Posted on 05/24/2012 6:49:11 AM PDT by Lazamataz
My Native-American name, from now on, is "Molests Your Poodle." You see, I have recently discovered that I am American Indian -- Cherokee, to be precise.
How did I come to know that I had this wonderful new heritage? Simple: I read Ben Quigly's article about Elizabeth Warren (who is running for the Senate in Massachusetts), in which he defends her claim to be of Cherokee heritage.
Ben produces no evidence that Ms. Warren actually does have Cherokee blood in her veins. In fact, he seems to concede she has none. However, he states that in some metaphysical way, that we are all Cherokee. So, since we are all included in that group, her claim to be Cherokee was in no way intended to be a ruse. It was never intended to gain her political favor and perks in acadamia and other venues, prior to her run for office. It was merely that she intuitively understood that every single person alive is an American Indian.... metaphysically, if not in fact.
Does this not perfectly capture the rationale of the common liberal? If the facts go against you, claim that your case is sound anyways and wave your arms wildly, conjuring images of 'spirits' or 'code words' or 'dog whistles' or 'institutional racism'.
When the facts show that George Zimmerman was viciously attacked by Trayvon Martin, ignore this evidence, press on with the case, and talk about 'institutional racism'.
When the facts show that Obama is a none-too-closeted America-despising Socialist, ignore the evidence and speak of 'dog whistle racism' and 'code words'.
And when your candidate for Senate in Massachusetts has been shown to be an outright liar about her heritage, so that she may receive perks and career enhancements reserved for people actually of that heritage, ignore the facts and preach that it "is not so much a lie as it is the acculturation of personal and regional American myth."
Facts are unimportant to a true-believing liberal. Rationality the first discarded of the luggage they carry.
So, in honor of this absolutely bizarre twisting of reality to conform to a liberal need to adhere to a lie, I would like to honor Ben Quigley with his Native American name: "Lap Poodle of Liberals".
And I am to be known as "Molests Your Poodle".
Do Poodles like peanut butter?
Your Native American Name Is: Sooleawa Malila [Oddly, they got the initials right - of my maiden name]
Your name means: Silver Fast Salmon Swimming Up a Rippling Stream [Nah, I’m too fat]
They can’t all be spot on, I guess, LOL!
AKA “Hits Your Dog”.
Please put me on this ping list. Thanks for the laughs.
Your name means: “Solitary Deer Jumping Downhill”
"Pakuna Matata"
"Jump down the hill and don't worry about it"
Wow.
That’s a *long* name.
Glad to be of service
Uh, yeah.
We met that dumb deer when hubby still had his chopper.
It jumped off a bank right onto the front tire of the Harley.
Thank God hubby is a good rider.
Damn ditzy doe.
100 Satisfied Customers!™
Lucky 100!!!!! YES!!!!!
Laz, please go ahead and sign me up as well ...
I'm that silly millimeter longer .. 101.
Yeah, I already forgot it.
Yeah, now you know there actually was a place called “Lazistan.”
Laz is exercising his “Inner Arab” with this article. Clearly, the “Molests Your Poodle” is derived from the name of Achmedidyerdog- the Iranian Leader.
We understand the reason for the lack of attribution, Laz. From worrying about scalping to worrying about “neck cutting”, a literary life has never been an easy one.
;-)
Material lacking in quality will be moved to a different category.. “SpecialEd”.”
I thought that category would have been titled “ShortBus” in honor of the preferred mode of transportation for Liberals voted out of office.
Little Indian boy asks Mama-squaw:
“Mama-squaw, how did I get my name?”
“Well, you see, son, we have this tradition. When the mother gives birth, she looks outside the tepee and names her child after the first thing she sees.
That’s why your brother is named Standing Elk, and your sister is named Little Doe.
Why do you ask, Two Dogs F.....g?”
You gotta get up pretty damn early in the morning around here....
‘Swift Horny Toad’.
Gee, I hope I hear that same joke a few more times.... LOL
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