited, often only to handshakes, man-hugs (which are already restrained), and violent expressions (eg. sports, wrestling, etc). Inadvertently touching another man is strictly forbidden so measures must be taken to avoid this: men must be careful when handing a man something lest their hands touch, skip a seat in the movie theater to avoid touching knees, and scrunch up in the back seat of a car so they don’t accidentally rub against one another. It’s all so unnecessarily stressful and homophobic, and I’d rather avoid the whole performance. If we happen to touch, so be it.
3) I Wear Women’s Clothing Accessories
Men’s fashion can be narrow, especially when on a budget, and as someone who enjoys fashion, I’ve found that one way to push the boundaries of color and patterns is to shop in the women’s section for accessories. Women’s scarves and pins are infinitely more diverse than men’s which often only come in black, greys, browns, and dark blues. To find an orange or blue that pops or a nice green and black pattern, the women’s section is the place to be. Unfortunately, my feet are too big to wear women’s shoes because I could certainly go for some inexpensive colorful loafers as well.
2) I Can Admit Another Man Is Attractive
I can’t count the times I’ve heard a man defiantly declare “All men are ugly to me!” in response to being asked whether he thought another man was attractive. Liar. Apparently, straight men think that finding another man attractive is akin to a desire to have sex with him, i.e. admitting that a man looks nice is gay. But we all find a wide variety of people (of any sex or gender) to be attractive and sometimes we seek to express it so I’ve noticed men use an assortment of semantic moves to maintain their masculine performance while complimenting the looks of another man: 1) they’ll compliment his clothes and focus on his clothes, carefully avoiding his general attractiveness, e.g. “I like that suit” as opposed to “You look nice tonight;” 2) they’ll give a backhanded compliment, e.g. “So you think you clean today, huh?” or pair a compliment with a feigned insult such as, “I like that suit, but you’re still ugly;” 3) they simply preface or conclude their compliment with a reminder that they are straight, e.g. “I don’t wanna f#ck him or nothing but Johnny Depp looks good in Pirates of the Caribbean” or the infamous and endlessly homophobic “No homo.” I lack the time for this. If I think I’m an attractive man and expect to be told so, I see no reason to deny other men a similar compliment.
1) I Sit Down to Pee
Honestly, I suspect that many more do this than will admit it. Perhaps since it can be done privately, actually performing the act isn’t as important as admitting it, which few men do. But outside of public restrooms and urgent situations, I’ve never seen the allure of standing to pee. The appeal of it seems to be primarily based on its association with masculinity, but I’d much rather sit. Sitting is more comfortable and much neater, no risk of peeing on the seat or floor or dropping something in the toilet.
♦◊♦
Discarding these seemingly small things also create healthier men who aren’t as stressed by the daily minutia of masculine performance. And though I call these things mundane, they are part of the gendering process that maintains our system of patriarchal stratification, and adopting these simple acts of subversion can go a long way towards dismantling the notion of “real manhood” and with it the idea that men should dominate women.
In common parlance those women are known as “fag hags”. They hang out with these emasculated eunuchs precisely because they pose no sexual threat of any kind.
This prissy boy probably couldn’t get it up if an NFL cheerleader fell out of the sky naked, landed on his face, and started to wiggle.
I would, though, describe another man as “handsome” rather than “attractive”. This guy’s screed just screams “metrosexual”.
This is just dumb. If space is tight, I don't know any man who obsesses about incidental contact with another man, or woman for that matter.
If space isn't tight, it is only polite not to intrude into another man's (or FTM woman's) personal space.
skip a seat in the movie theater to avoid touching knees
I would actually be a good deal more concerned about this with a woman, as she might think I'm trying to get close unnecessarily.
Recently had a woman in the checkout at the grocery accuse me (loudly) of standing too close behind her. Shocked the bejeebers out of me, as I was paying no attention whatsoever to her. After she left, the checkout lady and others in line reassured me I'd not accidentally done something wrong. She was just nuts.
For a graphic representation of unconcious conventions about how close to stand to a stranger, it is possible to precisely diagram where Americans will stand in an elevator. With each additional person that gets on, all shift to their designated location.
Funny, given your nom de juer...
Sitting down to pee has changed his life enormously? He must not have much of a life. But seriously, most of the things he refers to are just stereotypes which do not even apply to most traditional men. Regarding “women’s clothing,” historically, men have worn kilts (Scots), feathered headdresses (some Native American groups), jewelry (Celtic), and so on. People like this guy equate traditional masculinity with a very narrow and very stereotypical view of the reality of male behavior and attire. But libs do love their stereotypes.
True. . .but that is only because the females don’t view them as a threat. . .you know, they can hang out with a ‘man’ like that (homo/metro) and not worry about all that sex stuff. . .
Nobody said you couldn't.
There is a fairly sizable distance between identifying a man as a handsome man, and saying he's attractive. Don't you think? I think the former identifies a characteristic, and the latter a feeling.
Fer sure it ain’t too hard...
I bet he wouldn't watch Lone Survivor, too manly for him
Scouts Out! Cavalry Ho!
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Men Are Just Happier People —
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack...
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you,
He or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
On December 24 in 25 minutes.
___________________________________
Men Are Just Happier People
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!
Two co-workers were have a few beers when they both had to take a leak at the same time. Standing at the urinal trough, one guy couldn't help but notice something peculiar about the other. He said, "Jim, how long have you been wearing women's panties?"
Jim said, "Since my wife found a pair of them in the glove box."
Sitting down to pee and night...yea I know..you don’t want to turn on the light and that “peeing by sonar” always takes to long to “range the target”
I think I’ve touched a purse twice in my life. I hope to never do it again.
I thought this would be a good point at which to bring Laz into the conversation.
Thank you. You stated my earlier point much more clearly than I did as to “handsome” versus “attractive”.
I'm not going to get overly graphic here, but depending on angles it is entirely possible to pee all over the seat and your clothing while seated. Just saying.
I've been know to pee seated, usually when somewhat inebriated or in the middle of the night while not entirely awake. I have never felt it made me less of a man. Real men do things in the most efficient way, and sometimes it's more efficient to pee seated.
Just don’t ever, under any circumstance, look inside and ask; “Whaaa. . .what’s THAT?!”
I’m thinking Robert would get perfect grades in Sociology 101 in 2014.
This is the feminism of the male of the species.
I sit through a few sitcoms these days. What I notice is that the women are strong and the men are... well... pussies.
He cries. He whines. He can’t think his way out of a paper bag on his own.
These traits aren’t ones to shoot for, for either sex.
I also find it interesting that if any physical activity is called for, it’s the 4’ 11” female that whips the ass of the 6’ 4” male. She bends down low and swipes her leg. He falls like a house of cards, down and out.
What these writers write would pass for cartoon material. Unfortunately they see it as how society should be run today. It’s hilarious. Well, it would be if it wasn’t so disgusting and sad.
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